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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
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 Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:08 pm
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He’s already gotten sent out of class, had recess reduced and been threatened with detention. He doesn’t stop calling out, making comments/jokes bothering kids. I feel so bad that he’s starting out so negatively. He tells me that it’s really hard to control himself I suspect he’s bored? He’s the type that needs constant stimulation. Any ideas? I tried taking to him and he says he’ll try harder but every day it’s the same story. He’s 9.
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mha3484
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:09 pm
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I have multiple boys with that issue its ADHD and meds have helped a ton.
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amother
Strawberry
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:17 pm
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If he's saying he can't, listen to him. Take him for a proper evaluation. It may be ADHD or anxiety. Let him get the help he needs.
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amother
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:43 pm
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Is there a point? If meds is the only answer I’m not sure I’m ready to explore that just yet.
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amother
Silver
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:44 pm
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You can also try therapy to learn tools for impulse control and redirecting urges.
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mha3484
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:47 pm
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Honestly at 9 with the amount of punishment he is getting your asking for him to really develop a poor image of himself that will take years to undo. You can work with his teachers to be less punitive and to signal to him when its getting out of hand. But if he really cant control himself either because of ADHD or he's gifted punishments don't change your brain chemistry.
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notshanarishona
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:48 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Is there a point? If meds is the only answer I’m not sure I’m ready to explore that just yet. |
Meds isn’t the only answer, but it may be a very good idea and make the difference for him of surviving school without trauma.
An iep can help him get services depending on where you live.
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amother
Hotpink
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 6:44 pm
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You're going down a dangerous road if he doesn't get help, which starts with an evaluation. It's a huge burden for a child to live with the knowledge that his teachers and classmates are always annoyed with him because of his impulsivity.
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amother
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 10:16 pm
| amother Hotpink wrote: | | You're going down a dangerous road if he doesn't get help, which starts with an evaluation. It's a huge burden for a child to live with the knowledge that his teachers and classmates are always annoyed with him because of his impulsivity. |
For sure. But why is medication what is jumped to? Is there nothing else to try first?
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simcha2
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 10:22 pm
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Is the school only dealing with him with punitive measures? Or are they working to support him?
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amother
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 10:23 pm
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Is this going on the whole day? All teachers? Was this always the case? Worth exploring exactly what's going on. If it's not consistent by all teachers than meds are not the solution. Maybe that teacher is not an amazing shidduch for said child. Can the child have a behavior mod program? Can he be sent on errands or given responsibilities in school that will get him out of class for breaks or at least give him some movement out of his desk? Are all his needs being met during school-food drink bathroom?? Please try to assess full situation and see how issue can be minimized with minimal punishment
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amother
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 10:26 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | For sure. But why is medication what is jumped to? Is there nothing else to try first? |
Because it is the easiest solution for the schools whichare overloaded eith to many students sitting for too many hours with curriculums that are not age appropriate and inexperienced teachers. It is much easier to have zombies sitting in desks and have folks get meds adjusted when ever child no longer conforms to expectations that helping each individual child thrive in their own way.
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amother
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 10:53 pm
| amother Birch wrote: | | Because it is the easiest solution for the schools whichare overloaded eith to many students sitting for too many hours with curriculums that are not age appropriate and inexperienced teachers. It is much easier to have zombies sitting in desks and have folks get meds adjusted when ever child no longer conforms to expectations that helping each individual child thrive in their own way. |
This is my feeling.
I am not looking forward to fighting with them.
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amother
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 10:57 pm
| amother OP wrote: | This is my feeling.
I am not looking forward to fighting with them. |
Get your gear ready. Parents need to play devils advocate. If not us nobody will be there for our kids!
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amother
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Tue, Sep 10 2024, 11:04 pm
| amother Birch wrote: | | Get your gear ready. Parents need to play devils advocate. If not us nobody will be there for our kids! |
I could really use some tips. It’s so overwhelming
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