Thank you card question

amother

Tue, Jan 06 2009, 2:32 pm

I gave birth late July. Got lots of nice gifts. Started writing my thank you notes almost right away, knocking out a few a day until they were all done. I have a stack of them still sitting here that were written in August or early September but never mailed. Why? These particular thank you's are written to friends and co-workers of my MIL, as well as a couple of her distant relatives who my husband is not in contact with and would not have a clue of their address.

I asked my MIL many times to provide me with the addressess for these people. I emailed her the list of names, left a few messages on her answering machine. Mentioned it in passing several times when I saw her. Still don't have any info from her.

So, first of all, I guess I have to hound her some more until she finally gives me the addresses I need. I am going to call her every single day now until I get them.

But then once I get them (which I hope will be soon), do I just send the thank you note out with no explanation of why they are getting it so many months later? I wrote them before Rosh Hashana in most cases and they probably say Kasiva v'chasima tova on most of them. Do I have to write new ones? Add an apology to the old cards saying sorry so late, but I didn't have your address for so long (which I guess either makes me or my MIL look incompetent).

I guess what I'm asking is, what is the proper way to procede now and is there some way I can send out thank you's this late without looking stupid?

imokay

Tue, Jan 06 2009, 3:16 pm

I read somewhere that tho the cards r better off being sent soon after, according to etiquette laws, u have 6 months. so I wud rewrite them, so they dont seem old, but a late thank u is better than none. perhaps write a cute poem about how bh with so many sleepless nights, u finally got around to it bc u just had to make sure to thank them for their great gifts. this way it's a cute and valid reason y so late but at lest the ppl get appreciated...

manhattanmom

Wed, Jan 07 2009, 9:29 am

I don't know if a "cute poem" is appropriate for your MIL's coworkers.

Also, maybe some of the addresses are listed? I've found lots of people's addresses on whitepages.com without even knowing where they lived when I wrote thank you notes and didn't want to wait for people to provide me with addresses that were probably incorrect (outdated) anyway.

queen

Wed, Jan 07 2009, 12:58 pm

with a new baby who has time to rewrite all those notes.
Personally, I'd send out the original notes, but put a short note on back of envelope apologizing for delay, saying it took you time to locate the address!

People appreciate your taking the time to send thank you notes, even if they are late. Still send.

imokay

Wed, Jan 07 2009, 5:08 pm

just to make sure we r thinking of cute the same way, I mean cute as in, light hearted and easy going (ie: Thank you for your gift,
we appreciated it so much,
It was just the thing we needed,
it was the perfect touch.
But alas there was a delay,
In the thank you coming through,
We were just so sleep deprived,
With just so much to do.
But better late than never,
Is our attitude,
because we are really really grateful,
and full of gratitude.)

as opposed to cutesy wutsy (ie: here's a little thankie
while the baby suck his blankie.
We were just so sleepy sleepy
from our baby's weepy weepy
But the gift was super duper
(Though our baby is a pooper!)
So better now than never,
We will be friends forever!
For we're thankful as can be,
let'all shout yippe!)

and I agree. get the adresses yourself or better, tell dh to get them 4 u from her and make it his job.

amother

Thu, Jan 08 2009, 12:14 am

IMHO the important thing is that you are sending them. Someone in our family refused to write thank you notes for the wedding and didn't write or call to say thank you for birthday gifts Confused

and now the family and friends will not give gifts to this person anymore. It's a very sad situation that I'm sure will lead to bad feelings somewhere down the line. Sad

As for thank you notes for after a baby I think people understand if it takes a bit of time for them to get out.

MrsDuby

Fri, Jan 09 2009, 4:24 pm

Imokay -- that poem is ADORABLE !!!!!!!! really really really cute !!!!!

im actually working on sheva brochos invitations for my brother in law (we're making for him) and id love to include a sappy / cheesy poem in the beginning of the invitation... (something about how we love to hate love poems or something .... got anyting on file ? Smile

amother

Fri, Jan 09 2009, 6:01 pm

I still have not written thankyou notes for my chasuna

But I think I have a mental block, Because it was something my mom forced me to do as a child.

I am in a second time around marriage, so I did not go into a 2 people home building together. I went into a home with lots of kids.. I have called people and said thank you, but of course my mom says I should still write thankyou notes

twokids

Sun, Jan 11 2009, 9:57 pm

I think persinal thank yous' are the best when you are to busy for written ones. for me they are a lot easier after a baby I just call the person up when I get the present and we end up talking for a few min. also go to 411 and find the address that you are looking for your mil obviusly isn't going to help you so why are you banging your head against the wall with that one.

good luck