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Friends are scaring me that most of Flatbush is snobby
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ss321




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 07 2009, 9:25 pm
Im alot younger than you so its hard for me to "relate" to your situation, I dont want to sound insensitive, but having grown up here , I dont find that to be teh case. This is New York, people can act tough around here, wherever you go. I think it varies from block to block. We live on a "friendly" block, it is like being in camp, its fun, we have friends our age, and while I do hear what you are saying abt people judging by the size of the house you live in, I think that really depends on where you are living and who your friends are. There are those who are more judgemental and those who are not. My parents and in laws both liveon wonderful blocks as well. I have one cousin who lives on an especially snobby block (like what you describe), but even she, after living htere for 4 years, has made a few friends. But yea, its the "type" that ifyou dont have a lexus or acura parked in the driveway....But there are people in BP who are like that, dont kid yourself! I wouldnt rule out an entire "community" (I am reluctant to call flatbush a community!) based on what you are describing, but when you look at houses, speak to potential neighbors, take a look around you. We certainly did, and that was one of the factors that played a huuuge role into where we moved.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 07 2009, 11:40 pm
Please stop badmouthing Ave R & the high twenties. I live there too. It is a very friendly neighborhood if you have your friends here. I happen to hate it because I am living in the wrong neighborhood for me, I have little in common with most of my very nice but not my type block. My type of friends hightailed it out of Brooklyn as soon as they got married but I am stuck here for now.

And that is my advice to you OP, I think you will like it but pick your block well, dont choose just the house. If the block has possible friends for you, you will be happier.
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Leahh




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 11 2009, 8:34 pm
I live in Flatbush and have family in BP. I've also moved within Flatbush.
Personally I don't think there is really a difference betweent the way ppl act in BP and Flatbush (or anywhere else for that matter) in the specific way you are talking about. I think it is has to be judged based on the individual block and the ppl that live there.
Like somone else mentioned - drive around on a nice day about 5pm and see if there are kids playing and mothers shmoozing in the area you would be interested. It will tell you alot about the block - like the age range of children (will they be about the same age as your kids), and ages of adults (will you feel like grandma or baby), and the types of ppl (is the other woman's hair fully covered or not, are her skirts a length you would wear). Also if there are school-aged kids you can see uniforms and you'll know if those are schools you 'approve' of and would you let your kids be friends with kids who go to those schools.
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WorkingMother




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 12 2009, 11:10 am
I agree with everyone else that the Boro Park and Flatbush blocks vary in friendliness based on the particular block. Sometimes it even varies based on which end of the block you're on. So I guess it would be wise to do your research on the block before buying a specific house.


In the broader picture, I think you should move near your family - children, siblings, etc.
Then you have automatic friends (hopefully!) and then whomever you meet is a bonus.
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DefyGravity




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 12 2009, 11:20 am
Logistically, no matter where you live, it's hard to meet people in the neighborhood and get to know people enough so that a "hi" turns into friendship.

It can take YEARS to meet a few people on the block, and unless you have kids that play together, you're not going to magically become best friends with everyone in your neighborhood.

Usually, if you want to meet people, you'll have to be proactive and make a large effort to even learn their names, let alone get to know them well enough to create a friendship.

Especially in a place like Flatbush, where it's easy to get lost in the shuffle, you might not even know when a new person moves into an apartment building, let alone a new neighbor.
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tzatza




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 12 2009, 12:30 pm
How about Bensonhurst (area right between BP and Flatbush). WE could use some more frum people here Very Happy
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 12 2009, 12:35 pm
maybe you should be looking at avenue R in the higher thirties.
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ClaRivka




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 12 2009, 12:40 pm
midwest wrote:
I live OOT and people here are snobby and unfriendly. It's not just a NY thing.I think you just get lucky if you have nice neighbors.


I second that. I have not had one person come up to me and try to be friends. It's all mazal...
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DefyGravity




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 12 2009, 12:46 pm
Keep in mind, it's a two-way street. You can also go up to people and try and initiate friendship. Not everyone is the type of person that will go up to every new person they see. I'm kind of shy and it's completely against my nature to go up to people and introduce myself.
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Mommastuff




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 12 2009, 12:50 pm
I have found that there are nice people to befriend in Brooklyn. It definately helps if you have a friendly block.

But I've met people at the parks, stores...

Some people are nice but shy so you have to be the one to initiate conversation. I was welcomed with a kugel when I first moved in!! (I'm from OOT and my dh likes to "remind" me of this incident and that there are nice people here cuz I was not happy about moving to Brooklyn)
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BusyBeeMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 12 2009, 1:01 pm
I think that it's wonderful if people come and give you a classic welcome with a cake and shabbos invitation and all, but realistically it won't happen in Flatbush. I'm someone who believes that it's my responsibility to go out and get to know the neighbors. When I see people walking down the block, I'll ask them if they live there, ages of their children, and introduce myself as their new neighbor. Most people are very forthcoming, and you can take it from there. Next time you see them you say hi, maybe even invite them for shabbos... Once I've even heard of a couple that came around knocking on doors and introducing themselves to their neighbors, but that's a bit too much for me. And guess what - after introducing myself, I've even had a kind neighbor send over a cheesecake (and this was in BP Surprised )! So it's worth the effort and risk of making yourself look silly. LOL

Before buying a house, ask the previous owners about the block and do some research. If the type of people fit your criteria then there's no reason why you shouldn't make friends. And I agree with the multiple posters who said it depends on the block.
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