Vent--doorbell late at night!!!

ss321

Thu, Dec 04 2008, 7:15 am

AAAH I am so annoyed. I dont know if this is just a NY thing (that it is somehow "acecptable??") or if it is a problem elsewhere also-

TWO Meshulachim rang our doorbell past 10 PM yesterday! Please someone tell me that is insane!! And we have a sign that says "please do not ring the doorbell past 10" In english, hebrew, and yiddish!! Now, if these guys both spoke none of these three languages, it would still be incredibly rude, but at least then they would have an "excuse" as to why they didnt know how to be decent.

But 11PM for a stranger to ring your doorbell?! Both my kids woke up and Oh was I ANGRY!!! It took forever to put the baby back to sleep.

I dont know if it was the correct response or not (we are all for giving tzedaka and chas veshalom are we at all stingy, and usually we give anyone and everyone who knocks something, even if its not alot), but DH opened the door, and said to him no we are not letting you in at 1055 at night, there is a sign RIGHT HERE (pointed to it) that says do not ring the doorbell so late, our kids were sleeping and are now woken up, and the guy tried "but but" with a story, and DH just said have a good night do not ring our doorbell late at night we B"H have a family with young children and that was the end.

But I am SOOO upset!

Other than installing a different doorbell (which is now what I am thinking of doing, I think there are electric ones rather than the "ding dong" bell types that can be switched off- does anyone know for sure?), what else can we do??? does this happen to other people in NY or is it just my block??? I am so upset I am still fuming about this. I know they were out doing a mitzvah. But what about my family? What about the sign that said dont ring the doorbell at this hour? I mean what happened to common decency? Is it so wrong to say to them sorry, you cant come so late, and I am not letting you in at 11PM, even if your case is dire?? Whatever. I am mostly just venting, but please tell me if this has happened to you, and what you do about it!!

Classicookie

Thu, Dec 04 2008, 7:53 am

its so wrong to ring a door bell at that time whenever I go to someones house a always knock bec you never know once I had to go to this lady at like 8 she asked why I did not ring the bell so I said you never know who can be sleeping at those times I think what your dh did was right bec you are aloud to have rules in your house and they should respect them

zaq

Thu, Dec 04 2008, 7:54 am

My sympathies. You're justly upset--past 10.00 p.m. it's extremely rude to be ringing someone's bell. I would list the cutoff as 9.00. I think in the very frum world bedtimes are later because fathers and sons come home from beis medrash very late--HS age boys in commuter yeshivos may still be in BM at 11.00 or later, and in sleepaway yshivos thay can stay up even later than that, not to talk about post-HS yeshiva where they stay up till the wee hours. Still, the whole world is not the BM, and "normal" people expect to be operating during normal hours.

If yours is a mechanical bell with a clapper, try opening it up and wrapping the clapper with a rubber band. This will muffle the sound, but may mean you won't hear it during the day. If you can't open it up, try wrapping it with towels or something to absorb the sound. If your door is steel, you can sew or glue in some magnets to hold the wrapping in place. You can, of course, disable the bell entirely and require people to knock.

Or you could do a takeoff of the no smoking signs that show a cigarette in a red circle with a diagonal slash: a picture of a frum man with his hand out, in a red circle with a diagonal slash. They should get the message. (Or not.)

e1234

Thu, Dec 04 2008, 8:21 am

I'm worse then you - I have a sign not to ring the doorbell after 6:30
I know it's early but it wakes up my kids and then I have to get them back into bed and all..
Most people ignore it though.
It's most annoying when it's neighbors (and kids) who I point out the sign to but they can't remember.
Also once someone rings it 3 times and noone comes - don't they get the point???
if I'm finally sitting down to feed the baby when the kids are in bed -I will ignore the door - if I'm not expecting someone to be coming.

ss321

Thu, Dec 04 2008, 8:55 am

zaq wrote:

If your door is steel, you can sew or glue in some magnets to hold the wrapping in place. You can, of course, disable the bell entirely and require people to knock.

can you explain this better? our door is steel but I dont know what this means. What "wrapping?" I would love to do this

zaq wrote:

Or you could do a takeoff of the no smoking signs that show a cigarette in a red circle with a diagonal slash: a picture of a frum man with his hand out, in a red circle with a diagonal slash. They should get the message. (Or not.)

are they illiterate?? it says right underneath the doorbell do not ring later than .... in THREE languages. I

Thing is most people have the decncy to knock at night. B"H we both live near family and have quite a few siblings, cousins etc, very closeby and btwn family, friends, playdates, etc, there are people here alot. Its not like we have anyone living upstairs so they can claim "oh I meant to ring your tenants bell." We have a basement apt in the back but it has a sepearte enterance and isnt a family so I doubt the meshulach "meant" to ring her bell. is this just a NY phenomenon? I cant imagine a friend or sibling ringing the bell late at night and then being like oh sorry I forgot -forgot what? that ive had kids for the past 3+ years?

I would love to disable the bell but then we wouldnt hear the UPS guy and stuff, problematic....

I am just so annoyed about this, even a day later. It just really got to me.

Mimisinger

Thu, Dec 04 2008, 9:58 am

I think it's totally chutzpadik and your dh did the right things by refusing. Firstly you have a sign!!!! Secondly, 11pm is ridiculous!

Luckily, we never had that late at night. We get a few people coming to a door, but rarely. They have 37 shuls in our neighborhood 3x/day to go to.

As for other knockers - I had a missionary ring my bell and wake up my kid. Usually, I'm polite in saying no thank you, this time I was MAD! I said, "first of all I'm Jewish, and second you woke up my son by ringing the bell! Then I closed the door. I still left his literature in the door!. I hate that!

NativeMom

Thu, Dec 04 2008, 10:37 am

When I was living in Brooklyn we had the same problem...except we lived in a condo building and they weren't supposed to be let in. They came to my door at 10:30 pm and rang the door bell. When I didn't answer it they rang it again and again and again and again and then started knocking and rang the bell again. I was home alone with my then 5 month old son. I wasn't opening the door to anyone! but I was so fed up that I opened the door and told him it was 10:30 at night kids are sleeping and closed the door. He then knocked again and I opened it and he pointed to my neighbors door, it was a crack open and asked me if they were home. I said I don't know. He was about to open their door! but I closed it... If my husband were home he would have yelled at them...I feel bad but there's no reason the need to be ringing doorbells so late at night!

zaq

Thu, Dec 04 2008, 11:36 am

ss321 wrote:

n you explain this better? our door is steel but I dont know what this means. What "wrapping?" I would love to do this

If you have the kind of mechanical bell that is basically a box mounted on the door, you can muffle it by covering it with a thick layer of some kind of material, like a folded towel or potholder. The question is how to keep it in place. Duct tape works but looks awful. If you sew in some magnets, you can remove the cover as needed.

If the sound mechanism is not in the door, you need to find where it is and then muffle it. I wouldn't do this with an electric bell because covering electrical equipment can cause it to overheat and start a fire. It's not a huge probability with something like a doorbell, but I wouldn't risk it.

ss321

Thu, Dec 04 2008, 8:30 pm

zaq wrote:

If the sound mechanism is not in the door, you need to find where it is and then muffle it. I wouldn't do this with an electric bell because covering electrical equipment can cause it to overheat and start a fire. It's not a huge probability with something like a doorbell, but I wouldn't risk it.

yea. our outer door is metal but the sound mechanism (I know what youre talking about-lke what we had in our apartment) isnt "mounted to the door" Im gonna ask DH to find a solution. Because opening the door and saying go away isnt solving hte problem it is so not normal that I / he should have to do that-stoop to that level. but yea, like nativemom said. No joke, ifyou dont answer onthe first ring (which is the smartest move- least chance of kids waking up from one ring) he/they will keep ringing, knocking, etc, for about 5 min. its a disgusting tactic....

I know this is evil but has anyone seen the movie problem child #2? it is like 10 years old at least. or the first home alone? images of what was done to the people who rang those doorbells come to mind.... Twisted Evil

sorry but I am really bothered and sickened by the mentality that "my collecting for my family/whatever, trumps your yiddishe childrens' right to sleep at night like normal kids and I can ring a doorbell at 11 at night even if there is a sign clearly stating NOT to..."

avigailmiriam

Thu, Dec 04 2008, 8:39 pm

In my area, it's more door-to-door salespeople and missionaries than schnorrers, since I live in the Jewish equivalent of the middle of nowhere. We don't have a front door, but our landlords who own the house have a strict policy of ignoring any unexpected guests who come to the door. We were once there for an evening when the Jehovah's Witnesses came over: we just kept right on talking, and they could see us from the window.

I know this is a New York thing, but I find the idea of letting a complete stranger, even if they are Jewish, who comes to the door into you home just scary and unsafe. When I was a child, there was a rapist who attacked several women in our town posing as a door-to-door Salvation Army schnorrer.

justanothermother

Thu, Dec 04 2008, 9:39 pm

We have an electronic door bell with a removable button. We take it off at night (then forget to put it back on in the morning and miss important deliveries, but that's us.) Problem is, with no doorbell, meshulachim have no problem banging away at top volume until someone answers. Since my house is so small, any banging by the front door is loud throughout.

Here is also a problem because they always travel in pairs. But they think they will get more if they come seperately. So one will pound away, and five minutes after he leaves the other one will come.

I also get annoyed when they knock and knock during bath time, or when I'm singing shema. They won't give up because they hear people inside, but I won't leave anyone alone in the bath, and if I interrupt the bedtime routine in the middle, I get to start again from square one.

I had a meshulach try to peek in through a crack in the front curtains to see if someone was home. I gave him a piece of my mind and sent him off with nothing.

I hate that my attitude make me seem stingy and mean. I try to be a generous person, but sometimes AAARRRGH!!!

baschabad

Thu, Dec 04 2008, 10:39 pm

Yes, it's a problem! You'd think that people making tzedakah phone calls or house rounds would know when it's too late. But everyone has a different cut-off time anyway which makes it difficult. e1234 I really wouldn't think twice about knocking or ringing the bell after 6:30. UPS even comes around that time! Maybe at 8 or 9 I would try to avoid it... It's hard to know!

Maybe install a sort of spring that pops out when someone tries to ring the bell... like a Jack-in-the-Box! Tongue Out

ss321

Fri, Dec 05 2008, 6:48 am

baschabad wrote:

Maybe install a sort of spring that pops out when someone tries to ring the bell... like a Jack-in-the-Box! Tongue Out

that was what I was talking about with those two movies-
Problem Child #2 (and I havent seen this movie in at least 10 years, maybe 15), the kids divorced father invites his date over (who the "problem child" hates), and he basically gives her a not so light electric shock through the disguised "doorbell"
Home Alone-this is a really famous one the kid is left alone for xmas accidentally, and he tries to trap some robbers who target his house (thinking his family is not home), there is one scene where the guy rings the bell and s/t falls on him like honey or tar I think, then another where he touches the doorbell, its hot, and he trips down the stairs.
Again, I know I am evil for thinking such thoughts, but the chutzpah to ring someones doorbell at 11 pm and then be 'shocked' when DH explains no we ase not letting u in at this hr, there is a sign right HERE (points) saying dont ring the doorbell, and you obviously read english, or hebrew, or yiddish, OR all three so no exccuse, and for him to say well if you wont let me in, at least just give me some $ right here right now pls....I mean....in my mind = rishus. Gezel sheina? whatever....ok Im seeing I'm not hte only one suffering.

Thanks for all the ideas ladies. DH came home late last night but im going to ask him about "disabling" the electric bell at night. Also, ive thought of taping "broken" over the doorbell just at night, but then theyll just knock even more loudly, so I dont think its a solution Sad