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Difficulty with my teens. Anyone have chizuk or advice?
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 17 2024, 11:21 am
amother Aubergine wrote:
Growing up my mother also had emotional blockages and childhood issues that affected us.
When I was a pre teen she started going for therapy and has really changed.
Now as a young mother I have a very close relationship with her and a deep appreciation for the hard work that she put in to be the mother she is now.
Even though I have a family myself she still very much mothers me now and it has really deepened our relationship.
A mother does not stop being a mother at 18!


Wow thank you, that really gives me chizuk! Thank you for taking the time to post. It's nice that you appreciate the work she did, and that it was effective. I'll keep working!
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Mon, Jun 17 2024, 11:21 am
It's so great to get good reports about our teens. Each one is a huge rush of sweetness and warmth.
Much much nachas from them!
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 17 2024, 11:27 am
amother Daylily wrote:
If you will work on believing you are loved unconditionally by hashem, you will give off this aura and your children won’t so easily jibe at you.it takes time!

Self respect is the best thing. Wishing you healing. Trauma has a way of making our cup of self worth very leaky and inconsistent and kids pick up on it easily.

A tzadik falls seven times and gets up say chazal. Stay strong. Hugs.


If a Tzadik get 7 chances to fall and pick up, how many do I get?
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amother
Lightcoral


 

Post Mon, Jun 17 2024, 11:33 am
amother OP wrote:
If a Tzadik get 7 chances to fall and pick up, how many do I get?


Unlimited!
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 17 2024, 11:43 am
amother Chartreuse wrote:
It's so great to get good reports about our teens. Each one is a huge rush of sweetness and warmth.
Much much nachas from them!


Yes, it really gives chizuk, even more when it comes a time when we need a double dose of chizuk...
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 17 2024, 11:45 am
amother Lightcoral wrote:
Unlimited!


Lol thank you!
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Mon, Jun 17 2024, 12:50 pm
Are you the poster who posted an AMA about going to rehab? U don't have to respond if you don't feel comfortable.
The writing feels the same and I remember reading that thread and just being so IMPRESSED with the courage , honesty and hard work.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:32 pm
amother Vermilion wrote:
Are you the poster who posted an AMA about going to rehab? U don't have to respond if you don't feel comfortable.
The writing feels the same and I remember reading that thread and just being so IMPRESSED with the courage , honesty and hard work.


Yes it was me. Thanks so much for asking. IRL I don't talk about it, even to my siblings who were instrumental in my recovery...I want to be the person I always was to those around me.

Yes, it was terribly difficult and traumatic, and it got me back to myself, but I don't let it define me.

So thank you for your post, it's heart warming that you didn't just think it, but you took the time to post that you were impressed. You're very kind.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 18 2024, 8:23 am
giftedmom wrote:
Teens don’t see it like
“Pesach was good so what shevuos you were in a bad mood”.
It triggers them. It possibly brings them back to a time when you were more unhealthy, and it turn they turn on their defense mechanisms. It’s a vicious cycle.
I really see both sides here. I was really hurt by my parents and it also really hurts when my kids give me attitude.
Time and patience heals.


This is such a great post, thank you. It makes a lot of sense, sounds like you have good understanding of how teens work... Your advice is very helpful to me.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 18 2024, 8:46 am
giftedmom wrote:
Teens don’t see it like
“Pesach was good so what shevuos you were in a bad mood”.
It triggers them. It possibly brings them back to a time when you were more unhealthy, and it turn they turn on their defense mechanisms. It’s a vicious cycle.
I really see both sides here. I was really hurt by my parents and it also really hurts when my kids give me attitude.
Time and patience heals.


Giftedmom, I just want to tell you that you've helped me a lot on this site. I've opened a few threads on this topic, and other sensitive topic therefore anonymous.

You've given me some great advice, which I've found very helpful. You also come across as a sensitive and caring person, which I really appreciate due to the nature of the help I'm looking for.

Would love to know you irl, one never knows! Although I think we live on different continents lol.
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