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Paying Babysitter in Tishrei WWYD
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Wed, Oct 02 2024, 1:27 pm
Not exactly the same situation but I'm a playgroup morah for many years. I once had to stop babysitting one of my the children in my group(many reasons that I don't want to start explaining). I asked a rav how much I had to give back(she had paid me for the month) and we basically calculated an hourly price for the month of September.
I definitely think you should ask a rav. You can still be mochel the money but if she's stopping in January, I don't think it makes sense to pay for all off days.

Otoh if she had announced in January, I'm stopping my group, would you have asked her for your money back for October?
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amother
Feverfew


 

Post Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:10 pm
I'm not sure if this is different because it's playgroup age but I am sending my son to a playgroup only for September and October and I have to pay full for both months even though I am only getting 11 days in October.
I had no choice because I work but I guess the mum of the kid who will be taking his spot after succos is lucky that she missed out on paying October.
My son starts cheder in November...
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amother
Heather  


 

Post Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:23 pm
amother Gladiolus wrote:
I think if you aren’t paying her you should leave.
While she is not continuing I don’t think you can just stop paying her the months you are sending at the rate you agreed.

I think you have leeway to leave.

I don’t think you have leeway to pay less.


I agree with this
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amother
  Slateblue  


 

Post Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:28 pm
amother OP wrote:
Thanks all for your responses.
I think the matter is closed for now.

I sent her a text explaining the contract situation and she basically replied that the she charges monthly and never said it was a yearly fee. Also we had discussed beforehand that she may be moving and her location would move with her. But most of all it sounded like she REALLY didn’t want to speak to a rav.

It is true that we discussed the location moving and potentially not working for me, but the decision would be on me if I want to drive my daughter there or not. We definitely did not discuss ending with no option of continuing somewhere else.

Either way, I just sent the money and will be mochel it. I just hate confrontation so much and have a hard time talking money with ppl. Feel bad because my husband strongly feels we shouldn’t be paying.
Gosh love the erev rosh hashana drama
That’s really frustrating. I absolutely think she’s in the wrong. But it may not be worth the aggravation of trying to get her to listen to a rav.

You tried and if your husband wants to revisit the issue after RH then he can bring it up on his own.
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amother
  Slateblue


 

Post Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:29 pm
amother Feverfew wrote:
I'm not sure if this is different because it's playgroup age but I am sending my son to a playgroup only for September and October and I have to pay full for both months even though I am only getting 11 days in October.
I had no choice because I work but I guess the mum of the kid who will be taking his spot after succos is lucky that she missed out on paying October.
My son starts cheder in November...
That’s different because you agreed to those terms in advance. Op didn’t. It’s a huge problem when people decide to change the terms after the fact and don’t acknowledge the burden they’re putting on others.
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Wed, Oct 02 2024, 3:26 pm
I don't know where the idea came that the fee is an annual rate divided. It's a monthly fee. Op, you agreed to it and I don't see a basis for not paying now just because you don't want to, but it's for sure a halachic shaila and you probably don't want to go into the new year with a woman thinking she's not going to get paid money she was expecting.
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amother
Lily


 

Post Wed, Oct 02 2024, 5:45 pm
You are talking about changing the rate from a monthly rate to an hourly rate. Months like December will be more then the monthly rate. Take that into account.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Sat, Oct 05 2024, 6:56 pm
OP I would have sent it and told her, "I am paying you what you insist and I am not moichel you breaking the contract. Have a good year."
You are a very nice lady to be moichel it (if you have actually managed to do that with a full heart).
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amother
  Heather


 

Post Sat, Oct 05 2024, 8:50 pm
amother Ecru wrote:
OP I would have sent it and told her, "I am paying you what you insist and I am not moichel you breaking the contract. Have a good year."
You are a very nice lady to be moichel it (if you have actually managed to do that with a full heart).

Um, we’re not 2 years old.
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Sat, Oct 05 2024, 8:57 pm
You should decide whether you want to remain with her until she decides to move or close up her business or find another situation now. It sounds like it might not be dependable to stay. However, I would personally be concerned about having broyges with someone over money and then leaving my child there. I’m so sorry that money is tight and I bentch you for a year of good parnassah and chaim tovim.
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amother
Jasmine


 

Post Sat, Oct 05 2024, 9:56 pm
amother Ecru wrote:
OP I would have sent it and told her, "I am paying you what you insist and I am not moichel you breaking the contract. Have a good year."
You are a very nice lady to be moichel it (if you have actually managed to do that with a full heart).


I would not say this to the woman watching my baby.
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amother
  Hibiscus


 

Post Sat, Oct 05 2024, 10:23 pm
amother Lily wrote:
You are talking about changing the rate from a monthly rate to an hourly rate. Months like December will be more then the monthly rate. Take that into account.


Most often it’s an annual rate divided into 10 months
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Sat, Oct 05 2024, 11:31 pm
I think you have to take your husband into account more, and because of that, ask a rav
(While keeping the repercussions re babysitter being happy/ unhappy in mind)
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