No Money! | Imamother

lostIma

Mon, Nov 10 2008, 3:27 pm

catonmylap wrote:

lostIma wrote:

Its not what anyone HAD with non jews - that they are bad- its assimulation!!!!! thats how the Chorbun bais hamikdash came about - thats why we dotn want to send our children to public school! we are DIFFFERENT! thats why we spend soo much money so our children are NOT like them .....we take EVERY precaution that they stay far away from their ways too.....

If you feel that way, how can live outside of Israel? Don't you want to live amongst almost entirely Jews? I remember once, it might have even been while I was in seminary....my Uncle asked his kids if they had ever seen a [gentile] before...and my cousin answered that maybe once she saw a black person....

They should avoid contact with them as much as possible so LEARNING together makes it realllllllllly hard!
sort of UNAVOIDABLE....

shnitzel

Mon, Nov 10 2008, 3:48 pm

DH went to public school for high school - he wasn't frum when he started but became frum (along with his family) in the middle. There was no jewish high school in the city he grew up in. His family moved to a community with frum schools when his brother was in high school but his brother stayed in public school because he was behind in limudei kodesh (not shocking since he was in public school since junior high) and I don't think the family cared enough at that point to make the effort to put him in a frum school.
Baruch Hashem they both turned out fine but DH would NEVER in a million years put a kid in public school after his experience (and he was a good kid in an ok school) he won't even go to non-jewish colleges and he "modern orthodox".
I actually am not 100% sure why he feels so strongly. I go to secualar college but he likes being around jews. He also works in kiruv with high school kids and some are in public schools so I am sure that also affects how he feels.
I don't think his main issue was assimilation - his friends were the few jews in his school - but that is something , he does have friends who were frummish who are dating non jews now b/c that is who is mostly around

Happy Mom

Tue, Dec 02 2008, 12:33 am

amother wrote:

Quote:

The first thing I'd tell the OP to do is cut all meat out of her and her family's diet. I'd tell her to turn down the thermostat to 58 degrees and start wearing sweaters inside. I'd tell her to put her kids in public school. I'd tell her that either she or her husband should take on a part time job.

OP Here, your kidding right? Or are you saying that I should let my baby sleep in 3 layers and be cold at night? Would you put your kid in a public school??

Forget about the meat, since we dont eat that during the week but to go to the extreme I think your a bit overdoing it. And we both work as long and as hard as we can.

I think the point that was being made is that most people have a lot of expenses they see as necessary, but many of them aren't as necessary as we may think and can be adjusted if you need to make your dollars stretch further.

I don't think wearing three layers in the house is unreasonable or extreme. If your baby has three layers on, she wouldn't be cold. I think it's strange how many people put their a/c on to 68 or 65 in the summer, but have to have it at 73 in the winter. They choose to be that cold in the summer, but in the winter it would be suffering? It shows that our perspectives are very subjective. We keep our thermostat very low, have heavy drapes on the windows, the kids have warm thermals and good quality fleece sweatshirts, and it's fine. No, it's not toasty, but we're not suffering, and we're able to keep our budget in check. Your body physically adjusts to whatever temperature you're used to, and my kids now get overheated and flushed when they're at friends who keep their heat at 73.

There are plenty of ways for most people to cut their food budget substantially - most people think that they're already frugal, that there's no room to cut anything else. But there are a lot of other factors other than not buying meat - where you buy, when you buy, how you buy, what you serve, in what ratios, in or out of season, etc, that make a drastic difference to your bottom line.

There are other ways to cut your expenses, short of sending your child to p.s. (which I wouldn't be comfortable with) , getting another job, or lying about your income. It might be worth it for you, as far as dollars and cents (not to mention quality of life-wise) for you to stop working. Then your income is legally low enough to honestly qualify for the benefits you're talking about, and you can do a lot of other things to save money because you'll have the time that you didn't have when you were out working. Just something to think about.... Smile