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Seeking personal chizuk



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amother
OP  


 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2024, 12:37 pm
This topic has been brought up many diff times, but I'm seeking more personal chizuk/advice.

I personally find using my galaxy phone definitely helpful with juggling all kinds of stuff/challenges in my family, marriage, kids....(I have very little support, if any- marriage wise), juggling appnts, emails, to do lists, Google maps helps with places to go, and access to files that I need....etc.
But I found it very pulling and taking me away from my responsibilities. So I deleted whatever I was able to, mainly using strictly for necessity.
But still ...

I have tried switching over to a fig flip, where it easier to use, and found myself more present. That's good. However, it's quite hard for me not to have access to other files, in my situation- where I'm the one making most- if not all decisions in my household.

Anyone out there in a similar situation who can offer chizzuk/ advice?
Pls only offer input if you can relate, thank you
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amother
Oak


 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2024, 2:24 pm
I hear you. I remember Mary Abadi talking on the Nekadesh program about apps like email, a camera with video, and Waze and I thought, hm, I have a kosher phone that does this and more. Useful but distracting?
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2024, 4:13 pm
amother Oak wrote:
I hear you. I remember Mary Abadi talking on the Nekadesh program about apps like email, a camera with video, and Waze and I thought, hm, I have a kosher phone that does this and more. Useful but distracting?


True
And there's no perfection in an imperfect world.


But nevertheless I wonder if anyone can relate to this struggle of wanting to do better, but not sure if I can, particularly in this area.
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amother
Tan  


 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2024, 5:55 pm
I can totally relate and to add to it my corporate job requires me to have several apps as well so I can't fully switch to flip even if I wanted to.


I recently made a change that's been a huge benefit to my life and my family and if there's any practical piece you can take from it and make your own then I'll share my new set up. I decided to get a flip phone with just call and text and have all my calls forward from the main smartphone to the flip and got a stronger filter. When I am out and about with the kids or even out of my room hanging with them on the couch I just have the flip. That way if someone needs to reach me they do, but I am not glued to it like I really was with my smartphone on me all the time. I feel like I am able to be more mindful and embrace the moment. That said, I still have my filtered smartphone to handle work, email, medical appointments and all the shopping apps but I do it now either when kids are at school or asleep and not while I'm spending time with them. It's a challenge and I'm still getting used to it but I feel lighter BH. My husband noticed I am much more patient with the kids which was something I struggle with. If you can gain any ideas from this go ahead and if it doesn't fit your situation leave it.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2024, 6:33 pm
amother Tan wrote:
I can totally relate and to add to it my corporate job requires me to have several apps as well so I can't fully switch to flip even if I wanted to.


I recently made a change that's been a huge benefit to my life and my family and if there's any practical piece you can take from it and make your own then I'll share my new set up. I decided to get a flip phone with just call and text and have all my calls forward from the main smartphone to the flip and got a stronger filter. When I am out and about with the kids or even out of my room hanging with them on the couch I just have the flip. That way if someone needs to reach me they do, but I am not glued to it like I really was with my smartphone on me all the time. I feel like I am able to be more mindful and embrace the moment. That said, I still have my filtered smartphone to handle work, email, medical appointments and all the shopping apps but I do it now either when kids are at school or asleep and not while I'm spending time with them. It's a challenge and I'm still getting used to it but I feel lighter BH. My husband noticed I am much more patient with the kids which was something I struggle with. If you can gain any ideas from this go ahead and if it doesn't fit your situation leave it.


Thank you so much for this!

So to understand better, when you say you forward your calls, does that mean you have 2 lines? (Phone numbers?)
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amother
  Tan  


 

Post Tue, Sep 10 2024, 7:47 am
amother OP wrote:
Thank you so much for this!

So to understand better, when you say you forward your calls, does that mean you have 2 lines? (Phone numbers?)



Yes. My smartphone is the number in the phonebook so I felt like I couldn't switch it. The smart phone sends all calls to the flip phone
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amother
  OP


 

Post Tue, Sep 10 2024, 9:52 am
amother Tan wrote:
Yes. My smartphone is the number in the phonebook so I felt like I couldn't switch it. The smart phone sends all calls to the flip phone


So you pay 2 lines, and carry around 2 phones when needed?
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amother
  Tan  


 

Post Tue, Sep 10 2024, 10:06 am
amother OP wrote:
So you pay 2 lines, and carry around 2 phones when needed?


Out of the house I only carry around flip phone bc I work at home. I do pay two lines but the flip phone from tag is literally $60 a year and for me that was worth it for the upgrade in sanity.
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amother
Winterberry


 

Post Tue, Sep 10 2024, 10:31 am
amother Tan wrote:
I can totally relate and to add to it my corporate job requires me to have several apps as well so I can't fully switch to flip even if I wanted to.


I recently made a change that's been a huge benefit to my life and my family and if there's any practical piece you can take from it and make your own then I'll share my new set up. I decided to get a flip phone with just call and text and have all my calls forward from the main smartphone to the flip and got a stronger filter. When I am out and about with the kids or even out of my room hanging with them on the couch I just have the flip. That way if someone needs to reach me they do, but I am not glued to it like I really was with my smartphone on me all the time. I feel like I am able to be more mindful and embrace the moment. That said, I still have my filtered smartphone to handle work, email, medical appointments and all the shopping apps but I do it now either when kids are at school or asleep and not while I'm spending time with them. It's a challenge and I'm still getting used to it but I feel lighter BH. My husband noticed I am much more patient with the kids which was something I struggle with. If you can gain any ideas from this go ahead and if it doesn't fit your situation leave it.


Good idea!
Just wondering how you come on here… only when your kids are out? With a desktop? Your smartphone?
Are your kids young?
I’m trying to figure out how it could work for me…. My kids never go to sleep/ teens
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amother
  Tan


 

Post Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:40 pm
On my smartphone when not around kids. Mine are little so they do go to sleep.

With big kids I wonder if you can just set a limit. Like I am going to use the phone from 9-9:45 every evening to check email, appointments, and order groceries. Then even if kids are up, they know you are using it for a limited short time and limited purpose. And it's consistent.
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amother
Watermelon


 

Post Tue, Sep 10 2024, 6:25 pm
amother OP wrote:
True
And there's no perfection in an imperfect world.


But nevertheless I wonder if anyone can relate to this struggle of wanting to do better, but not sure if I can, particularly in this area.


I’m totally with you and understand you completely. No solution here but I know what you mean. For someone who is very organized and uses the organization features on a smart phone it is very very hard to let go. I go over this dilemma in my head daily!
I live in a frum , main stream, bal habatish community and many people in my circles have smart phones. I imagine that if I lived in Lakewood in a yeshivish circle it would be much easier for me to switch … peer pressure works wonder. But that’s not where I am and I don’t want to live there. I wish it was easier.
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