we pass the cup around

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

We pass the cup around

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View latest: 24h 48h 72h

how do you pass around kiddush ??

everybody pours their own so no germs

13%

[ 11 ]

pour in separate cup then pass around

37%

[ 31 ]

pass out & then share only with family

21%

[ 18 ]

drink & pass the germs

15%

[ 13 ]

other - please share

12%

[ 10 ]

Total Votes : 83

freidasima

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 11:05 am

Dh pours from becher to cup and drinks from cup. Men all make their own kiddush and either drink themselves or give to wives however they want. Dh gives me the becher and I pour out from it to my mother's cup and give it to the girls who pour out to their own cups.

I don't drink. Ever. At my wedding and since then, grape juice on pesach and that's it. On shabbos and yuntif I'm yotzei with him. If I'm on my own for some reason like he's abroad or when he used to be on miluim I would make kiddush on rolls. I HATE wine or grape juice. no hiddur mitzva for me there...

Imaonwheels

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 11:32 am

It is said that the maamar Heichaltzu, on the nature and tikkun of sinas chinam, was written because one chossid refused to drink from the glass of the other. When mil is visiting we do it the California clean way - dh says kiddush, pours most in another glass and drinks from the becher. I also drink from the becher and he pours from the second cup to her, her husband and other guests. My boys make their own kiddush. They only slightly shudder at me also drinking from his becher but I insist.

chavs

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 11:45 am

dh pours some into another cup because of pogum, then drinks from the becher and then pours to seperate cups to pass around

greenfire

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 11:59 am

what's a pogom ???

Imaonwheels wrote:

It is said that the maamar Heichaltzu, on the nature and tikkun of sinas chinam, was written because one chossid refused to drink from the glass of the other.

I love maamar heichaltzu - maybe a bunch of men by a farbrengen are different ... however there has to be enough ahavas yisroel to see that people at your table can stomach the shabbos seuda after kiddush ...

chocolate moose

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 12:21 pm

Pogom = disgusting

greenfire

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 12:58 pm

I've seen people have 2 bechars ... one where they make kiddush and the other to pour into so that the kovod of drinking isn't minimized by a lesser valued cup ...

octopus

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 6:56 pm

yes, when there are guests, dh pours into another cup- like another poster said it is pagum. Halachacally, it is considered disgusting. You are SUPPOSED to pour it into another cup!

flowerpower

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 7:12 pm

What is wrong with the mother and child drinking from the same bechor? It's family!

amother

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 9:48 pm

When we have company Dh pours off some for company then drinks from becher and gives to me to drink.
By my il's when they pass around the becher in age order. When there's company my fil pours off for them before he drinks.
By my parents my father drinks from the becher then adds some more grapejuice to it and my mom pours into everyones cup. When theres company my father pours off for himself instead of drinking from the becher.
When I have my own family I would like to do more like my parents but dunno whats ganna be. The idea of everyone drinking from the same becher is pretty gross to me. Although I'll be the first to drink after Dh so won't be a prob for me.

montrealmommy

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 10:03 pm

I thought that when a woman was niddah she cannot drink from the same cup as her husband.

Dh makes kiddush then pours out into a prepared cup that already has some wine/gj then we pass that cup around for each person to pour into his/her cup.

amother

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 10:21 pm

montrealmommy wrote:

She is allowed to drink from his cup he is not allowed to drink from hers. Wine is a little more complicated and she can drink from his cup but he can't in anyway indicate that its for her. He can't put it down in front of her or tell her to take it. He has to put it down and she has to take it on her own. Also I believe that when he pours it he is not allowed to think that he's pouring it for her.

melalyse

Wed, Jan 28 2009, 9:22 pm

DH pours from into everyones cup from the bottle before kiddush and everyone has their little cup in front of them before kiddush. DH drinks his whole cup himself.

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