getting things done

amother

Tue, Jan 31 2006, 9:20 pm

For those of you who have more than one child, how do you manage to get things done, be organized, work, have time for yourself, keep a clean house etc??
I have ONE child right now and feel so overwhelmed, constantly cleaning, cooking, making lists of things that need to get done- which half of them aren't. Plus I'm working part time- we need the money so I cant quit that and like it. I could go on and on, but mainly I just cant imagine being busier, more tired and more overwhelmed.
So, any advice?? Am I alone, what am I doing wrong, please tell me!

proudmom

Tue, Jan 31 2006, 9:40 pm

I know exactly how you feel. BH I have 3 children. 2 of them are in school. Its hard on me to. I just try to do as much as I can do in one day. I make a list of things that have to be done and I try to accomplish as much as I can do. If I dont finish it all I do the rest the next day. You can also make a list. You put on it Sunday thu Friday and on each day you put something that has to be accomplished and everyday you just focus on that thing. you wont feel too overwhelmed. Hatzlacha Rabba.

goldrose

Tue, Jan 31 2006, 9:48 pm

I have discovered a big organizer-help. So far I dont know of anyone who likes my idea, but I find it very helpful -

I used to find that my lists were turning into my childrens coloring papers, and I couldnt find my lists anymore! Well, one day I adopted my husband's old palm, and VOILA, my lists are organized. The palm has a glow in the dark, so I lie down with my kids to put them to sleep, and while I am singing them songs, I organize my lists - cross of what was done, and add new things. This includes not only what needs to be done, but also what needs to be shopped for - household items and food etc. I also keep long-term lists in there for example - I have a list of all the things that need to be done on erev shabbos (wrap up the soup, turn of certain lights, set the timer, put the cholent on low etc etc). Another example is a list of things I need to pack when traveling, so I dont have to ALWAYS re-write that list and re-think of what we need to take!
I love my palm!

happymom

Tue, Jan 31 2006, 10:40 pm

Quote:

For those of you who have more than one child, how do you manage to get things done, be organized, work, have time for yourself, keep a clean house etc??

its very hard to be organized and have time for yourself, have a clean house, spend lots of time with your kids AND WORK without getting very tired and overwhelmed! being a mother is one FULL TIME JOB, and working even part time, makes that job alot harder! I understand you said you have to work now... but if there ever comes a time you don't have to, or can make money another way, like tutoring when kids are asleep or something else, the house and time will be alot easier to manage and clean!!!!! the way you feel is normal \though u I can understand what you are feeling!

Crayon210

Tue, Jan 31 2006, 11:24 pm

I feel like a broken record--

Check out flylady.net

Tefila

Wed, Feb 01 2006, 12:16 am

Quote:

. If I dont finish it all I do the rest the next day. You can also make a list. You put on it Sunday thu Friday and on each day you put something that has to be accomplished and everyday you just focus on that thing. you wont feel too overwhelmed. Hatzlacha Rabba

Proud ditto Very Happy

Goldrose prob is, the men in my house have the palm so that leaves me palmless Sad

happyone

Wed, Feb 01 2006, 8:33 am

I have found you have to learn to 'let go' of certain habits. If you are working, get your husband used to frozen meals. Don't cook every day, defrost some hectic days frozen meals, if you re-bake chicken for twenty minutes or so, it tastes perfectly fresh.
Take some extra cleaning help once in a while if you could afford it.
It DOES get easier to learn the juggling act - it'll come with time (unless another baby comes first Wink

).
See if your husband can undertake some responsibility.
and make it a priority to spend time with your spouse and time for yourself. It'll get you further than a spotless house, and organized closets!

technic

Wed, Feb 01 2006, 8:59 am

goldrose - PLEASE come and run my hse!!!!

amother I know this wont help (but maybe it will make u smile) - when we had 1 child, someone (w LOTS kyh) told us that one child takes 100% of ur time and after that it doesnt matter HOW many more u have cos u have no time anyway!!! Exclamation

chen

Wed, Feb 01 2006, 11:16 am

1. Prioritize. Decide what makes you craziest (dirty floor? laundry? scattered toys?) and take care of that first. Do the rest whenever.

2. Declutter and downsize. Most of us have too much of everything--toys, clothes, chachkes, even furniture. This time of year lots of gmachs are collecting, hint, hint...Every article you get rid of is one you don't have to pick up, clean, fix and put away.

when acquiring anything, follow the one-in,one-out rule: if you buy a new dress or the kids get a new toy, give away an old one. (this rule does not apply to the actual children LOL

)

3. Delegate. DH and children have to pull their weight. Even a 2-y/o can pick up toys and throw them into a laundry basket.

4. Piggyback jobs. Cutting onions for eier-mit-tzibbel? Cut a few more onions and freeze them for soup. Checking rice? check two cups instead of one, put the extra one in a ziplock bag and put in the freezer. next time you make a rice dish, you'll have ready-inspected rice at your fingertips. If you're threading a needle for a mending job, thread a few extra, wind around a small piece of cardboard, and use the next time you have something to mend.

5. Give yourself permission to use convenience foods and products. It's not a mitzvah to do everything from scratch.

6. Practice "hit-and-run cleaning". Keep a spritz bottle, a shmatte, and a sponge handy. dust or spritz and wipe any small area when you happen to notice it. You needn't clean the entire wall right now, just clean off the offensive spot where the cocoa splashed. Or dust off the desk lamp as you walk by.

7. ask your pediatrician what and how much your kids really need to eat. hot cooked meals are nice but not always necessary. cereal and milk with a few slices of pepper on the side can be a perfectly fine supper.

8. keep making those lists! they are a great organizing tool. but understand and accept that you may not get to everything on the list.

9. make the most of your commute. if you take mass transit, you can read, write letters, make to-do lists, plan menus--or just sleep.

10. Lighten up! Readjust your standards and don't sweat the small stuff. Will wearing an unironed shirt or mismatched socks to school harm a 6-year-old's developing psyche? Doubtful. (I never bothered ironing my children's everyday clothes when they were little. I figured that until they were in the parasha of shidduchim or job interviews, all that mattered was that they were clean and not torn. at some point, my teenage sons decided that they liked the look of ironed clothing and matched socks. they now iron their own. very nicely, I might add.)

11. at the risk of offending many, many moms of daughters: cut your daughter's hair short until she's old enough to take care of it herself. yes, the pigtails and ponytails and curls and barrettes and bows and scrunchies are so cute--and time consuming. better a short, cute style that you can just brush and go.

12. In an emergency, cheat. use nice big boxes or bins to hide stuff till you can put it away where it belongs. use the sole of your shoe to sweep the biggest dust bunnies into a pile if there's no time to vacuum the floor. iron just the front of a blouse if you are wearing a suit and will not be taking the blouse off.

13. Surround yourself with low-maintenance belongings. If you don't mind tarnished silver, good for you. If you do mind it, wrap up and store out of sight whatever you don't use regularly. when the kids are bigger, let them polish it.

14. ask yourself: does this task contribute to our health, happiness, safety, security, legal compliance, or spiritual well-being? if the answer is "no"-- skip it.

15. repeat as needed: gam zeh yaavor.

goldrose

Wed, Feb 01 2006, 11:26 am

chen - phenomenal ideas. I cut my little girls' hair and they were excited the first day, after that they said they want long hair again! so now we're growin it! But I totally agree - cut it while they're young, less maintenance!

And your other ideas are brilliant, too. Thanks!

queen

Wed, Feb 01 2006, 11:28 am

I'm not telling amother not to come on this site LOL, however last week I stayed off the entire week and got so much stuff done......
Maybe try putting a time limit on here for yourself, as time goes by VERY fast while cruising the Imamother pages!!!!!
(just a suggestion)

and on that note..... I'm getting off this site as I've got stuff to do!!!!! Salut

chen

Wed, Feb 01 2006, 11:48 am

queen wrote:

I'm getting off this site as I've got stuff to do!!!!! Salut

LOL...queen, you are so right! TG we didn't even have a computer when my guys were babies.

chen

Wed, Feb 01 2006, 11:58 am

goldrose wrote:

And your other ideas are brilliant, too. Thanks!

Aww, gee

thanks.
A friend of mine said she was going to invent a self-cleaning dining table. It would be made of stainless steel and be connected to the plumbing. After the meal, you'd press a button and the tabletop would sink down to form a big tub. water jets in the side would flush the table with scalding water and send all residue down into the garbage-disposal/drain. air jets would dry the table, after which you'd press a button to raise the table surface back up.

I'm going to be the first customer.

raizy

Wed, Feb 01 2006, 9:21 pm

I do what I have to do in order to survive and everything else there is always a "TOMMOROW"

but ooh do I long for those days when I "only"had two kids. I had them up and dressed and ready. and waiting outside bye 8:15 a.m. not p.m. and my house was already cleaned up...

and now if I can get everyone dressed fed and ready for the bus whenever those buses arrive . I count myselve lucky....

amother

Thu, Feb 02 2006, 11:59 am

This is the original amother. I want to thank you all for your replies.

Proudmom-you're right about taking it one day at a time. I guess with all the things I need to do each day, it's hard, but I'll have to slow down somehow.
Goldrose- great idea but we dont have a palm Wink

Happymom- thanks for understanding
Happy1- frozen meals are a great idea, I'll have to learn what and how to freeze. Also, what you said about relearning how to juggle things when another baby comes- thats exactly what I'm worried about! Confused

Chen- I want to thank you so much for taking the time to type all these tips. I've printed the list and will keep it handy!
Queen- How right you are, I've been starting to limit my time on this site.

I also decided to do the Shabbos shopping on Wed. nights which makes things much less of a rush before Shabbos. By the way, my husband is very helpful- that's not the problem at all. Thank G-D, I'm blessed in that area and tell him that often.

Crayon210

Thu, Feb 02 2006, 12:04 pm

What a nice follow-up post!

amother

Thu, Feb 02 2006, 12:19 pm

Well I figured if people took the time to post replies, I should take the time to write a nice reply. (Maybe thats where all my time is going!) Wink

Crayon, I'm sorry I forgoto to reply to what you wrote: I havent checked that site out yet, but I will.

Crayon210

Thu, Feb 02 2006, 12:26 pm

Thanks, no problem. Enjoy! (Believe it or not, I can say that about washing dishes in the morning...hmm.)

chen

Thu, Feb 02 2006, 2:46 pm

amother wrote:

my husband is very helpful- that's not the problem at all. Thank G-D, I'm blessed in that area and tell him that often.

does he have single brothers? I know lots of single girls Wink

TzenaRena

Fri, Feb 03 2006, 7:49 am

Goldrose, you've made me realize how much I miss my palm. Sad

But even when I had one, I wasn't much more organized. (It definitely helped a little). Which one do you have? And is there a cheap one you can reccommend that has a built in keyboard? ( graffiti writing is a pain.)