Walking hand in hand

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

Previous 1 2 3 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Tamiri

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 2:33 pm

Isn't it sad that girls walking hand-in-hand is viewed as an oddity in some places? I would say that in Israel it's not at all uncommon.
I thought the post would be about seeing opposite zex people walking hand-in-hand.

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 2:34 pm

I certainly dont think its sick or weird. if it wasnt Jewish girls I might thibnk twice but if it was frum girls, especially if they were giggly or loud they might have just been acting silly.

Ruchel

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 2:35 pm

I would say it's (even) weirder for boys. But yeah, cultural I suppose...

amother

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 2:42 pm

Isramom8 wrote:

Frum teenage girls holding hands probably means they have normal feelings but no opportunity to express them with a member of the opposite gender, so they get expressed by some sort of innocent physical closeness between close friends. Doesn't mean they are gay.

So true. It's a way for them to express wanting to be close to someone. But I do think it's weird.

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 2:44 pm

ok boys holding hands I weird 4 me

shosh

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 2:47 pm

Oh dear, sometimes I walk along with my arm around 12 yr old ds's shoulder. Are pple going to think weird things about me too?!!!

Seriously, I have better things to do than think weird stuff about young teen girls holding hands, especially if they are frum. As stated above, here in Israel it really means nothing.

Mind you, in downtown Jerusalem, I recently saw 2 young women holding hands who both had shaven heads and looked very butch ... And I just thought it was very sad to see that kind of thing over here.

greentiger

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 5:50 pm

Motek wrote:

If you saw teenaged girls walking hand in hand would you think:

1) nothing of it
2) that's weird!
3) that's sick
4) that's sweet

5) Very "semmy".

I think its usually inocent but it really causes people to look. I spoke to my husband about this just to get a guys take and his reaction was: shock

it really can look bad...

costanza

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 9:29 pm

At first I thought you meant teenage boys and girls holding hands - but you mean 2 girls. Yeah - weird. I would freak if I saw m teenager holding hands, publicly or privately, with a friend of the same relations. Is this common? Do they do it for long periods of time (like over long distances)?

Motek

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 10:18 pm

greentiger wrote:

I spoke to my husband about this just to get a guys take and his reaction was: shock

it really can look bad...

This thread was prompted by my hearing a man describe seeing two frum girls holding hands and he was rather irate about it and said it was sick.

amother

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 10:24 pm

I used to see this all the time in the sleepaway camps (2) that I worked in. I think it is just a thing that teens do to show eveyone else that they have close frineds. Its probably the same reason that the teen in the other thread wants to take professional pics with her friends.
anon cuz I dont want people to know that I work in camp in the summer.

Clarissa

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 10:41 pm

I think it's sweet and not weird. I don't understand why such things would make anybody angry or uncomfortable. I have a friend who likes to walk arm in arm. When I was a young girl, I didn't hold hands with female friends but wouldn't think anything about it if I saw it. I do remember walking with my best friend (a man) holding hands sometimes when I was in my early 20's.

mimivan

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 10:47 pm

Tamiri wrote:

Yes it is very common here, especially among the very frum...or very traditional...I don't think anyone sees is as anything but innocence, unless as Shosh mentioned...the women seem to be doing it for other reasons.

Raizle

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 11:20 pm

Motek wrote:

If you saw teenaged girls walking hand in hand would you think:

1) nothing of it
2) that's weird!
3) that's sick
4) that's sweet

Depends. If I saw two frum innocent looking girls I probably wouldn't think anything of it. If I saw secular women then I'd probably think things.

Lady Godiva

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 11:21 pm

Raizle wrote:

Depends. If I saw two frum innocent looking girls I probably wouldn't think anything of it. If I saw secular women then I'd probably think things.

Is that a double standard?

Raizle

Sat, Oct 11 2008, 11:39 pm

no, it's just that walking hand in hand in the innocent sense is more of a frumy thing to do.
I don't see secular women innocently walking hand in hand much and when I do see secular women walking hand in hand it's usually clear that they are gay. Either by the way they are looking at each other or by their dress style.
Other then that it's clear if it's a mother and daughter or grandmother and daughter.

Motek

Sun, Oct 12 2008, 4:53 pm

So your answer is yes, it is a double standard and you explained why 8) Nothing wrong with that.

Raizle

Sun, Oct 12 2008, 6:51 pm

nope

double standard -

Quote:

A double standard refers to one class of entities being treated differently from another class of entities, and implies an unfair or unjustified differentiation...

wikipedia
8)

Motek

Sun, Oct 12 2008, 7:52 pm

with this definition from answers.com:

double standard - A set of principles permitting greater opportunity or liberty to one than to another

the phrase has nothing to do with what you said since you weren't allowing opportunity or liberty to anyone 8)

Raizle

Sun, Oct 12 2008, 9:56 pm

unless they are asking my permission to hold hands Tongue Out

GAMZu

Sun, Oct 12 2008, 10:17 pm

I have held my friends' hands as a teen- either in camp on the way somewhere, or at a school activity or shabbaton, and especially on the first day of High school! Tongue Out

I don't think I've done it casually walking down the block, but I wouldn't think anything weird about it.

I have seen boys around age 9 holding their mother's hand in the street. I though it to be very sweet! I have seen brothers and friends walking home from cheider (ages 7-11 approx.) holding hands or arms on each others' shoulders/waist. Again- not only no big deal, but I found it nice.

I once saw 2 frum guys meet each other and shake hands, and then one of them kissed the other's hand. I thought it was unusual, but not necc. meaning anything. Maybe they didn't see each other in a long time.

I also saw 2 Chasidish men outside together- one was actually my son's Rebbe in cheider and the other man had Down Syndrome. They were talking, and suddenly the man with DS hugged the other man. The other man kinda patted him back and withdrew very quickly. I thought it was sad that he didn't return a full hug just because of social norms.

And just today- I saw a boy about age 5 hugging his 7 year old brother very affectionately. Their older sister (teen) pulled the 5 y.o. away and said, "Not in the street!" Rolling Eyes

The last 2 incidents I mentioned made me sad. What a stupid culture where people can't express their emotions towards each other for fear of being considered something awful. Sad

What a way to develop a nation that is rude and cold.

Page 2 of 3

Previous 1 2 3 Next