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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Monsey school for smart kid with adhd and behavioral issues?



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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 20 2024, 10:34 am
DS 8 yrs old has adhd and behavioral issues. He is on meds.
his school can't really handle him well, they try, but he just leaves class and wanders around and they call us and we pick him up. and he does mischievous things.

Is there a school that is good for kids like this??
at our wits end. tried so many things.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 20 2024, 9:33 pm
anyone?
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:)iknowit




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 20 2024, 9:34 pm
I don’t know much about it but did you hear of legadel?
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amother
Yolk


 

Post Thu, Jun 20 2024, 9:50 pm
There really are no schools in monsey that cater to kids like this unfortunately.
Is the school asking him to leave?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 20 2024, 11:03 pm
:)iknowit wrote:
I don’t know much about it but did you hear of legadel?


no what is that?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 20 2024, 11:05 pm
amother Yolk wrote:
There really are no schools in monsey that cater to kids like this unfortunately.
Is the school asking him to leave?


so what do people do?
they haven't asked him to leave but he's not really learning if he is sent home all the time. and even when he's there, he has a hard time focusing. with meds.
they do try, incentives, breaks, etc, but still. he barely learned a thing this year.
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amother
Pink


 

Post Thu, Jun 20 2024, 11:27 pm
Usually the schools require that you get a para to keep the child in check.
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esuss




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 20 2024, 11:37 pm
Look into bais hachinuch.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 12:48 am
amother Pink wrote:
Usually the schools require that you get a para to keep the child in check.


if I get a para, who will be training the para on how to deal with him?
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amother
Pink


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 1:34 am
amother OP wrote:
if I get a para, who will be training the para on how to deal with him?


Speaking from experience, It is SO complicated and every situation is its own story.
Best case scenario is to get someone who has a special ed degree and obtain government funding. Otherwise, there are different levels of knowledge etc. of course, the paras are in contact with the parents and the school . The ultimate goal is to be there to help guide the child when needed but otherwise to give space so the child can be mainstreamed where he/ she is otherwise on the level to be.

One of my brother’s needed a para for the younger grades. Some years were luckier than others as far as education level etc. This is more common than you think. I have a few friends who are paras (they are not in monsey anymore, otherwise I would refer). Also, off the bat right now 2 of my kids have classmates with a para and have no idea that the paras are paras , I only happen to know because I am friends with the mothers who reached out to me for guidance because they remembered my brother had one.

Generally, the paras are introduced as an extra assistant in the class and most kids do not catch on that the para is really there for one on one purposes .
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 1:54 am
What government funding will cover a para for a kid with ADHD in a yeshiva?
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amother
Blush


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 7:03 am
amother OP wrote:
no what is that?


It’s for children with special needs idk why that posted is talking about it.

Bais hachinuch is more for children who need extra academic help and you said your son is smart

It sounds like your son needs extra stimulation in school. Someone to take him out and do different activities with him and give him one on one attention. You may have to hire a para on your own.
My son is like this also. Not easy
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amother
Blush


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 7:04 am
amother Ruby wrote:
What government funding will cover a para for a kid with ADHD in a yeshiva?


Hcbs used to but now it became impossible to get approved because people abused the system.
If the child qualifies for an autism diagnosis then they can get services through opwdd
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amother
Yolk


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 7:32 am
amother OP wrote:
so what do people do?
they haven't asked him to leave but he's not really learning if he is sent home all the time. and even when he's there, he has a hard time focusing. with meds.
they do try, incentives, breaks, etc, but still. he barely learned a thing this year.

From my own experience, as I have a child a little younger than that with the same issues. You just keep them in whatever school they're in if they're not being asked to leave. When I tried looking into other schools was basically told to put in a special needs school/public school to deal with his behavioral issues. But all the special needs programs are for learning disabilities/academic so really doesn't belong there. BH he did much better this year being on meds. Maybe he needs to find a better med combo
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 8:06 am
I know someone very happy in ligadel. There's also Bais Ohr. As a parent of a child who went through this system it smashes their self confidence and self esteem. Putting him in a specialized school can make all the difference.
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amother
Marigold


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 8:48 am
My son had a lot of trouble in 1st grade, but therapy, OT, social skills work, and meds (along with incentives and working together with the teachers) made a world of difference for 2nd grade and we’re still working on it and making progress. At this age my son is really happy to be pulled from class for these sessions, as he needs the breaks anyway, gets prizes, and there’s no stigma (yet).
Personally, I’d work on the behavior issues rather than just let it go and try to switch schools. Kids like this need these skills/coping mechanisms anyway for life. If you let the behaviors persist they will, but the kid will end up unhappy and with a very low self-esteem from always being yelled at/getting in trouble. Good luck. It’s not an easy path, but it’s well worth it for the life skills and confidence your child will gain. It’s also veri important for socialization. The earlier the better.
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