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Anyone else here NOT superwoman?
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e1234




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 1:41 am
Quote:
My baby thinks I'm superwoman. Smile How can she not, if I'm holding her 90% of the time?


never thought about that - but yes so does my baby... he must think I'm really talented that I can do everything and hold him at the same time (including sleeping and eating)
but yes this thread talks to me... I don't really want to be superwomen but wish I could be more towards my goal of clean house, kids always eating good meals, giving kids the right amount of attention etc...
but we have to remember to do what we can and not give up (I'm talking to myself here!) when we think how impossible it is.
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HindaRochel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 9:15 am
GAMZu wrote:
The problem is, my son isn't great at bedtime. He refuses to change into PJs for a long time and I have to force him. But when he has the pressure of a chart, he makes MORE problems. And gets awfully upset for not getting a sticker.


Why does he have to get into pjs? Could he just go to bed in his underwear? Just curious. Sometimes it seems to me that we have rules where they aren't necessary. I can understand why you don't want him to sleep in his clothes from the day, but is it getting into pjs that is the problem or getting out of his day clothes and getting into bed?
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chaylizi




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 9:43 am
GAMZu wrote:
My baby thinks I'm superwoman. Smile How can s/he not, if I'm holding her 90% of the time?


I don't need to say anything. GAMZu already said it for me.
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Shimmysmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 9:43 am
I have a few of these superwoman friend types. I think the honest truth is that the only ones who can actually achieve this are the ones who have a lot of help. everyone else is just trying to just get through the day! so don't feel bad, everyone has their own set of priorities!
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chaylizi




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 9:47 am
nah, there are perfect people. they are generally the ones I make the mistake of complaining to when I feel totally incompetant. after that I don't bother complaining anymore, because everyone else is perfect & Let's not even talk about my house.
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smilingmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 10:00 am
Definetly a NOTSupermom and I think it is a badge of honor.
I enjoy spending time with my kids, I do not want to spend it cleaning.
I did have a lot of shortcuts when the kids were younger, that , now that they are grown up, they are probably appalled at. I always worked and when the kids were babies and toddlers I used to bathe them at night and put on their next days clothing, sweatsuits and the like. The next morning would be a snap.

Also, my DH does the cooking and mostly makes one pot meals. Our theory is that, the kids get hot breakfast & lunch in school, so if dinner is lacking, it's not so bad.

Cleaning & shopping is also my husband domain. He believes everything should look neat & clean, but don't try opening a closet door.
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GAMZu




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 10:21 am
HindaRochel wrote:
GAMZu wrote:
The problem is, my son isn't great at bedtime. He refuses to change into PJs for a long time and I have to force him. But when he has the pressure of a chart, he makes MORE problems. And gets awfully upset for not getting a sticker.


Why does he have to get into pjs? Could he just go to bed in his underwear? Just curious. Sometimes it seems to me that we have rules where they aren't necessary. I can understand why you don't want him to sleep in his clothes from the day, but is it getting into pjs that is the problem or getting out of his day clothes and getting into bed?
It is so freezing here, that he needs heavy fleece PJs and a couple of blankets. But yeah, he doesn't want to take off his clothes, nor allow me to do it without a fuss, either. Thanks for the suggestions, I appreciate them (I agree about unnecessary rules. He usually refuses an undershirt, and although I want cotton to be on his body and not polyester, I don't press the issue.)
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 10:23 am
GAMZu wrote:
HindaRochel wrote:
GAMZu wrote:
The problem is, my son isn't great at bedtime. He refuses to change into PJs for a long time and I have to force him. But when he has the pressure of a chart, he makes MORE problems. And gets awfully upset for not getting a sticker.


Why does he have to get into pjs? Could he just go to bed in his underwear? Just curious. Sometimes it seems to me that we have rules where they aren't necessary. I can understand why you don't want him to sleep in his clothes from the day, but is it getting into pjs that is the problem or getting out of his day clothes and getting into bed?
It is so freezing here, that he needs heavy fleece PJs and a couple of blankets. But yeah, he doesn't want to take off his clothes, nor allow me to do it without a fuss, either. Thanks for the suggestions, I appreciate them (I agree about unnecessary rules. He usually refuses an undershirt, and although I want cotton to be on his body and not polyester, I don't press the issue.)

Whenever my kids tell me they don't want to put on pajamas, I tell, okay, don't, go to sleep in your clothes, just take off your tzitzis and shoes. They're usually in pajamas within the next 5 minutes Wink . Sorry for all the commas, but I'm a commaholic.
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LibraMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 12:00 pm
Cut yourself some slack, Gold21! Your boys are very demanding!

I am so not a superwoman! Nor, do I ever want to be! I accept the help I am given.

Even as a SAHM, I am beyond overwhelmed when it comes time for my two older ones to come home from school. From 3:30 to 7:30 it is nonstop. Let me add that I do have a toddler and I nurse her and feed her and take care of her obviously every few hours, but I do let her entertain herself. I don't know if this is something you train kids to do, but my kids have always entertained themselves. I guess this is my way.

I have the laundy under control, but then again, I do laundry almost every single day. I do not cook! I give leftovers from Shabbos during the week. I also do frozen dinners.

I give my two school age kids showers as soon as they come home. They can play afterward. They eat supper and are in bed by 7. I wipe down the table, sweep and swiffer. We use disposable tableware. I do not like dishes overnight, but lately if my DH uses a real dish, I sometimes ignore it and let it sit in the sink.

The big huge tremendous housekeeping problem is the piles and piles of ironing and folding amassed over the last few years sitting on my bed and in garbage bags on the floor in my room. I finally got a cleaning lady for three hours a week and guess what? We are prioritizing the ironing! No other choice!

I will say that in a tiny apartment, I should have been far more organized and kept fewer things. This is a very cluttered place! Papers upon papers!!!!! Things in every corner!!!!!!!!!!! Hardly any closets! NO FRONT CLOSET!

I too am quite thin. I lamented to my DH last night that I feel like I'll never be pretty again. When I was single I could be pretty without makeup, my hair was almost effortless. My figure was close to perfect. But, having a DH and kids is far more important and meaningful and means the world to me!
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LibraMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 12:05 pm
I'd like to add that even though DH is out till 11 most work nights, he does the shopping and helps on the weekends. He serves the Shabbos meals, prepares the salads and washes all the dishes from Shabbos on Motzai Shabbos. He prepares a nice brunch on sundays and is in charge of supper that day too. We go out once a week, which is something I look forward to like crazy!
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Mrs. XYZ




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 12:33 pm
I really dont believe that ANYONE is perfect, even those that may look like superwomen from the outside. Maybe some are more 'geshikt' than others. But everyone 'cuts corners' somewhere else. Some have lots of cleaning help, some just have easier children....
I've seen it so many times on those who are supposedly superwomen, and then I see little things which makes me realize that they are not all that perfect. I have a friend who is supposedly such a superwoman, and I was once watching her wash dishes and I was thinking "she could really come take lessons by me on how to wash dishes!" she does everything rushed but a mediocre job, while I do things more slowly but more perfectly. So she might look more geshikt.
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cookielady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 12:56 pm
Once we went to take dd to airport to leave for camp. The packing of her stuff was an all encompassing experience. Literally every room in the house had been used at some point. We left the house in a rush to go to airport and it was a mess. One son was home himself and he thought he heard someone in the house. He called 911. When the cops came and walked into the living room, they thought the house had been ransacked. embarrassed Poor son had to explain "no, this is my mother's work". BH no one had gotten into the house.

The worst part in my mind is that the police officer was a women. I'm sure every time she patrols by our house she thinks "That's where the slobs live".
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dainty diva




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 1:02 pm
I like this story lol
I'm on diet, I think ur avatar isn't fair ,it's giving me the cravings!!!
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TzenaRena




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 1:19 pm
[quote"Gold21"]mom is calm and put together and breastfeeding her seventeenth kid in eighteen years (she would bever give formula chas veshoelaces), she gives each kid enough attention.....and wait, she works full time too![/quote] did you see the interview with Simi Zalmanov from Tzfat? (I think Mishpacha did that one). Is that what you're referring to? Smile What was nice about that video was that you see the kids are all playing on the floor, and relaxed, helping each other, but the house is far from fancy, just practical. She does use charts, of which responsibilities and chores each child has, who makes sandwiches, helps the other children. She delegates. that's her secret.


Quote:
I've seen it so many times on those who are supposedly superwomen, and then I see little things which makes me realize that they are not all that perfect. I have a friend who is supposedly such a superwoman, and I was once watching her wash dishes and I was thinking "she could really come take lessons by me on how to wash dishes!" she does everything rushed but a mediocre job, while I do things more slowly but more perfectly. So she might look more geshikt
I'm the more thorough type, but my dh is impressed by overall neatness. He'd never notice if I left burnt on gunk on a pot.
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btMOMtoFFBs




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 11 2008, 1:27 pm
Gold, you are in a stage that almost everyone goes through with toddlers, babies in the house. That in itself is a full time job, on top of any housework, and finding a spare minute for yourself.

Repeat this mantra whenever it gets frustrating... "its just a stage, its just a stage...."

The days are long and the years are short when you're home all day with little kids. A few years from now when your kids are in school you won't totally remember how hard it all was.
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anonymom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 12 2008, 12:46 am
I just love this thread. Makes me feel so like I belong! Just to add my 2 cents, I straightened up abit tonight, but I literally did nothing for Shabbos, other than the soup and challah in the freezer and the prepared chicken I ordered. And I'm out doing errands all day tomorrow since Friday is my day off. No cleaning lady. I do a little here and there when the mood strikes. Like a few others I am lucky to have a husband who is undemanding and never complains.
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HindaRochel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 12 2008, 12:49 am
GAMZu wrote:
HindaRochel wrote:
GAMZu wrote:
The problem is, my son isn't great at bedtime. He refuses to change into PJs for a long time and I have to force him. But when he has the pressure of a chart, he makes MORE problems. And gets awfully upset for not getting a sticker.


Why does he have to get into pjs? Could he just go to bed in his underwear? Just curious. Sometimes it seems to me that we have rules where they aren't necessary. I can understand why you don't want him to sleep in his clothes from the day, but is it getting into pjs that is the problem or getting out of his day clothes and getting into bed?
It is so freezing here, that he needs heavy fleece PJs and a couple of blankets. But yeah, he doesn't want to take off his clothes, nor allow me to do it without a fuss, either. Thanks for the suggestions, I appreciate them (I agree about unnecessary rules. He usually refuses an undershirt, and although I want cotton to be on his body and not polyester, I don't press the issue.)


Maybe take them off under the covers. Warm the bed first, with maybe an electric blanket or heating pad, just a few minutes (or show him how to) brush off any sand or dirt that is stuck to him, or have him do so, and then have him change under the covers. If it is cold he probably doesn't want to freeze! That I can understand. I turn on the hot water and stand under it to warm myself up, then hug a towel around me and get under the covers to warm up.

I can't stand being cold.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 12 2008, 7:23 am
Quote:

You know those superwoman types...fancy suppers most nights, house immaculate, kids well dressed and well behaved, healthy snacks are served, kids eat properly according to the Food Pyramid, including fruit, veggies, and milk, mom is calm and put together and breastfeeding her seventeenth kid in eighteen years (she would bever give formula chas veshoelaces), she gives each kid enough attention.....and wait, she works full time too! Oh let's not forget that she is intimate with her dh fourty four times a week, cuz her kids go to sleep like clockwork at 8 pm, and sleep thru the night naturally.


do they even exist?
I think you can be ok to great on all topics, but not great davka on all.

These women probably neglect one or more of these areas:
-their own kids
-their husband
-themselves
-people outside of their house

I personally am not familiar with anyone doing fancy suppers regularly and keeping the food pyramid!
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 12 2008, 7:54 am
I'm in no way super women - for real - dh and my kids can attest to that. But my ILs think I am and other people also do. Most women who appear to be super women are really just putting up a good front and have some tricks up their sleeves (this is my secret). Nobody can be perfect in every (or even most) area.
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poemmom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 12 2008, 8:37 am
Not superwoman? Me, me and ME!!!
I would ask to be president of the not-superwoman club, but honestly, I just couldn't handle that much responsibility. I'll try to come to a meeting, though. Oops, I was late -- sorry, but DD had to nurse one more time, then she pooped all over her clothes. But her sweaters were all in the wash, so I had to put on DS's vest with trucks. Oh, and please excuse the crumbs on DS--I had to give him a cookie on the way. Um, excuse me, my cell is ringing. Hello? (Shh! I'm on the phone!) ) Bake cookies for older daughter's class? (No! No more cookies! Shh!) Um, sure! Beep. Oh, great. I was worried about getting dinner ready, when am I going to do cookies? And that will really add to the pile of dishes... Oops, and I'm out of flour! Well, it was nice being here but its time to go!
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