Baby just falls asleep?

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 7:43 pm

Maybe I need off Instagram and unfollow these sleep accounts and sorry if this is a dumb question, how do people just put their baby down in the crib awake and the baby falls asleep? I normally nurse my 9mo and then rock him until he goes to bed. Don’t want to sleep train. I do a whole routine with bath, lotion, pajamas, books but if I put him down even when pretty sleepy but not asleep he just wakes up and cries. Is the only way to get baby to fall asleep on their own to sleep train? Or does it just happen at a certain age?

amother

Smokey ↓

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 7:58 pm

I think there usually needs to be some form of training your baby to self sooth. Right now when they cry and you pick them up, they are comforted by your presence and aren’t learning how to put themselves to sleep. That being said, not all sleep training needs to use the “cry it out” method. There will likely be some form of crying but you don’t have to let them cry for hours on end each night. I used the book “12 hours sleep by 12 weeks old” and it worked really well for my baby. Best investment of my time ever!

amother

Hyssop ↓

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 7:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

Oy wish I would have known

You could sit somewhere baby can see you and say shhh the first few times but don't touch or hold.

Yes baby will cry but that's the only way unless you want to wait until baby is way older.

amother

↑ Molasses

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 7:58 pm

amother Arcticblue wrote:

Don’t feel bad, you’re showing your baby that you’re there and cuddling and bonding is so yours for both of you

There are many hours to cuddle and bond. You can do that and create good sleeping habits. One has nothing to do with the other.

miami85

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 7:58 pm

It really depends on the baby. I have 6 kids and each one was SO different when it came to sleep. Some were easy, some were more challenging. Some kids need pacifiers to self-soothe, some do not. Some need vibration/swinging/swaddling.

A very big reason why babies do not go down easily is usually some sort of discomfort-as we often say "Something needs to go up, or come out"

amother

Coffee ↓

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 8:16 pm

amother Smokey wrote:

That book is abusive, and not gentle at all.

amother

↑ Coffee ↓

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 8:19 pm

amother OP wrote:

Op, you’re doing great. 9 months old is young and you can nurse or rock to sleep. Your bedtime routine sounds nice as well.

amother

↑ Smokey ↓

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 8:20 pm

amother Coffee wrote:

That book is abusive, and not gentle at all.

How is it abusive? I actually really liked the way it wasn’t leaving the baby to cry for hours and still allows you to comfort them, but does teach them to self sooth.

AlwaysGrateful

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 8:27 pm

amother Molasses wrote:

You needed to start day 1. I do it right away. I put baby down before they show signs of being tired and it creates habits for life.

Eh, I did this with several babies. It helped a bit, but needed to CIO with all of them eventually anyway. And it was very stressful at the beginning.

I still did it, because my first needed to be rocked and rocked and marched up and down the hallway for longer and longer periods of time in order to fall asleep. It was unsustainable. This did help a bit, but it's not the magic cure you're making it out to be.

amother

↑ Coffee ↓

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 8:27 pm

amother Smokey wrote:

How is it abusive? I actually really liked the way it wasn’t leaving the baby to cry for hours and still allows you to comfort them, but does teach them to self sooth.

It’s really outdated and harmful.
Lots of problems with the method.

amother

↑ Coffee ↓

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 8:30 pm

You shouldn’t be stretching out feeds to 4 hours during the day. Thats cruel and harmful to baby and goes against all current medical advice. Baby should be fed on demand when they are hungry, not when the clock says 4 hours.
There is nothing good or natural about having a baby in a crib for 12 hours a day away from their mother.
Babies don’t self soothe at that age they learn they are abandoned.
There are more issues as well, do your research.

amother

↑ Smokey

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 8:35 pm

amother Coffee wrote:

Obviously you need to listen to your babies needs in terms of hunger, but with the sleeping I think that her method of teaching babies to self sooth is solid and specifically using this method shows them that they aren’t abandoned because you can go in to the room to comfort them. And yes, at a certain point babies should be sleeping for 12 hours straight. Her baby is 9 months old, definitely old enough to sleep through the night.

amother

Navyblue

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 8:40 pm

amother Molasses wrote:

You needed to start day 1. I do it right away. I put baby down before they show signs of being tired and it creates habits for life.

Every baby is different
My first literally never ever seemed tired. She went from awake to over tired. I could never catch her at sleepy to put her down. She barely slept until she was a year.

My second slept beautifully from day 1. He would rub his eyes and yawn, I put him down and he fell asleep. Just like in all the books and blogs

So OP don't beat yourself up about this

amother

↑ Coffee ↓

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 9:16 pm

amother Smokey wrote:

A lot of followers of her method stretch feeds to every four hours and are in their cribs for 12 hours at 12 weeks which they aren’t biologically wired to do. The reason people like it is because if your baby is in a crib for 12 hours you just halved a mom’s job. Then you only need to feed once in 4 hours in the 12 hours of day. You basically make a mom’s job much easier at the expense of baby.
It’s cruel and neglectful to baby.
A baby at 12 weeks shouldn’t be trained to sleep for 12 hours without feeds especially a breastfed baby.
The book is also very not breastfeeding friendly and in general is outdated from a medical viewpoint.
Op, if you want gentle methods read Elizabeth Pantley’s book or keep doing what your doing as it sounds great.

amother

Lemonlime ↓

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 9:19 pm

amother Molasses wrote:

You needed to start day 1. I do it right away. I put baby down before they show signs of being tired and it creates habits for life.

This. Good sleep habits start on the first day you come home from the hospital. Bad habits are hard to break and get harder as they get older

amother

Honeydew ↓

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 9:20 pm

[quote="amother Smokey"]Obviously you need to listen to your babies needs in terms of hunger, but with the sleeping I think that her method of teaching babies to self sooth is solid and specifically using this method shows them that they aren’t abandoned because you can go in to the room to comfort them. And yes, at a certain point babies should be sleeping for 12 hours straight. Her baby is 9 months old, definitely old enough to sleep through the night.[/quote
12 hours is not what a baby should be doing or shouldn’t be. Not everyone needs 12 hours straight. Also evehrone wakes up at night! No one sleeps straight through. Just some signal for help and other ppl to back to sleep.

amother

↑ Honeydew ↓

Thu, Aug 01 2024, 9:21 pm

amother Navyblue wrote:

This. It’s temperament dependent. Nothing you are or aren’t doing would cause a bad habit.