How to deal with a newborn and other kids?

zigi

Thu, Nov 20 2008, 5:58 pm

how to deal with a newborn and other kids? help!!!!! I needed to change ds and the baby was crying and dd needed to go potty......... and now she has plastic scissors.... how do manage? I need tips! thanks!

Tehilla

Thu, Nov 20 2008, 6:08 pm

yes it's hard (I'm still adjusting 1 mo later).

help if possible. otherwise, quickly decide priority. for example in the situation you mentioned:

1. Make sure baby is safe. "Toss" DD on potty.
2. While she's using it, quickly change DS and verbally reassure baby.
3. Pat baby, wipe her if she needs help, and then run back to baby (all hygienic practices in affect here).

Make sure to have diapers/wipes/tissues/spare toys in all important rooms for easy use.

Continually distract your older ones with Torah DVDs, coloring, etc until your baby is a little older. Let your house cleaning stink, or get a housekeeper till you're back on your feet. Get meals (can I cook one for you soon?). Keep snacks handy. Find friends who can maybe take your older one(s) for 1-2 hours a couple days if you'd like.

Something that really helped me: my kids wake up bright and early (think anywhere from 5:30-6:30am) since the time change. So I force myself to go to bed now at 9pm, so that I get a good night's rest and can function the next day. Stay fed and hydrated, and get at least 10 minutes a day to yourself and shower.

pacifier

Thu, Nov 20 2008, 7:34 pm

want to know what I do?
surviving mode. if I'm nursing and dd or ds needs diaper change.... they'll have to wait.
and sometimes it's baby that has to wait... (if I m giving a bath to the others for example and baby wakes up).
and forget about potty training... dd is 3. knows how to undress, get on toilet, but will only make in her diaper.

well, it'll get better in a few months....

ShakleeMom

Thu, Nov 20 2008, 7:35 pm

I came here to release some tension and pounced on this thread. My next-to-youngest will be 4. She is not the brutal type, yet today it finally caught up she came home from school with that gleam in her eye. All week I’ve been focused on one thing – get the bay to be asleep when she steps in, so that she can pretend it’s just me and her. Today it crashed. Instead of appreciating the quiet, she kept ‘patting’ the baby on the head, ‘swinging’ the swing, checking if baby has a tongue, etc.

I really lost it when she ‘tasted’ the formula and swore she loved it. My only good strategy I can stick to is ignoring. So far it’s not effective because I wince when she touches the baby but then, it’s ridiculous to ignore that!

HELP!

zigi

Thu, Nov 20 2008, 8:25 pm

ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the 2 oldest are starting up with each other, mixed martial arts and biting,they are really cranky and acting up. I really want to give the baby a bottle of formula to make him sleep for 3 hours. I am nursing and getting my milk in,

its so much fun when they ''''play with the baby"
my kids wanted pacifiers, ds was pulling his leg. I guess to see if he was real. good luck shaklee!

I am really thinking of getting a sling there is no other safe place to put the baby. and I can nurse at the same time.

thanks for the tips tehilla I will take you up on the offer of someone to kvetch to!

pacifier do we have the same dd? she needs to be taken to the potty otherwise she will make, but she is capable of doing it herself, oh well I guess she will use the potty that she can do herslef and not the potty seat on the toilet, since she has to be taken,

I will priortize and get used to the fact that someone isn't going to be happy and is going to be crying,

Tehilla

Thu, Nov 20 2008, 8:30 pm

it's a world of difference now zigi, even just a few weeks later. and even now, sometimes everyone's crying (including me LOL). it's gotten easier though, day by day, week by week.

and my kids love the baby--they've mostly been taking out their adjustment frustrations on each other, and after that DH & me. but mostly each other...hang in there.

zigi

Sat, Nov 22 2008, 11:02 pm

sorry pacifier, good luck with the training, when ds was born I gave up training ds. he almost was trained I let it go, he trained himself a few months later.

I figured out the most stressful time, dinner and bedtime, otherwise its manageble but the kids gets so cranky and out of control. the peace and quiet when the big kids are asleep, what a mechaya!

my big kids tempers are out of control the endless chutzpah and back talking, its driving me crazy, I do not what to know what they will be like when they are teenagers! the 18 month old is his same self thank g-d. I can't imagine having more kids and the house being distrupted again.

ShakleeMom

Sun, Nov 23 2008, 9:04 am

zigi wrote:

my big kids tempers are out of control the endless chutzpah and back talking, its driving me crazy, I do not what to know what they will be like when they are teenagers! the 18 month old is his same self thank g-d. I can't imagine having more kids and the house being distrupted again.

is that me talking.........

supermama2

Sun, Nov 23 2008, 9:13 am

ShakleeMom wrote:

The 2 children who I kept apart ( my first 2 ) tend to fight the most. W/ the others I let them touch baby and wasn't so uptight about it and those kids get along better.

zigi

Fri, Dec 26 2008, 1:35 pm

I am feeling really overwhelmed. the baby wants to be held during the day so when its quiet in the house and I could be getting things done I am holding the baby. then I am dealing with the other kids when the big kids come home. the baby isn't sleeping that well at night, whenever I need him to sleep he doesn't want to or only wants to sleep with me, so at least I sleep a little. I want a nice deep sleep!

I need advice on how to run the house. I am drowning in laundry. I wish I had a machine. its great that I can do 3 loads at one time but I have to put 3 loads away. and I need to make 2 trips to the laundromat. I don't mind doing laundry its a break and they have a nice place to sit. but the making time to shlep the clothes to the laundromat ugh.

I also need tips on house to keep the house clean. my kids are learning how to put their things away. but it is a neverending job being on top of everything.

my toddler wants to go out of the house more often. he doesn't walk up stairs yet, I am trying to teach him. he weighs a ton. I don't know why I think its so hard to go out of the house. I had the same situation before. my dd was 2 and I had a newborn.

thanks for reading! I had to get that out!

Tehilla

Fri, Dec 26 2008, 1:44 pm

zigi, I just went through that and still am in some ways. what can you afford? can you afford to drop off the clothes for amonth and have it come back clean and folded? they can even pick up? it might be a justifiable expense for you for a few weeks.

remember the first 6 weeks are hard (give or take a couple weeks there). I noticed things got so much easier this time after that point.

let some things slide, especially if you don't have a housekeeper (which I didn't and still only have sporadically). do the minimal Shabbos cleaning--and start on Wed. instead of being able to do things Thurs/Fri--make your whole week devoted to running smoothly.

montrealmommy

Sat, Dec 27 2008, 6:22 pm

I am going to jump on to this bandwagon too -

ds and dd are either acting out and wild or having tantrums and being chutzpahdik. It's driving me crazy. If I don't get out of bed, then nothing gets done or it's done incorrectly - like lunch being served at 3pm after multiple meltdowns! the baby is up almost all night and calm most of the day - esp. if held. I still can't roll over or lie down completely so sleep is tough even when I get the chance.

I can't wait for next week - a friend was kind and generous enough to organize meals - so at least I won't have to think about feeding everyone. And the kids are back in school - so lunch will be taken care of too. Now if only the weather would improve so I can feel safe enough to leave the house! (the city is one big skating rink - you doulsn't pay me to step out there!)

Now we just have to get the baby flesh-toned enough to have a bris -

inhale, exhale, ahhhhh - I feel a little better now -
thanks for listening!

gryp

Sat, Dec 27 2008, 6:34 pm

Zigi, whenever you might need to send a few kids my way, I don't mind. My kids behave better with friends around so you'd be doing me a favor.
Call me if you need anything. I'm home 24-7, almost.
If you need to go shopping or whatever and the kidsare around, I don't mind if you drop them off here. Really. I have enough toys for an entire kindergarten. ( Rolling Eyes

)

zigi

Thu, Jan 01 2009, 12:04 am

thanks for the advice! I learned my lesson. I guess I really have to be on top of everything and plan ahead. I have to get used to the new situation. I did a major food shopping on tuesday, and I will cook on thursday.

I will look into getting the laundry done and picked up I might do it once a month. I have to figure out how much it costs. I was going to look into a cleaning lady but the laundry could be more worth it.

bh the kids are starting to understand that toys belong in the playroom I know that the floor is clean so all the books can stay on the floor. if I clean them up my big baby pulls them down again.

gr thanks for the offer!

good luck montrealmommy! I hate when things are done wrong. and I have to remind dh did they eat? enjoy your meals! it was such a releif to have one less thing to think about.

shaklee good luck keeping your dd away!

mimivan

Thu, Jan 01 2009, 12:10 am

zigi wrote:

yes yes yes...I was going through this...and my older boys are fighting all the time. A Maya wrap (you can google it or find it in places you find other carriers and strollers) saved my life! The first three months the baby was in that all the time the others were home and I could nurse him in it modestly. He just loved it!

Now he is a big bigger and needs to be on his back and stretch and roll over (4 mos) so I have a playpen but the older ones are trying to jump into it and throw things in Mad

so that's another kettle of fish...

however, for a newborn...get thee a Maya wrap..they are so much more comfortable than other carriers and you can nurse discreetly in them