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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
amother
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:34 am
My oldest just started working... shes earning about $800 a week and we distributed the money as follows... Im just wondering what others do...
$80 Masser
$30 Spending money
$500 towards her wedding iy"h
$25 IRA account (my husband likes to train them early on that)
$165 her daily expenses - mostly clothing which she needs a lot of now....
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amother
Antiquewhite
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:36 am
When I was a girl I gave my full paycheck to my parents that they gave back after my wedding.
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amother
Leaf
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:38 am
I don't and wouldn't. I would let them learn to do exactly that but of their own will & discipline.
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scruffy
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:39 am
Shouldn't she decide how it gets split? She can consult with you if she wants to.
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amother
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:39 am
It’s hers. She should decide.
Never heard of parents dividing their child’s paycheck up.
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amother
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:40 am
OP here...
I wonder if the responses ive gotten is from people in the chassidish circles...
Why does her father have to bleed when marrying her off for $100k????
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amother
Glitter
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:41 am
amother OP wrote: | OP here...
I wonder if the responses ive gotten is from people in the chassidish circles...
Why does her father have to bleed when marrying her off for $100k???? |
I’m chasidish and I paid for my wedding and all its expenses. I plan on my dd’s helping out with wedding expenses as well.
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amother
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:42 am
amother Glitter wrote: | I’m chasidish and I paid for my wedding and all its expenses. I plan on my dd’s helping out with wedding expenses as well. |
THANK YOU!!!!! I knew its an accepted thing in the chassidish circles...
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Chayalle
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:42 am
When my girls were old enough to work, they were old enough to decide for themselves how to allocate their money.
We considered it our job to marry them off, though we did it for alot less than 100K.
Not Chassidish.
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amother
Obsidian
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:43 am
I don’t mean to nitpick but it’s important
‘working girl’ is a well known euphemism for a harlot
Better and more accurate to say ‘girl who has started working’ or ‘girl who started her first job’
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amother
Aconite
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:43 am
Wow what does she do that she’s getting $800 a week? I like your breakdown a lot. I think it makes sense
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amother
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:46 am
amother Obsidian wrote: | I don’t mean to nitpick but it’s important
‘working girl’ is a well known euphemism for a harlot
Better and more accurate to say ‘girl who has started working’ or ‘girl who started her first job’ |
Working girl has two definitions. Google it.
The way op used it is perfectly fine.
DATED•INFORMAL
a woman who goes out to work rather than remaining at home.
EUPHEMISTIC
a female relations worker.
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amother
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:47 am
Im not Chasdidush and this is just my opinion
$80 Masser
$300 towards her wedding iy"h
$420 for her to choose what to spend on
Just MHO
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amother
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:47 am
amother OP wrote: | OP here...
I wonder if the responses ive gotten is from people in the chassidish circles...
Why does her father have to bleed when marrying her off for $100k???? |
I'm chassidish & my paycheck went in to savings. I used a bit for pocket money.
My parents married off 5 girls kh & didn't take a penny from us. They thought that it's more important to get married with savings. But they don't make a 100K wedding either & they've been saving for weddings for many years.
I open a wedding fund for each of my kids right when they're born.
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shabbatiscoming
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:47 am
amother OP wrote: | OP here...
I wonder if the responses ive gotten is from people in the chassidish circles...
Why does her father have to bleed when marrying her off for $100k???? | You never mentioned you were chassidish, so how was anyone to know?
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amother
Trillium
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:47 am
While it is up to her how to spend her money you can give her a minimum to put towards her wedding. Some families charge adult children "rent" which can go to household expenses. So the same thing can be done with a wedding fund but I wouldn't do both if you are asking for so much for wedding fund.
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amother
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:48 am
amother OP wrote: | THANK YOU!!!!! I knew its an accepted thing in the chassidish circles... |
I actually think it's the exception rather than the rule.
You shouldn't be making a 100K wedding you can't afford.
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amother
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:52 am
I paid for my car. Gas. Tolls. If I wanted to go out with friends. Make a splurge purchase
401k
My parents covered most of my expenses and wedding.
I got married with a down payment for a house and owned a car. It was amazing.
Not chassidish.
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Chayalle
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Wed, Sep 11 2024, 9:53 am
amother Lily wrote: | I'm chassidish & my paycheck went in to savings. I used a bit for pocket money.
My parents married off 5 girls kh & didn't take a penny from us. They thought that it's more important to get married with savings. But they don't make a 100K wedding either & they've been saving for weddings for many years.
I open a wedding fund for each of my kids right when they're born. |
I'm not Chassidish but I'm very like your parents in this.
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