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Should I feel guilty?



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amother


 

Post Sun, Jan 11 2009, 1:45 pm
A family where I live hosted my children and I for Shabbos. (DH is away and they found out I would be alone, so invited us to stay there) It was a beautiful, amazing Shabbos. Unfortunately, there was no time to clean up the playroom before we left. I needed to be somewhere with my children immediately after Shabbos, and did not realize until Shabbos was ending, that they keep an extra half hour, further lessening the time I had to get where I needed to be. Normally, I would have had my children clean everything, but there was simply no time. I did clean our bedrooms, make the beds, and take any trash out of the bedrooms. My hostess was very impressed with how well the rooms looked. In fairness to my children, there was also another mother and her children there. She did not attempt to clean anything with her kids, and left well before I did. She also did not have anywhere she needed to be. My hostess said not to worry at all, but I still feel so bad! Help me not feel guilty anymore! This is not the way I like to do things, and I feel horrible leaving her with a mess! (even though it wasn't the mess of just my children!)
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 11 2009, 1:48 pm
Don't feel bad. The main thing is that you made the beds and the room was clean. You did try your best. If you talk to her again then you can apologize.
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justmom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 11 2009, 1:49 pm
I would have cleaned up as I went along on Shabbos-- if the kids take one toy out it's not until they put the other one away-- that way there's not a huge mess for you/your hostess to take care of after Shabbos
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jan 11 2009, 1:57 pm
justmom wrote:
I would have cleaned up as I went along on Shabbos-- if the kids take one toy out it's not until they put the other one away-- that way there's not a huge mess for you/your hostess to take care of after Shabbos


This is what my kids did all Shabbos long! Then the other mom and her kids came, and it was much more difficult to keep up with the mess! She had a much more difficult time controlling how much stuff was taken out than I did with my kids.
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justmom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 11 2009, 2:17 pm
Then of course you shouldn't feel guilty-- it wasn't your mess!
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louche




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 12 2009, 9:02 am
Chill. You sound like a great guest, you did more than many guests would do, and feeling guilty serves no purpose. Why not call your hostess to thank her for a lovely shabbos, and while you're at it explain why you left without cleaning up the playroom. Then send a nice gift as a "korban chatas" if the apology doesn't relieve the guilt feelings. (In any case, it sounds as if your kids didn't make the mess, so I really don't understand why you feel guilty.)
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