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What did you do on your son's boi bayoim?
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 10:41 am
Do we need 10 men?
Just a mezuman is enough right?
I'm thinking of doing something nice, like a barge trip on my son's actual birthday. With cake and l'chaim... It's in the summer so we can go in the evening of his birthday Smile
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 10:44 am
what’s a barge trip?
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 10:48 am
amother Firebrick wrote:
what’s a barge trip?


https://I.imgur.com/yRAE6Zm.jpeg

A boy in his class did it, that's where my son got the idea from. It's just an idea, it might be too expensive for us.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 11:02 am
never seen such a thing. I’ve been on a bar mitzvah on the circle line (rented out) which was both incredible but also difficult for our tummies lol.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 11:14 am
amother Firebrick wrote:
never seen such a thing. I’ve been on a bar mitzvah on the circle line (rented out) which was both incredible but also difficult for our tummies lol.


What's that? I'm not in the US. I'm talking about his birthday, not the actual bar mitzvah seuda, we'll do that on the Sunday after hours boi bayoim (which will be on a Monday iyH) apparently we need to do something on his actual Hebrew birthday. For example my friend made a nice supper at home with her family and her parents. Think steak , 4 course meal etc. That would be a lot for me! This is a nice way to do something a little different which will be easy for me. Can buy a tray of assorted cakes. Take l'chaims along and have a little trip to celebrate with our son in a different way. But do we need 10 men? I'm almost sure that we don't
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amother
Blue


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 11:18 am
We brought doughnuts to school when my brother was bar mitzvah. My son was born on yom tov- we brought doughnuts when he put in tefillin for the first time.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 11:23 am
amother Blue wrote:
We brought doughnuts to school when my brother was bar mitzvah. My son was born on yom tov- we brought doughnuts when he put in tefillin for the first time.


That's cute. We need to send something into school anyway so that makes sense for us to just do that too. I like that idea, because we anyway need to send in drinks and cakes. And the bar mitzvah boy usually goes in dressed in his suit, hat etc.
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amother
Dimgray


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 11:30 am
Why don't you make the Suda the day of his birthday?
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 11:32 am
amother Dimgray wrote:
Why don't you make the Suda the day of his birthday?

Ya what's this whole bo bayom and not bo bayom business?
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 11:34 am
Because Monday isn't a good day for my husbands siblings to travel in. For the ones that can't come for Shabbos. They'd just come for the seuda, it's a 4 hour drive away for most of them.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 11:35 am
amother Ivory wrote:
Ya what's this whole bo bayom and not bo bayom business?


Most people don't make the seuda on the actual birthday! Often seudas are made on Friday nights. You think all these boys birthdays fall on a Friday night? We chose when it's best for us and the family that we want at our Simcha!
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amother
Feverfew


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 11:42 am
amother OP wrote:
Most people don't make the seuda on the actual birthday! Often seudas are made on Friday nights. You think all these boys birthdays fall on a Friday night? We chose when it's best for us and the family that we want at our Simcha!


Who makes a seudah friday night? Is that specific to a certain community/chassidus?

Everyone I know makes a shabbos for the family with a kiddush in shul and a seudah for the class (and guests) with music and dancing on a weeknight.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 11:45 am
amother Feverfew wrote:
Who makes a seudah friday night? Is that specific to a certain community/chassidus?

Everyone I know makes a shabbos for the family with a kiddush in shul and a seudah for the class (and guests) with music and dancing on a weeknight.


We're not chassidish, litvish jpf, but yes a lot of families in my community make the seuda on a Friday night as then they don't need to make a big sesperate meal for their out of town guests. My son's school don't allow you to invite the friends to the seuda unless the parents are invited (ie. Close friends or family!) and they don't have separate parties. BH it's just a simple sending in of cake and drinks into school Smile best thing!

And if someone has to cook for an extra 50-70 people for a Friday night seuda then they may as well make that their seuda! It saves time and money. It's not a new thing at all. Ours is in the height of summer iyH so that won't really work, I think it's too late for people. My sister's sil literally just did this but they got back home at 1am. Most people don't love that...
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 11:45 am
I just did a beautiful breakfast in my son's bo bayom last week Erev yt.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 11:47 am
amother Seagreen wrote:
I just did a beautiful breakfast in my son's bo bayom last week Erev yt.


That's nice. Thanks! Would only work on a day like an erev y't when everyone is off school and work. Mazel tov!
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 12:00 pm
amother OP wrote:
Most people don't make the seuda on the actual birthday! Often seudas are made on Friday nights. You think all these boys birthdays fall on a Friday night? We chose when it's best for us and the family that we want at our Simcha!

Most people? In what circles? They do in mine as well as in the circles in my extended family- different community than me

I don't think most are on Friday nights, in fact I don't I've ever heard of a Bar Mitzvah party in a Friday night
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 12:04 pm
amother Ivory wrote:
Most people? In what circles? They do in mine as well as in the circles in my extended family- different community than me

I don't think most are on Friday nights, in fact I don't I've ever heard of a Bar Mitzvah party in a Friday night


Yes those that have family coming from afar often chose the date that's most convenient for them. Be it a Thursday, Friday night, motzai Shabbos ( in the winter my bil did this) or a Sunday. These are the dates that people make seudas in my circles.
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amother
Dimgray


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 12:12 pm
Looks like an added expense to me imho
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 12:14 pm
amother Dimgray wrote:
Looks like an added expense to me imho


What is? Apparently we are supposed to do something on the boi bayoim and we anyway need to send cakes into school for his friends so I think we'll just do that. Friday night seudas are saving people money!
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2024, 12:14 pm
I think it should be a seuda. I assume you are in the UK or Europe (where else do they have barges?) and I think that is a great idea. We did a barge trip on chol hamoed recently and it was great, pretty small though I think maximum 15ish people?

Bring hamotzei (bagels and spreads) so it can be a seuda.

We did just family for one son (isru chag and no local family or even friends - we are shluchim) and one with my sons classmates and teachers plus grandfathers and some older cousins came, just in a relatives home with homemade food.
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