constant need to be busy with them

mimivan

Thu, Jan 08 2009, 10:17 pm

In our home it is the 2 year old sabatoging the 5 year old. Constantly. Mad

and we have a teeny apartment...and when I tell the 5 year old, "if you want an absolute guarantee Yossi won't bug you, why don't you play in Abba's office."
But he says "No! Why should I move!"
"But you don't have to move, just if you don't want him to bug you!"
"Why can't you control him. Hold onto him He's YOUR kid. Not MINE"
...(Ahhhhhhhh!) Banging head

Someone gave me some good advice. Give attention to the trouble maker. This might sound counter-intuitive. Why "reward" the saboteur with more attention? But kids crave attention like vitamins, I read from this lady's blog, and when a kid misbehaves, it is like an attention-deficiency (not attention deficit syndrome, but a deficit from Ima's attention) akin to a vitamin deficency.

I read this as a guilt trip at first..."So how much attention am I supposed to give him..I give him so much already etc.." But some kids need more than others. My younger one needs loads of attention, but my five year old is more independent. Or it could be an age thing. It doesn't take much attention and it works. Take the little saboteur in your arms when he is getting ready to strike and tickle him (gently...I always hated to be tickled TOO much) , or play something with him...I think he'll forget about doing what he was preparing to do.

supermama2

Thu, Jan 08 2009, 10:21 pm

The advise I was given a couple of days ago as I was asking how to do it all..laundry..mopping..homeschool..4 boys kah.. is: Take it w/bracha and mazel b/c it gets harder when they grow up....

I gasped...she said that you can no longer fix problems w/ a bandaid or time out in a room...it's deeper and you still have to be there for them.

Take it w/ a grain of salt dear octo. but it was a bit eye opening for me personally..

zigi

Thu, Jan 08 2009, 10:21 pm

omg, I was thinking this today, I did it before why is it so hard now, I have a toddler an a infant. the weather is cold I have to get used to taking a newborn out of the house, I need a set time and place to get out the door otherwise I stay at home. last year it was easier to get out b/c I had a job and I had to be there.

today was good I played with my toddler, and we cleaned. its easier if you treat it like you are a babysitter forget about the house, just play.

mcmom

Thu, Jan 08 2009, 10:25 pm

[quote="octopus"] I constantly feel like I have to do something with them in order to maintain my own sanity. I have a hard time sitting on the floor and playing all day long. I always end up being the referee (I.e. keeping my two year old from hurting my baby). And when my two-year-old is playing nicely, my baby crawls over and tries to wreck whatever my 2 year old is doing. quote]

could've written this myself!

ds1 doesn't let ds2 touch anything, but ds2 only wants to touch whatever ds1 has......

Keep on saying that I have to go out, but there isn't even where.

Mommastuff

Tue, Jan 13 2009, 9:02 pm

How did I miss this thread?!
I have been going nuts trying to entertain my 2 and 3 year olds inthis cold weather.

Usually they end up turning over my apartment. I would like to let them play by themselves but it's always one thing or another that stops that. Either it's one got hurt, or one took one of the others toy/cup/whatever they're holding, or they need my help "playing".

I already know it's bad when they're quiet!! Too quiet (even only 2 minutes) and I know they're into something they are not supposed to be in!

I went to the park today and we were the only ones there! But I can't stay out for too long. I need something to do with them while inside!!
I try coloring but the crayons/pencils/pens get broken or used on something not intended for it.
I try letting them "wash" dishes but it gets too messy sometimes.
They can only last too long with their toys.

Ideas please!!

anonymom

Tue, Jan 13 2009, 9:54 pm

mimivan wrote:

In our home it is the 2 year old sabatoging the 5 year old. Constantly. Mad

I also have a two year old and a five year old. The five year old is always making the two year old cry, and much of the time the two year old has provoked him. It is so not fair to always blame him and expect him to act like the big one. I dont know what to do anymore.

As zigi said, cleaning is a great activity. Two year olds love if you let them have a spray bottle (with water)

shayna82

Tue, Jan 13 2009, 10:12 pm

some suggestions:

make a routine for your two year old with some activities thrown in for your baby. not sure if you mentioned how old he/she is.

like 2:00-2:20- playdo
2:30- snack
2:40- color with him/her
3:00- play hide and seek
3:25- read to him, take out books, puzzles

sometimes stuff just sits around and these times would be perfect to take it out

also, make cookies, I started making playdo for the school here and I make for my house too, its fun and the kids enjoy it.

organize stuff with your oldest....

bath time can be a fun time too, and it can take up lots of time, get bath crayons and some fun toys...

my kids like cleaning , and they actually do . I let them use the "green" sprays, and they clean my bathroom for me, just basics ya know- they are 5 and 3. and the 18 month old just plays along, but dosnt really do anything.

p.m. me