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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section
Making a small kiddush for baby girl

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Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 3:06 pm
We are a young family, this is my second baby and we live in a basement in a development in Lakewood. Making a kiddush in Shul for men. I invited family members in walking distance to come to me for a ladies kiddush, but it looks like only 4 people are coming!!! I knew it was going to be small, but not this small!!
The 2 neighbours I invited are away for Shabbos and it’s supposed to be very hot so no family who lives more than 10 minutes away is coming.
How can I feel ok despite it being such a tiny kiddush? How do I not feel friendless?? I don’t have a ton of friends, but the 5 friends I do have live super far away and can’t come….
Can some Imas help me feel normal and tell me that my kiddush will be beautiful anyway?? Tell me I’m not the only one with this kind of situation!
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Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 3:09 pm
I am an introvert and don’t have many friends and we just made a kiddush for men


My parents and in laws stayed over for Shabbos

It was very nice!
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Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 3:11 pm
I made a kidush and exactly two people showed up for me. My parents were officially hosting but we live in the same neighborhood. I noticed that almost nobody could be bothered to come for me.

And those two people showed me who my real friends are.

So you have double what I have! You must be super popular!

I would also reorient my expectations. Instead of thinking of a Kiddush as a big public event which should have two dozen people, think of it as a small, intimate birthday party. You're there to celebrate with the people you care about.
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Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 3:15 pm
For different reasons I made a bar mitzvah kiddush at the last minute and didn't send out formal invites. I figured which ever men were in the shul would come and maybe a few women but had low expectations and that was okay with me. We got a really nice crowd of women, I was so surprised. So you never know OP who will actually come in the end.
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Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 3:20 pm
We don’t make a ladies kiddush. And I’m glad for that because I wouldn’t have to many people either
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Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 4:12 pm
My husband’s friend’s wife had a baby and made a men’s kiddush, I really wanted to go because I know she doesn’t have much family here, but DH and I had a miscommunication and he went without me while I was at home waiting for him to walk with me. When he came home he said it wasn’t for ladies, there was no one there and she didn’t want anyone.

My point is don’t feel friendless, a lot of people probably assume the reason you’re making only a men’s kiddush in shul is because you’re pp and don’t want it
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Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 4:16 pm
3-4 friends is great.

You can really have a nice schmooze instead of playing hostess to a crowd.

Mazel tov 🎈
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Post Tue, Jun 25 2024, 10:53 pm
My sis just made a Kiddush that sounds similar. Her mother, mil, and 4 sils came. No friends at all. Not even neighbors. I felt bad for her but she didn't seem to care
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Post Tue, Jun 25 2024, 11:01 pm
We made a mens kiddush in shul, and a small informal gathering for ladies for my mother, mother in law, sisters and sisters in law. That's it.
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Post Wed, Jun 26 2024, 12:48 am
3 people came to my baby’s kiddush. My mother, my mother in law, and one sister in law. My sisters didn’t come, each one for a different reason.
I was fine with that. I didn’t really want to make a ladies kiddush at all but my mother in law insisted.
It was very nice!
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