whaddaya want from my life?!?!

ShakleeMom

Fri, Oct 24 2008, 1:38 pm

So what do you do with a pre-teen who thinks she’s a teen already… and talks aback to you all the time. Till now, all I do is ignore, yet she continues. it’s not stopping, she’s just getting and angrier and madder and more chutzpahdig,.

Example: Please set the Shabbos table, then you can go out to play for an hour.

Stamping feet, moaning – you know! What do you want from my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Martyr syndrome.

cindy324

Fri, Oct 24 2008, 5:02 pm

SIGGHHH...I feel for you. often the preteen year(s) can be worse then the actual teenage years.

Their hormones are raging, they're bodes are not here not there, they are a real pain in the you know what!

My dd is 13 and 11-12 was the worst. It's actually lot better now.

ShakleeMom

Fri, Oct 24 2008, 5:10 pm

Gee thanks but I’m not seeing any growth spurts and she’s the same height since first grade (except weight). If I’d see her growing up physically, I’d accept it as a package deal. She’s been doing this since 8.5 and I think it’s more of a chinuch issue, although she acts exactly like I did at 15! This is preposterous!

happyone

Fri, Oct 24 2008, 5:13 pm

I'm with you on this one. I can totally empathize. My advice to you is to go have that baby already, check yourself into Aim B'yisroel, and at least you'll have a week or so off. Newborn screaming is still easier than the teens .

Fox

Fri, Oct 24 2008, 5:14 pm

Don't let it get you down (which I know is easier said than done) and don't let anyone persuade you to overreact. I've never seen anyone be a successful parent by going crazy over every sigh, moan, or eye-rolling. Decide what battles are important and ignore the rest.

I completely agree with cindy324 that the pre-teen years are the worst. When DD started high school this fall, she went from being disagreeable, demanding, and lazy to being pretty close to a fantasy daughter. In fact, I'm able to hang out on imamother because she made Shabbos!

Personally, I didn't say anything if DD was simply moaning and complaining. I only spoke with her if she said something personal to me, her father, or (more frequently) her siblings.

Life is full of cycles, and just when we're about to give up, girls seem to outgrow whatever is making them crazy. We get a few years of relative peace, and then "kallah disease" sets in -- whether she's engaged or not, the whole world must revolve around our lovely maidel. Then, just when we're ready to snap, she gets married and has her own children, and we're filled with delight as infants and toddlers come to wreak our home and assault our eardrums.

ShakleeMom

Fri, Oct 24 2008, 5:19 pm

Oh gosh thank you! I feel so much better, I’m serious! I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking this is ridiculous and unbearable. I’ll give her an extra thanks and a hug soon for setting the Shabbos table (after a major fussout) but still, it’s nuts. Maybe I’ll put her on hormone therapy LOL

G’Shabbos gals!

greenfire

Fri, Oct 24 2008, 5:19 pm

doncha know the hormones surge at 11 ... Twisted Evil

now dear - to yourself scream "WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH MY LIFE ?!?!?! WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH MY LIFE ?!?!?! WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH MY LIFE ?!?!?!" ... say to your teeny bopper in the nicest sweetest mommy voice ... in response to her querie "sweety - I simply need you to set the table" ... then breath ...

supermom

Sun, Oct 26 2008, 4:08 am

A rabbi came to speak to the woman and one thing he said when a woman came to him complaining that her daughter didn't stop calling her idiot, stupid, garbage she was fed up. Everything she tried didn't work. Her daughter just got angrier and angrier. He told her to play reverse roles. When her daughter asked her to do something she answered I am sorry I am an idiot and how do you expect me to do your laundry, cook your food, and so on and so forth. In a couple of days the girl changed.

I was having a problem with my six year old she didn't want to listen to me everything I said why do I need to do this let someone else do it or I should do it myself. I tried his tactic and in two day she changed. She couldn't handle looking for her own food, clothing, uniform, and finding someone else to help her do her homework. She was miserable until she realized it is not worth not listening to me.

Try it on your daughter it is worth a try. Every time she asks you something, a favor, question, you name it ask her what do you want from my life. Tasting ones own medicine always hurts.

ValleyMom

Sun, Oct 26 2008, 11:41 am

My friend always told me teenagers are horrendous from age 14 - 16. We just need to sit tight and weather the storm. She claims they all settle down at that point for a while. I hope to G-d she is right because my daughter is driving me up the wall. Negativity is not something I do well with.
Good Luck to ALL of us!!!!

Mrs. XYZ

Sun, Oct 26 2008, 11:55 am

happyone wrote:

Shakleemom, you're quickly forgetting what you were like as a teen. Why don't we have a chat with your mom!

She didn't forget! She just admitted it herself, didn't she?! I hope her mom doesn't go telling her daughter about it though!

ShakleeMom

Sun, Oct 26 2008, 11:59 am

happyone wrote:

Shakleemom, you're quickly forgetting what you were like as a teen. Why don't we have a chat with your mom!

You want to kil me alive? My mom is the last person I can wine to, I’ll get one of these (you do the voice) “hashem doesn’t forget” or “I wonder where she gets that from”. Can’t you plotz, oy – jewish mothers.

Besides, I did that at 15, not 11!

Tefila

Sun, Oct 26 2008, 12:36 pm

supermom wrote:

Excellent advice

supermom

Mon, Oct 27 2008, 5:32 am

Thank you

Tefila coming from you is sure a compliment. And good to finally see you back again!!

Greenfire the rabbi told the woman to do it with her teenage daughter so why wouldn't it work for her 11 year old daughter?

supermom

Mon, Oct 27 2008, 6:36 am

ShakleeMom wrote:

Supermom, she’s bright enough to see through it the first few times, so it’s worth a shot! I’ll let you know how it works out.

Hatzlocho. It could take a week, beware. DOn't give up.