Does your 10 yr old lay on you?

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 5:09 pm

10 yr old ds lays down on me whenever I'm on the couch. he literally falls down on me flat. im sensory and it bothers me and I'm wondering if it's age appropriate.

kenz

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 5:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

10 yr old ds lays down on me whenever I'm on the couch. he literally falls down on me flat. im sensory and it bothers me and I'm wondering if it's age appropriate.

Sounds like he’s sensory too. Maybe get him a weighted blanket. Even though he’s laying on you vs under, the blanket might give him the input he’s seeking.

mha3484 ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 5:13 pm

My almost 10 year old likes to put his head on my lap usually when he is getting tired or sometimes sits on my lap but he is getting pretty tall its not so comfortable anymore. Its not that often anymore but I like that he's affectionate its sweet. It will end sooner then you realize.

The throwing himself is a little out there does he have sensory issues?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 5:42 pm

he lays on me all the way. his feet on me, his head on my boob. it's really uncomfortable for me.
he has no known sensory issues.
I dont mind if he wants to sit on my lap, but even when I'm sitting and he wants to sit on me it's a full body experience. his hands thrown over me.
I hug him plenty, many times a day.

↑ mha3484

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 5:44 pm

As they get taller and stronger they often don't realize that they can hurt people. Have you nicely explained to him that its not comfortable for you when he sits that way?

amother

Papaya

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 6:07 pm

To me this is just a boundary issue. It might be age appropriate, but its also appropriate to ask him to stop because it bothers you.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:05 pm

mha3484 wrote:

As they get taller and stronger they often don't realize that they can hurt people. Have you nicely explained to him that its not comfortable for you when he sits that way?

yes, but he's super sensitive and fragile ego. it's not worth it for me to hurt his ego to keep telling him.
and he doesn't listen anyway. Wink

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:06 pm

familyfirst wrote:

Ten is a big boy
Don’t think he should be laying flat across his mothers body

I know. it feels really awkward. maybe I shouldn't be lying down on the couch...

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:10 pm

Sorry don't think it is age appropriate. How about instead of confronting him when you see him walking into the room and you are lying on the couch you sit up right away.

amother

Obsidian

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:30 pm

I don't think it's a big deal that he does that, but if you don't like it, you can tell him openly. That you don't like when he lays on you and if you are lying down and he wants to be on you, can he please ask first so that you can sit up and have him on your lap instead. Or maybe you'll tell him not now but after 5 minutes/you finish reading the article/etc.
You mentioned that he doesn't listen, so maybe this is also a good opportunity to focus on teaching him to respect boundaries in general. When you say the above, you can say it firmly, and if he doesn't listen, you can tell him firmly that he lost privileges to sit on you for the rest of that day.

amother

Burlywood

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:33 pm

Ask yourself this question, since you know your child best. Do you think its sensory? Does the kid need more physical connection and attention?

Can you provide more sensory input like having the child carry heavy stuff, sleep with weighted blanket...?

Does it bother you? so tell him you do one huge squeezy hug and then he has to sit alongside you...

dankbar

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:38 pm

I don't think he should do that, and maybe check it out, where it's coming I n b from, why he us doing it, rather hug him and he can sit/lie next to you but not on top of you. Also it seems like he's lying on top of you face down like In a s-xual position not like he's lying face up like he would sit in your lap but in a lying position

↑ giftedmom ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 11:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

yes, but he's super sensitive and fragile ego. it's not worth it for me to hurt his ego to keep telling him.
and he doesn't listen anyway. Wink

It’s a good opportunity to teach him to respect other people’s boundaries especially physically

↑ giftedmom

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 11:17 pm

dankbar wrote:

I will never forget the look of horror on my mothers face when my brother was laying on me face down. It was purely innocent we were both clueless. He’s a kid. No need to attach meaning where there isn’t.

amother

Aconite

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 11:51 pm

Is it age appropriate that he wants to cuddle with mommy, imo yes. He's still a "baby" as much as we start thinking of double digits as a "big kid" BUT at the same time it is an age where you should be establishing healthy boundaries so when he tries to lay on you maybe say something like "come tzaddik, Ill sit up and you cuddle next to me (sitting side by side) and let's read a book together or talk about your day etc," so he's not on your chest/overly on top of you but still feeling u close by. Hopefully he is more receptive since it isn't just saying "get off, go away" and ur still giving him some of that closeness he's seeking.

thegiver

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 12:10 am

Yes. I also hate it. I think boys need touch a lot! I am very specific with the kind of touch I allow.