Do you let your children in your bedroom?

red sea

Thu, Dec 22 2005, 5:52 pm

Sometimes I go to my room for a minute of quiet and somehow end up being followed, that by a certain point the my whole precious family is in my bedroom, so much for the moment of silence. I remember growing up a friends parents had their bedroom 100% off limits for the kids, and others slept in their parents beds. What are your rules as far as kids and the master bedroom?

Last edited by red sea on Mon, Dec 26 2005, 8:01 pm; edited 3 times in total

cindy324

Thu, Dec 22 2005, 7:15 pm

I would love to keep them out, but my hubby is not as strict about it, so it's hard to enforce. Right now I'm happy if nobody shows up in the middle of the night Rolling Eyes

intghn

Thu, Dec 22 2005, 8:30 pm

I grew up with my parents bedroom totally off limits and I thought I wanted that too. But when my son was able to get out of bed himself and he was scared and needed his mommy I couldn't deny him. I've spoken to many of my friends about it and so far they have all told me that the children will reach a certain point and they won't come anymore, but they had the comfort they needed at a most important time in their lives.

raizy

Thu, Dec 22 2005, 10:55 pm

same for us . I would love a moment of silience only everyone all cheerfully marches in with me.

parents room used to be off limet to children . now children just seem to think its anther room to the house...

and my kids know that my top drawer has all this interesting forbidden things and all navigate to it like magnets...

Itta

Sun, Dec 25 2005, 5:04 pm

my kids are too little right now for me to talk too much, but I grew up knowing that if I had a bad dream or if I was scared for some reason, I could bring my pillow and blanket and camp out on my parent's bedroom floor.

but otherwise, my parents bedroom (and mine now too) is not a room to congregate in. there is a living room/dining room/kitchen for discussion and visiting purposes...

MommyLuv

Sun, Dec 25 2005, 6:36 pm

I have one little girl who sleeps cuddled next to me in my bed all night. she is 8 months old. We both love it.
I plan to keep the arrangement for as long as we all enjoy it-my DH loves having her so close by-and it makes it easier for me to comfort her (I.e. nurse) during the night.
I can't speak for when she will be older, but I think I will welcome my children into my bedroom whenever they want to be there with me.
Of course kids reach a certain age when they can understand that you may need some time alone with the door closed. But for the most part, I hope to always be there when my kids need my comfort and love-or listening ear-whatever part of the house that may be, however old they may be. Kids of all ages need warmth and affection.

happymom

Sun, Dec 25 2005, 7:40 pm

I cannot sleep with my baby in my bed and id rather my baby sleep in her own crib/bed anyways.... when she needs to nurse I put her in my bed then put her back in her crib... I think when my kids grow up iyh (not babies..) I would welcome my kids any time in my room when they knock and its a good time to come in... otherwise I would go out to them.

He*Sings*To*Me

Sun, Jan 01 2006, 12:17 am

While our bedroom is off-limits to those outside our household, we DO allow our children in, provided they knock then wait to be invited. We have a 19" color tv in there, and they love sitting on my husband's bed to watch their DVDs...this is a treat though, and a reward for good behaviour.

I am an independent obstetrical researcher, and I often have documents, journals, etc. spread all over my bed...I also like to view things related to my field of interest/passion in the privacy of my own space.

lucky

Sun, Jan 01 2006, 2:03 am

Itta wrote:

but I grew up knowing that if I had a bad dream or if I was scared for some reason, I could bring my pillow and blanket and camp out on my parent's bedroom floor.

Ditto. My mom taught us not to even wake her. We just shlepped our pillow and blankets in. Now that I am married I realize that it must have been very hard on my parents. There were nights when half the family camped out there. B'H my kids don't have nightmares or wake up much during the night, but if they do, I am still mommy and am available to them even in middle of the night.

Rivka

Sun, Jan 01 2006, 8:19 am

I think it depends on their age. When they are old enough I will allow as long as they knock before and wait to be invited in.
But right now my son is a bit young to be given those rules as he usually comes in to be cuddled.
Otherwise he runs around the house playing.

He*Sings*To*Me

Sun, Jan 01 2006, 4:33 pm

Our younger two are still in cribs; the older two knock-n-wait. We probably seem hard-nosed, but we're really not...we don't have a certain "set" age we want them to knock, but our older 2 just seemed to comprehend the boundaries and we've never actually refused them entry...I am now curious if we were to actually say 'no' if that would be understood...I think it would hurt their feelings...I doubt I ever "test" it.
This thread prompted me to really give this issue some thought...I think we have 'policy' set lke we do in our house to ingrain respect of boundaries early on...its one of those issues that will vary depending on each family's uniqueness...I would never judge anyone else who does differently.

happymom

Sun, Jan 01 2006, 4:37 pm

Quote:

...I think it would hurt their feelings...I doubt I ever "test" it.

I look at it differently. I don't see it as a bad thing to teach kids that sometimes people need their privacy and if it really isnt a good time to enter the parents room, they need to wait. I see this as a good thing, not bad. as long as it isnt a emergency and can wait of course....

He*Sings*To*Me

Sun, Jan 01 2006, 4:52 pm

HI, Happymom! (I like your user name...it's so uplifting and cheerful!) Perhaps I didn't do an effective job conveying what I meant...
Understanding boundaries is a healthy thing for children, and I am 100% 'for' people establishing them.
I just meant that my girls would probably be hurt if I actually DID say no and that I would never say 'no' just to "test" what they'd do.
OH, let me tell ya... there more than likely WILL come a time when we'll HAVE to tell them no, and they probably WILL be stunned!!! BUt, that'll just be too bad and they'll have to 'deal'...it's just that so far they haven't presented themselves for entry at an "inconvenient" time for their company, if you catch my drift
Wink