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Sleep training and forcing phone calls
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Do you sleep train and force phone calls to grandparents
I do both  
 3%  [ 5 ]
I only sleep train  
 28%  [ 46 ]
I only force calls to grandparents  
 7%  [ 12 ]
I do neither  
 61%  [ 100 ]
Total Votes : 163



amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:24 am
I’m curious if the people feeling strongly are the same or different people. It seems to be contradictory behavior and it seems a large part here are against sleep training but pro forcing phone calls.
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amother
Rainbow


 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:25 am
Define forcing phone calls
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:25 am
amother Rainbow wrote:
Define forcing phone calls


Your kids must call at designated times and they can’t say no.
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mizle10




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:27 am
What on earth is the connection between sleeping through the night and instilling good middos?
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giftedmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:27 am
I used to sleep train and I never forced phone calls
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:28 am
mizle10 wrote:
What on earth is the connection between sleeping through the night and instilling good middos?


I don’t think we all agree it’s good middos. Both are making the child uncomfortable and I’m just curious if there is overlap.
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mizle10




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:28 am
amother OP wrote:
Your kids must call at designated times and they can’t say no.


Do you force supper? Bath time? Getting dressed? Going to school?

I don't force phone calls, it's just very matter of fact. "We're calling bubby and zeidy to wish them a good shabbos now!"
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amother
Ultramarine


 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:30 am
amother OP wrote:
I don’t think we all agree it’s good middos. Both are making the child uncomfortable and I’m just curious if there is overlap.

One is a BABY and one is kids who are learning good middos with a few minutes of discomfort. Life is not all about what makes you comfortable and I think that is good to instil in CHILDREN not babies.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:30 am
mizle10 wrote:
Do you force supper? Bath time? Getting dressed? Going to school?

I don't force phone calls, it's just very matter of fact. "We're calling bubby and zeidy to wish them a good shabbos now!"


How can their basic needs and health be compared to phone calls? That’s concerning to equate them.

It’s more like do you force playing with whoever shows up and sharing toys they don’t want to share category.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:31 am
amother Ultramarine wrote:
One is a BABY and one is kids who are learning good middos with a few minutes of discomfort. Life is not all about what makes you comfortable and I think that is good to instil in CHILDREN not babies.


How is it good middos to make phone calls? And why is it good to make children uncomfortable? Do you think most who are forced end up with natural healthy relationships with grandparents?
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:31 am
mizle10 wrote:
Do you force supper? Bath time? Getting dressed? Going to school?

I don't force phone calls, it's just very matter of fact. "We're calling bubby and zeidy to wish them a good shabbos now!"
so you don't force phone calls.
Op was asking about those who do. If I wanted my child to call a grandparent, I would have to force the child. No I don't do it.
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mizle10




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:32 am
amother OP wrote:
I don’t think we all agree it’s good middos. Both are making the child uncomfortable and I’m just curious if there is overlap.


Omg I could cry from this.

How has the world gotten so warped?

It's not good midos to honour your elders?

We're "making the child uncomfortable?"

How have we gotten so confused from secular society that we can't even see right from wrong?

In 5 years we will no longer be allowed to tell our kids "say thank you". Ch"v it will make them uncomfortable. Wouldn't want to force manners...
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justforfun87




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:32 am
I don't sleep train my kids and I make them speak to their grandparents. Confused by the connection.
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amother
Stone


 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:33 am
OP, I find your question pretty narrow minded.
No, we don't force our kids to call their grandparents. But we do encourage & instill it from when they're babies, that it becomes a normal thing for them to do. It's part of life. My kids can call their grandparents themselves to chat or share news.... it's instilled in them from when they're little. We're raising our kids to have good middos & mentchlichkeit & that the world doesn't revolve around them and them feeling "comfortable."
Sleep training doesn't come in here.
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amother
Ultramarine


 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:35 am
amother OP wrote:
How is it good middos to make phone calls? And why is it good to make children uncomfortable? Do you think most who are forced end up with natural healthy relationships with grandparents?

It is kavod the grandparents. Making children "uncomfortable" to do something for others is teaching them to think of others feelings.getting kids outside their comfort zone is important imo.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:35 am
amother Stone wrote:
OP, I find your question pretty narrow minded.
No, we don't force our kids to call their grandparents. But we do encourage & instill it from when they're babies, that it becomes a normal thing for them to do. It's part of life. My kids can call their grandparents themselves to chat or share news.... it's instilled in them from when they're little. We're raising our kids to have good middos & mentchlichkeit & that the world doesn't revolve around them and them feeling "comfortable."
Sleep training doesn't come in here.


What exactly is narrow minded here? Me trying to see if there is overlap? Why is that exactly?
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mizle10




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:35 am
amother OP wrote:
How can their basic needs and health be compared to phone calls? That’s concerning to equate them.

It’s more like do you force playing with whoever shows up and sharing toys they don’t want to share category.


I'm questioning your word force.
I haven't seen any post of anyone forcing their kids to call their grandparents.
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justforfun87




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:38 am
amother OP wrote:
How is it good middos to make phone calls? And why is it good to make children uncomfortable? Do you think most who are forced end up with natural healthy relationships with grandparents?


I am sorry if someone has to explain to you why calling grandparents is good middos well then.... I am not quite sure what to say. We as a generation are so "me, me, me." We have completely forgotten our obligation to respect our elders and even more so our parents.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:38 am
Why is everyone so triggered over phone calls.

About middos, I was forced to call every Friday as a kid, I hated it. I had a strained relationship with my grandparents. I never made my kids call or even mentioned anything about phone calls. All my kids have a great relationship with grandparents and they actually do call every so often on their own when they want to talk to them. My kids definitely have better middos than I did as a child. So I’m not quite seeing the forcing teaches good middos. It’s the opposite in my house. And I do sleep train btw. I just do it gently with comfort.
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mizle10




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 06 2024, 10:39 am
amother OP wrote:
How is it good middos to make phone calls? And why is it good to make children uncomfortable? Do you think most who are forced end up with natural healthy relationships with grandparents?


You do realise a child who is never uncomfortable will grow up to be a not confident, ungrateful, not resilient brat?

Excuse the strong wording.

That is life. Life is uncomfortable. Trying to cushion kids from everything uncomfortable is doing them a great disservice. Obviously as a mother we try to minimize unnecessary discomfort.

Do I really need to explain why it's good middos to call grandparents???
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