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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
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Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:21 pm
What does that look like for you? Also, if you can share your hashkafa.
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amother
Pistachio
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Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:22 pm
Mostly we talk about privacy. “There’s a time and place for everything.” Usually begins when a kid starts to use the toilet.
Hashkafa? Heimish BY
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amother
Wine
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Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:24 pm
Sitting like a lady and Keeping your legs together when on the couch is something often overlooked. I’ve seen many many frum appearing girls sitting improperly
I’m RW MO
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amother
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Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:24 pm
Being a good role model myself from when my kids are very little.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:56 pm
amother Chestnut wrote: | Being a good role model myself from when my kids are very little. |
What hashkafa?
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amother
Lily
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Thu, Nov 28 2024, 10:05 pm
Zero talk. Only role modeling.
Truly valuing yourself. Your very self as a princess.
Tznius is being able to see your own value and not needing to flaunt it. If you value yourself as a princess then your children will do the same. Zero zero talk and mussarimg about tznius.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 28 2024, 10:46 pm
Chassidish.
I literally don't talk about it, just role model & be myself. And bh bh my older kids are teens by now & exhibit true tzenuis. Hashem should help further.
My own mother is a good role model & never preached/talked either. All her girls bh have great tzenuis values. It's as if it's inborn bh.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 28 2024, 10:51 pm
Being careful with keeping my hair covered at home. It has a trickle down effect. Plus, it's brought down as a segulah for good kids.
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amother
Maple
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Thu, Nov 28 2024, 10:53 pm
By example.
What actually sent me to rebel is when adults started consciously talking about it.
Used to be yeshivish. Now jpf or rwmo.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 28 2024, 11:05 pm
amother Clover wrote: | Being careful with keeping my hair covered at home. It has a trickle down effect. Plus, it's brought down as a segulah for good kids. |
I actually also believe that being careful with hair covering at home, leaves a positive effect on the home in general.
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giftedmom
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Thu, Nov 28 2024, 11:10 pm
I don’t. The school, the community, the atmosphere at home is enough.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 28 2024, 11:34 pm
Modeling.
Making them aware during shopping why some things are more appropriate on them than others.
Spending happily for alterations or clothing for them that are more expensive if it's more tzniusdig.
Again modeling. (That's the beginning and end with some verbal chinuch in between when in certain settings)
Chassidish
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amother
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Thu, Nov 28 2024, 11:37 pm
Dd has two older brothers so we’ve discussed how her body is beautiful and it’s just for her to see (she’s 4) and she should get dressed and undressed in private not in front of her brothers
We’ve also discussed how it’s ok for her to be in the room while I’m getting dressed (as long as I’m wearing a bra and underwear) but it’s not tzniusdig for her brothers to be in the room then
I suggest she sit tzniusdigly when her dress is above her underwear
I am modern machmir
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shabbatiscoming
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Fri, Nov 29 2024, 2:26 am
Just by our actions. I have never spoken to my daughter about tzniut. Its always just been a davar yadua, she just knows by how she sees me act and how she sees others acting.
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amother
Snow
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Fri, Nov 29 2024, 2:41 am
I went to a BT seminary, a d tzniut was never mentioned there, unless someone asked a question. If you did ask a question, the teachers were completely open, both about halacha and personal experiences and struggles. It was taught completely by example.
That's what I do in the house as well. Tbe same as other values. I don't give my children long lectures about why we keep Shabbos. It's what we do, and the lessons come through doing it. I personify my values of tzniut in dress and behaviour as well as I can, and my children absorb it. When they want to ask questions, I'm ready to answer.
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amother
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Fri, Nov 29 2024, 9:37 am
Joining this thread because I'd love to hear practical lines to tell a daughter.
Have a bunch of boys, and my daughter is 2.5 now. I'm so nervous about giving over tznius to her, it was given over to me in a way that left me with a bad taste in my mouth until this day. ("cover your knees, your brother's here"). For reference, I am a very tznius kollel wife today but took a lot of work to get here! I don't want my daughter to have to struggle like I did.
How do you teach a girl to be covered around men without having the negative affect?
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amother
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Fri, Nov 29 2024, 9:38 am
Tznius should be for both girls and boys. Even if the technicalities are a bit different I.e. sleeve length.
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amother
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Fri, Nov 29 2024, 9:39 am
amother Razzmatazz wrote: | Joining this thread because I'd love to hear practical lines to tell a daughter.
Have a bunch of boys, and my daughter is 2.5 now. I'm so nervous about giving over tznius to her, it was given over to me in a way that left me with a bad taste in my mouth until this day. ("cover your knees, your brother's here"). For reference, I am a very tznius kollel wife today but took a lot of work to get here! I don't want my daughter to have to struggle like I did.
How do you teach a girl to be covered around men without having the negative affect? |
I don’t tell dd (4) to cover her knees in front of her brothers but she does have to wear underwear and preferably an undershirt in front of them. I explain because her body is beautiful and private places are just for her to see.
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Chayalle
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Fri, Nov 29 2024, 9:39 am
Taking my daughter shopping and making sure she has tznius clothes that she will enjoy wearing and feel good about.
Yeshivish.
(that's only one aspect, obviously.)
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giftedmom
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Fri, Nov 29 2024, 9:46 am
amother Razzmatazz wrote: | Joining this thread because I'd love to hear practical lines to tell a daughter.
Have a bunch of boys, and my daughter is 2.5 now. I'm so nervous about giving over tznius to her, it was given over to me in a way that left me with a bad taste in my mouth until this day. ("cover your knees, your brother's here"). For reference, I am a very tznius kollel wife today but took a lot of work to get here! I don't want my daughter to have to struggle like I did.
How do you teach a girl to be covered around men without having the negative affect? |
Don’t make it about the men
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