“So sweet” | Imamother

imaima

Wed, Nov 27 2024, 2:34 am

amother OP wrote:

When you do something nice for someone and they respond to you “ you’re so sweet…”does that feel like a put down to you? I’m a pretty confident person and I do what I feel is right but I find that response so jarring and condescending . Anyone else feel that way?

I feel like they are being really awkward and didn’t know what to say

justforfun87

Wed, Nov 27 2024, 3:25 am

Oy, I use this term all the time to indicate thoughtfulness. I guess if someone said it with a smirk and nasty tone it could mean something different but I would hope no one thought I was being condescending.

amother

Sand

Wed, Nov 27 2024, 7:02 am

I feel the same. I mostly use sweet for a food that's full of sugar. I don't appreciate that compliment and don't say it to others. Additionally, by shidduch info if someone says a girl looks or acts sweet I find that a nice way of saying "average".

singleagain ↓

Wed, Nov 27 2024, 7:06 am

amother Tangerine wrote:

You're pointing to the potential to be condescending which I think is in the southern expression "bless your heart" lol

For me it depends on tone of voice I guess, but I'd usually just not nitpick people's trying to be kind, there are worse things, you know?

Oh my gosh, as I was reading this thread and realizing how many people found this offensive, I was immediately thought of "bless your heart"

amother

Freesia

Wed, Nov 27 2024, 7:48 am

I think the world has gone mad and people are in desperate need of therapy. Clearly there is a lot of trauma and baggage.
Do we need to look for negative potential in everything, twist it and be offended.
It is a compliment. It is met well. It is either someone’s mannerisms or they are looking for verbiage differently from the last person, or it just fits the action. (I find it much warmer than you’re so thoughtful-yet that wouldn’t offend me either) You are looking for problems where there are none. I think you are insane.

*** bless your heart is not insulting either. When I speak with a customer service representative in the Deep South and our conversation takes some tangents and if she blesses my ❤️, I am good with that. Different religion, but I will take any blessings that want to come my way.

Maybe I just don’t see the cynicism in people. Why would I want to? The world is a much happier place if you don’t keep looking for the negative.

↑ singleagain

Wed, Nov 27 2024, 8:37 am

amother Freesia wrote:

*** bless your heart is not insulting either. When I speak with a customer service representative in the Deep South and our conversation takes some tangents and if she blesses my ❤️, I am good with that. Different religion, but I will take any blessings that want to come my way.

Bless your heart was not intended at all to be insulting but people use it in a sarcastic, backhanded way

Seriously Google bless your heart sarcastic and you'll see lots of examples.