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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
amother
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 1:28 pm
My daughter wants to daven in shul and I really can’t justify spending $200 for her to get a seat. We are already way over our budget for this month. I understand shuls need to make money but I don’t think it should be done for seats. Charge to go to kiddushim or get aliyos or other kibbudim. Just feeling sad.
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teachkids
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 1:32 pm
Most shuls will work with you if you can’t afford it
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amother
Cornsilk
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 1:51 pm
It's a fundraiser. And the privilege of having a reserved seat for a special davening. I wish my girls wanted to daven in shul, they find it difficult to concentrate. I love rosh hashana davening in shul. Since I am 11.
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amother
Mintcream
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:01 pm
Op I totally hear you and have felt the same way but then I started viewing it as a membership fee . It’s the only money they ask of congregants all year that’s not considered optional if you would like to be guaranteed a seat and my shul will allow us to pay up slowly …. Would that be an option ?
Another option is to see if you know anyone personally on the seating chart and find out if their seat will be available for a tefillah and perhaps your daughter can take that opportunity
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amother
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:03 pm
Most people come and go, she can move around the shul as long as she gets up when she sees the person come whose seat she is in.
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amother
Moccasin
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:08 pm
amother OP wrote: | My daughter wants to daven in shul and I really can’t justify spending $200 for her to get a seat. We are already way over our budget for this month. I understand shuls need to make money but I don’t think it should be done for seats. Charge to go to kiddushim or get aliyos or other kibbudim. Just feeling sad. |
When you figure out much cheaper it would be for shuls to not have an ezras noshim or a smaller one (building and utility costs through the year) I doubt they are making any money off her. If shuls would auction off aliyahs every week or change to attend kiddushim no one would daven there or make simchos there . Most shuls do charge the ones making the simcha themselves
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amother
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:11 pm
amother Slategray wrote: | Most people come and go, she can move around the shul as long as she gets up when she sees the person come whose seat she is in. |
As the daughter of the rav of a shul, the money is used to pay for shul expenses throughout the year. Running a shul is generally not a money maker. I personally think its not nice to use someone elses seat and not pay. If you cant pay, ask for a payment plan to pay when you can but coming and using a seat (even if its someone elses) its disrespectful and not understanding what the money is used and needed for. Just saying from the other side of the table. Good yom tov all!
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amother
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:13 pm
amother Charcoal wrote: | As the daughter of the rav of a shul, the money is used to pay for shul expenses throughout the year. Running a shul is generally not a money maker. I personally think its not nice to use someone elses seat and not pay. If you cant pay, ask for a payment plan to pay when you can but coming and using a seat (even if its someone elses) its disrespectful and not understanding what the money is used and needed for. Just saying from the other side of the table. Good yom tov all! |
I don’t agree. Some people can’t pay or can’t pay for enough seats and I don’t think they should be prevented from davening on yom tov.
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amother
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:16 pm
amother Slategray wrote: | I don’t agree. Some people can’t pay or can’t pay for enough seats and I don’t think they should be prevented from davening on yom tov. |
So who should be covering shul expenses if not people who actually use the shul? The people who cant pay should make a payment plan and pay throughout the year. The same way you buy new clothes, you renew your ability to benefit from the shul. For some reason people think that they can jump seats and get away with paying so they do.
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amother
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:19 pm
amother Charcoal wrote: | So who should be covering shul expenses if not people who actually use the shul? The people who cant pay should make a payment plan and pay throughout the year. The same way you buy new clothes, you renew your ability to benefit from the shul. For some reason people think that they can jump seats and get away with paying so they do. |
Most people pay. Her one daughter won’t make or break it. This is not called getting away with it, this is a young girl who wants to daven and can’t because her parents can’t afford it. This is the place to not be so stuck on your rules. It’s really no big deal if a young girl doesn’t have a paid seat.
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amother
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:20 pm
amother Charcoal wrote: | So who should be covering shul expenses if not people who actually use the shul? The people who cant pay should make a payment plan and pay throughout the year. The same way you buy new clothes, you renew your ability to benefit from the shul. For some reason people think that they can jump seats and get away with paying so they do. |
And also make it more affordable. $200 in today’s economy is not ok. Have a shul membership paid over months don’t nickel and dime each family member rosh hashana time.
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amother
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:20 pm
amother Slategray wrote: | Most people pay. Her one daughter won’t make or break it. This is not called getting away with it, this is a young girl who wants to daven and can’t because her parents can’t afford it. This is the place to not be so stuck on your rules. It’s really no big deal if a young girl doesn’t have a paid seat. |
See, thats the logic everyone uses.... most people pay. Youd be surprised. It adds up quickly with a lot of people using this reasoning.
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amother
Oak
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:22 pm
My husband is the president of our shul. Every dollar goes toward maintaining the shul and paying the few salaries of the staff. I would consider your payment as charity honestly. And that being said, and knowing how tight the shul finances are, I still think that my husband would rather get a large crowd for the davening as opposed to people staying home because they didn’t buy seats.
P.S. we always set up extra seats in the back that are not reserved.
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amother
Magnolia
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:23 pm
In my country it's mostly free.
I don't need my name on a seat.
Perhaps ten percent are with a name in my shul? Unsure. And it's NOT 200. Especially if you pay taxes, a lot is covered. Like two thirds. But even then, it is more like 50 to 80. If you wish to get your seat.
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amother
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:23 pm
amother Charcoal wrote: | See, thats the logic everyone uses.... most people pay. Youd be surprised. It adds up quickly with a lot of people using this reasoning. |
No it doesn’t that’s ridiculous logic. It’s so kindergarten level if you do it everyone will. No that’s not true. And make it cheaper per person if you want all to pay. If it’s out of reach expect people not to pay. If someone has to buy a bunch of seats $200 a piece is crazy for the average family.
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amother
Wine
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:24 pm
amother Charcoal wrote: | So who should be covering shul expenses if not people who actually use the shul? The people who cant pay should make a payment plan and pay throughout the year. The same way you buy new clothes, you renew your ability to benefit from the shul. For some reason people think that they can jump seats and get away with paying so they do. | That’s such a sad attitude. Makes me think of Hillel having to listen to torah on the roof in middle of a snowstorm, because he couldn’t afford to pay the entrance fee. Shul should be for everyone regardless of financial status.
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amother
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:27 pm
amother Wine wrote: | That’s such a sad attitude. Makes me think of Hillel having to listen to torah on the roof in middle of a snowstorm, because he couldn’t afford to pay the entrance fee. Shul should be for everyone regardless of financial status. |
So no shul will kick you out (as far as I know) but people not paying isnt fair either. Most shuls offer payment plans and discounts where needed.
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amother
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:32 pm
They offered a payment plan but we already have so many payment plans. Sadly my daughter will end ip davening at home and being in shul for as long as she can stand. It just makes me sad to say no to something ruchnius that shouldn’t cost this much $.
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amother
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:36 pm
amother Charcoal wrote: | As the daughter of the rav of a shul, the money is used to pay for shul expenses throughout the year. Running a shul is generally not a money maker. I personally think its not nice to use someone elses seat and not pay. If you cant pay, ask for a payment plan to pay when you can but coming and using a seat (even if its someone elses) its disrespectful and not understanding what the money is used and needed for. Just saying from the other side of the table. Good yom tov all! |
I have worked in a shul office and understand the finances. I agree that people should reach out to work out finances if they want to reserve a seat and can't afford afford it BUT I think most shul have empty seats in the bacl that are not guaranteed, and people are also free to sit in an empty swat as long as they get up when the person who paid for it arrives. Paying is to guarantee a reserved seat. It doesn't mean don't come unless you pay. It's never ok to turn people away from davening or say people shouldn't come.
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amother
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Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:40 pm
amother Slategray wrote: | Most people come and go, she can move around the shul as long as she gets up when she sees the person come whose seat she is in. |
Please don't do this. I grew up being told to do this and it was very embarassing for me as a kid. I am not sure how old she is but I still feel the feelings of shame of people asking me to move around the shul.
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