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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
My kids lack of manners



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amother
OP  


 

Post Sun, Sep 29 2024, 11:58 am
I love my kids dearly but I have 3/4 kids with AuDHD. The youngest is still young enough that most of his behavior is excused by his age.
My other two have really bad manners to the point of being gross. They touch food with their hands, take impolite amounts, eat in an unpleasant manner. They also struggle with personal space a lot.
It's really hard because I have been trying for years to help them in these areas and they are still not able to eat politely at a table or around people.
I am extremely social and shabbos and Yom tov in our community is a time where people eat at others' but no one wants us and very few people will eat here because of my childrens habits.
Their off comments or wild behavior are tolerable it seems but most people including my own siblings and parents cannot handle eating with them.
It's really lonely and depressing.
Anyone have any support or tips for this?
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 29 2024, 12:30 pm
Why don't you serve them instead of them helping themselves?
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amother
Antiquewhite


 

Post Sun, Sep 29 2024, 1:01 pm
Feed them thoroughly at home before the meal and take books/toys with when you eat out. Explain to your hosts that these kids struggle with company manners and this is for everyone's benefit.
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amother
  OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 29 2024, 5:22 pm
At this point I will only go to people who know my kids' issues. Of course I serve them and bring toys (when appropriate), but that doesn't stop them from taking, touching, eating in a gross way and touching people, standing too close etc.
They have all the therapies but this is an ongoing. Issue.
People are understanding about them saying weird things. Many people are ok with rambunctious kids. But the disgust in their face and comments on how my kids are eating is obvious. I understand them I just wish I could do something about all of this.
I'm a very social, polite, and in tune person. I'm not going to lie, this is all so painful for me.
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