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How to manage DD’s knotty hair



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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:33 pm
My preteen DD has gorgeous wavy hair. Recently it’s gotten quite thick. Unfortunately it is very prone to knots, and she has trouble brushing it. When I try to help her it’s torturous for both of us. She is just sobbing that she hates her hair.

How do I prevent her hair from getting so terribly matted? And how do we get the knots out without so much pain? I myself have thick hair but I have no trouble brushing it. We are planning on cutting her hair a little shorter.
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:41 pm
I have my daughter sleep in a high pony with a scrunchy in her hair. It really keeps it from getting tangled at night.
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613mitzvahgirl




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:42 pm
There’s a spray called detangler from Johnson snd Johnson in a green spray bottle.. it works wonders, but you have to wash it like you usually do right after or it will be oily and gross..
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:43 pm
amother Lavender wrote:
I have my daughter sleep in a high pony with a scrunchy in her hair. It really keeps it from getting tangled at night.


What we actually found helpful is sleeping with multiple ponies or scrunchies all the way down (one big “bubble braid”). It does help to an extent. But during the day her hair gets so knotty. And she has a hard time getting the knots out, so they grow bigger and bigger. It’s awful.
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:47 pm
Do not brush her hair dry ever. Only brush it when wet right after the shower. My kids sleep in ponies, they redo it in the morning and their hair stays nice all day. The more you brush the more of a ratty knotty mess it turns into.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:52 pm
Aussie shampoo and lots of conditioner every time she washes her hair. Then tail and main hairspray detangler (its a leave-in conditioner) with a wide tooth double row comb. Works like a charm on my daughter’s crazy knotty, thick (but gorgeous!) curly hair.
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:53 pm
How long is her hair now? If it's down to her waist, and she's wearing it loose during the day, then it needs a lot of maintenance - brushing, conditioning, and probably a braid at night.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:54 pm
amother Floralwhite wrote:
Do not brush her hair dry ever. Only brush it when wet right after the shower. My kids sleep in ponies, they redo it in the morning and their hair stays nice all day. The more you brush the more of a ratty knotty mess it turns into.


My other dd has thick curly hair and we never, ever brush it when dry. For some reason hers doesn’t get as knotty.

With this dd her hair is so difficult to brush, wet or dry. When we eventually get all the knots out, they just come right back. Her hair also does not stay in a pony well. It’s always falling out. It just looks like a mess.
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Hashem_Yaazor




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:03 pm
Pantene makes this milk product that is amazing. But I only really do that for straight hair kids... Wavy needs to be combed with wide comb in shower with the conditioner in and then rinsed out and again after shower when still wet.
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amother
Tealblue


 

Post Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:07 pm
Hi! I’m a hairdresser. My DD too has thick knotty hair. My favorite shampoo and conditioner for her is L’Oréal Elvive. Orange bottle, with a pump. I’m encourage her to use a lot of conditioner.
In the summer months we use a leave in conditioner too (Garnier) before brushing. We get the knots out every night. I’m the morning I rebrush the top and put it in a pony. I don’t both trying to get the knots out all over again. Do not let the knots build up. It can get really crazy where it takes a professional over an hr to get out!!
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:25 pm
amother Tealblue wrote:
Hi! I’m a hairdresser. My DD too has thick knotty hair. My favorite shampoo and conditioner for her is L’Oréal Elvive. Orange bottle, with a pump. I’m encourage her to use a lot of conditioner.
In the summer months we use a leave in conditioner too (Garnier) before brushing. We get the knots out every night. I’m the morning I rebrush the top and put it in a pony. I don’t both trying to get the knots out all over again. Do not let the knots build up. It can get really crazy where it takes a professional over an hr to get out!!


Thank you, this is helpful.

My daughter is 11 and I feel like I should have graduated from doing her hair. She usually takes care of her own hygiene, but then she doesn’t get the knots out well enough and it turns into a disaster. I need to encourage her to really work at the knots consistently.

How often would you encourage her to wash her hair? I personally wash my thick hair about 3 times a week, since I’ve heard it’s better not to wash too often. This is what my daughters do, as well. Is that making her hair get knottier?
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amother
Forsythia


 

Post Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:51 pm
I find with my girls that when the ends start to split/dies their hair gets much much more tangled and difficult to brush. A small trim makes a huge difference.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Mon, Jun 24 2024, 12:06 am
You can try using Argon oil/Moroccan oil. You just don't put it near the scalp but put it throughout the rest before brushing. Maybe this is already obvious, but when brushing a section, create a separation with your fingers between the scalp and the rest of the hair being brushed. This way the hair isn't pulling on the scalp when brushing. After brushing, put in two or three large braids to sleep so it won't tangle or move around a lot. (Warning, when she removes them in the morning, this will create some waves in the hair if she doesn't already have, but they're pretty mild and to me they look nice.)

Speaking of which, are there any hairstyles in her circles that are age appropriate but use just a couple of braids? Like would it be okay in her circles to wear 2 braids and wrapping the braids around her head like a wreath (you clip it in)? Hairstyles like that can often last a couple of days. She can wear a shower cap when showering and do a dry shampoo spray in the morning.

Obviously, as others have said, making sure she's regularly trimming dead ends is key. But beyond that, aside from cutting it short, keeping hair in tight hairstyles is a huge help.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 24 2024, 12:29 am
Lots of good conditioner, comb with detangling comb when wet, ponytails to keep in in place.
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joonabug




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 24 2024, 4:44 am
I have the same thing and I brush multiple times a day. morning and before and after I shower and again before bed.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Mon, Jun 24 2024, 5:11 am
I prefer conditioner to detangler especially for older kids - it's really much better. After she's out the shower and ready to brush she should conditioner on her hands and put it through her hair and then start brushing.
Some points
- ALWAYS start BRUSHING from the bottom. She should make sure there's conditioner there and then start brushing. She should work her way around the bottom of her hair and slowly move upwards. This will make it much less painful.
- You may need to try a few different conditioners to find the right one
- the right one should leave her hair smooth and a little shiny but it won't look oily.

I recently taught this to a preteen with super thick curly hair and she was soooo happy!!
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 24 2024, 5:23 am
amother OP wrote:
My other dd has thick curly hair and we never, ever brush it when dry. For some reason hers doesn’t get as knotty.

With this dd her hair is so difficult to brush, wet or dry. When we eventually get all the knots out, they just come right back. Her hair also does not stay in a pony well. It’s always falling out. It just looks like a mess.

I have extremely straight sleek hair and no rubber band in the world will stay in place unless I use the real regular rubber band which are intended for office use. Anything else will send up the floor.
Try office rubber band and make a plait.
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amother
Green


 

Post Mon, Jun 24 2024, 5:59 am
Was advised years ago to use pantene conditioner and then brush hair out while the conditioner is still in. Rinse conditioner out after. Something about the really thick conditioners makes the knots come out much easier. No idea why, I'm just happy it works!
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