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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
PSA: Tuition before all the tzedaka causes please!!
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Where do you prioritize your maaser?
School Scholarship fund  
 2%  [ 2 ]
Mikva/Shul/tzedaka of choice   
 41%  [ 33 ]
We use maaser for tuition  
 55%  [ 44 ]
Total Votes : 79



amother
OP  


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 5:49 am
Please hear me out -

We’re paying tons towards tuition full with no breaks.

This month has been getting back to school, yomtov coming up, shul dues, fees etc… I’m sure you all have a list.

Schools don’t have the ability to give breaks and we’re all dealing with financial stress- prices groceries through the roof!!


If you are in the position to give extra tzedaka please please give towards the scholarship funds every community rabbi is inundated with requests for help.

Our children come first let’s give to the local causes first
(Tzedaka first to our own family then our communities)

Tzku lmitzvos!!!!!
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amother
Midnight


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 7:50 am
Can you please tell that to all of the Meshulachim that come to my door and want more than the $20 I can offer them??? Which BTW $20 is super generous considering that I most likely don't know them (we've had people come collecting that we know, those are a totally different category and we give accordingly), and sometimes we can have more than 4 people coming to collect in one-night alone.

I live in a US state with vouchers. So BH my kids tuition is paid in full, partly by me and partly by the government. But even with the government help that not all of my kids qualify for, tuition is still expensive, very expensive. But it's the most important bill we pay. Oh and also my Healthcare bills are nothing to sneeze at thank you very much since we don't qualify for Medicaid BH. And I have some outstanding bills that are being paid off.

Yes, in the past DH had given more generously. But the economy being what it is and inflation greatly impacting our bills when salaries aren't going up at the same rate, has impacted our ability to give. So please people stop making us feel guilty about it!!!!

Okay rant over. Sorry just dealing with a lot of people coming to my door collecting lately. And please don't tell me not to answer the door, I have a lot of people who come and go through my house for legitimate reasons (kids friends, neighbors borrowing things exc).
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 7:55 am
amother Midnight wrote:
Can you please tell that to all of the Meshulachim that come to my door and want more than the $20 I can offer them??? Which BTW $20 is super generous considering that I most likely don't know them (we've had people come collecting that we know, those are a totally different category and we give accordingly), and sometimes we can have more than 4 people coming to collect in one-night alone.

I live in a US state with vouchers. So BH my kids tuition is paid in full, partly by me and partly by the government. But even with the government help that not all of my kids qualify for, tuition is still expensive, very expensive. But it's the most important bill we pay. Oh and also my Healthcare bills are nothing to sneeze at thank you very much since we don't qualify for Medicaid BH. And I have some outstanding bills that are being paid off.

Yes, in the past DH had given more generously. But the economy being what it is and inflation greatly impacting our bills when salaries aren't going up at the same rate, has impacted our ability to give. So please people stop making us feel guilty about it!!!!

Okay rant over. Sorry just dealing with a lot of people coming to my door collecting lately. And please don't tell me not to answer the door, I have a lot of people who come and go through my house for legitimate reasons (kids friends, neighbors borrowing things exc).


Totally totally agree!
We give our family first and pay tuition that’s where our priorities are!!!
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 7:56 am
amother Midnight wrote:
Can you please tell that to all of the Meshulachim that come to my door and want more than the $20 I can offer them??? Which BTW $20 is super generous considering that I most likely don't know them (we've had people come collecting that we know, those are a totally different category and we give accordingly), and sometimes we can have more than 4 people coming to collect in one-night alone.

I live in a US state with vouchers. So BH my kids tuition is paid in full, partly by me and partly by the government. But even with the government help that not all of my kids qualify for, tuition is still expensive, very expensive. But it's the most important bill we pay. Oh and also my Healthcare bills are nothing to sneeze at thank you very much since we don't qualify for Medicaid BH. And I have some outstanding bills that are being paid off.

Yes, in the past DH had given more generously. But the economy being what it is and inflation greatly impacting our bills when salaries aren't going up at the same rate, has impacted our ability to give. So please people stop making us feel guilty about it!!!!

Okay rant over. Sorry just dealing with a lot of people coming to my door collecting lately. And please don't tell me not to answer the door, I have a lot of people who come and go through my house for legitimate reasons (kids friends, neighbors borrowing things exc).


You're generous, $20 at the door....

I have a lot of tzdekah obligations, part of my tuition, local tzedakos like mikva, shul and town's TS. And family comes first. I have prepaid vouchers for $2/3 for meshulachim at the door.
They've never refused it, but think they have lists of those they hope can give more, seems I'm not on the list!
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amother
Impatiens


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 7:58 am
I can't give more than $2 at the door
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amother
Burlywood  


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 8:47 am
As a community we really need to prioritize our spending.
It isn't unlimited. Yes, donors may have special projects they feel connected to but as we are so interconnected we should figure out as a society what is a priority.

I would start with basic needs: food, jobs.
Do we have anyone who can be a "job shadchan"? Does Tomchei have enough money to provide basic food to everyone who is desperate enough to ask?

As someone who has gotten tomchei before- the boxes were basics. No steaks or tons of nosh. Once the boxes can give basics out, what else should we prioritize?

Cut out fancy buildings, perfectly manicured landscaping, and other obvious extras. You can have nice, sturdy, not falling apart buildings and decent yards without being extravagant and updated fancy light fixtures. Whether for shuls, schools, or community organizations. If tzeddakah funds it - we don't need fancy designer rooms!

Just as important as prioritizing where we spend:
Anything on the priority list should also have to make themselves accountable to the community. If we prioritize you- you need to be open with us. How is the money being spent? What are the salaries to the administration? What are extras that are unnecessary?
For instance- kids need a safe place to learn, books, a yard, teachers... but do you need to have huge packets of fuzzy pictures sent home each week where if you squint you can see little Racheli coloring? My kids school switched to all digital. Saves staff time (no printing, stapling, handing it out), saves money (no paper, ink etc) and is higher quality - fully color! What else can be done differently so it saves money and resources?
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amother
Caramel  


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 9:08 am
amother OP wrote:
Please hear me out -

We’re paying tons towards tuition full with no breaks.

This month has been getting back to school, yomtov coming up, shul dues, fees etc… I’m sure you all have a list.

Schools don’t have the ability to give breaks and we’re all dealing with financial stress- prices groceries through the roof!!


If you are in the position to give tzedaka please please give towards the scholarship funds every community rabbi is inundated with requests for help.

Our children come first let’s give to the local causes first
(Tzedaka first to our own family then our communities)

Tzku lmitzvos!!!!!


There are many local community organizations that are imo more important than schools.
Back to top

Molly Weasley  




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 9:09 am
amother Burlywood wrote:
As a community we really need to prioritize our spending.
It isn't unlimited. Yes, donors may have special projects they feel connected to but as we are so interconnected we should figure out as a society what is a priority.

I would start with basic needs: food, jobs.
Do we have anyone who can be a "job shadchan"? Does Tomchei have enough money to provide basic food to everyone who is desperate enough to ask?

As someone who has gotten tomchei before- the boxes were basics. No steaks or tons of nosh. Once the boxes can give basics out, what else should we prioritize?

Cut out fancy buildings, perfectly manicured landscaping, and other obvious extras. You can have nice, sturdy, not falling apart buildings and decent yards without being extravagant and updated fancy light fixtures. Whether for shuls, schools, or community organizations. If tzeddakah funds it - we don't need fancy designer rooms!

Just as important as prioritizing where we spend:
Anything on the priority list should also have to make themselves accountable to the community. If we prioritize you- you need to be open with us. How is the money being spent? What are the salaries to the administration? What are extras that are unnecessary?
For instance- kids need a safe place to learn, books, a yard, teachers... but do you need to have huge packets of fuzzy pictures sent home each week where if you squint you can see little Racheli coloring? My kids school switched to all digital. Saves staff time (no printing, stapling, handing it out), saves money (no paper, ink etc) and is higher quality - fully color! What else can be done differently so it saves money and resources?


Its hard to expect our local institutions to be the ones to defy convention.
When the general population cuts back on their lifestyle spending, we can definitely force the institutions to do the same.
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  Molly Weasley  




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 9:10 am
amother Caramel wrote:
There are many local community organizations that are imo more important then schools.


Unless it's something as basic as tomcahi shabbos or a mikvah, nothing else really comes close.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 9:37 am
Molly Weasley wrote:
Unless it's something as basic as tomcahi shabbos or a mikvah, nothing else really comes close.

A million percent!
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amother
  Burlywood  


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 9:52 am
Molly Weasley wrote:
Its hard to expect our local institutions to be the ones to defy convention.
When the general population cuts back on their lifestyle spending, we can definitely force the institutions to do the same.


Except anyone asking for tzeddakah should be cutting back expenses and lifestyle. When I got Tomchei boxes my shoes had holes in them.
So schools and other institutions should be cutting back as well. Especially if they want "priority" status.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 9:53 am
I think people need food and medical care and housing before tuition.
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amother
Whitewash  


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 9:56 am
Molly Weasley wrote:
Unless it's something as basic as tomcahi shabbos or a mikvah, nothing else really comes close.

Medical funding is much more important. If there's no life we don't need schools.
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amother
  Whitewash


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 9:57 am
amother Amber wrote:
I think people need food and medical care and housing before tuition.

Agree.
You can homeschool but only if you're not homeless.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 10:01 am
amother Amber wrote:
I think people need food and medical care and housing before tuition.

Of course not a question

This is about giving to your school before other causes!
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  Molly Weasley  




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 10:01 am
amother Burlywood wrote:
Except anyone asking for tzeddakah should be cutting back expenses and lifestyle. When I got Tomchei boxes my shoes had holes in them.
So schools and other institutions should be cutting back as well. Especially if they want "priority" status.


I'm referring to the institutions themselves. It's hard to expect the school to appear run-down according to community standards.
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amother
Lightpink


 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 10:06 am
amother OP wrote:
Of course not a question

This is about giving to your school before other causes!


So I think the other poster said those causes she mentioned should come first. And you agree while saying that bo, tuition should come first. You can't have it both ways.
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  Molly Weasley  




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 10:08 am
amother Whitewash wrote:
Medical funding is much more important. If there's no life we don't need schools.


How do you define medical funding? If they're covered by medicaid, why should their needs take precedence?

Unless it's sekanas nefashas, torah learning takes precedence.
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  Molly Weasley  




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 10:10 am
amother Whitewash wrote:
Agree.
You can homeschool but only if you're not homeless.


Homeschooling, especially for boys, is not ideal.
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Aurora




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 13 2024, 10:11 am
Molly Weasley wrote:
Homeschooling, especially for boys, is not ideal.


Why especially for boys?
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