"Love and Logic" | Imamother

gryp

Wed, Dec 08 2004, 11:59 am

anyone ever hear of this system? im wondering if I should get some books. it sounds very practical and like it works. what do you think of it?

www.loveandlogic.com

hadasa

Wed, Dec 08 2004, 2:46 pm

I've heard some women praise it highly. The basic premises seem to me to be be pretty similar to Faber and Mazlish.

roza

Sun, Mar 13 2005, 2:22 am

just got a workbook on "love and logic" . very good stuff.

ektsm

Sun, Feb 12 2006, 3:21 pm

I read this book "Love and Logic" and thought it was total misagas. WHat do you think?

didan

Sun, Feb 12 2006, 3:23 pm

B"H

Please explain why you thought it was a Mishugas. I thought it was very intelligent and in tune with the needs of children (and adults as well for that matter).

I've put it into practice with my children, with very positive and successful results.

Mandy

Sun, Feb 12 2006, 4:35 pm

Love and logic works with many children, it is used all over the world and is considered a very valid approach to parenting.

florida1

Sun, Feb 12 2006, 4:47 pm

use it and it works!

goldrose

Sun, Feb 12 2006, 6:12 pm

ektsm - would love to hear why you think it's mishugas? have you tried it with bad results?

jewgal84

Mon, Feb 13 2006, 9:22 pm

IMO- "Love and Logic" is a really resourceful book. I've learned alot from it and it definately helps family members and the kids I work with.

You can't just expect it to read the book and voila! You have to work on it first. It may esp. be harder if you're starting it later in a kids life, where the kids are used to diff. methods.

Definately worth it!!!

Quote:

ektsm - would love to hear why you think it's mishugas? have you tried it with bad results?

I would love to know the answer!

TzenaRena

Mon, Feb 13 2006, 9:26 pm

What's the underlying theme of L&L? I remember when the PET classes were all the rage. (Parent Effectiveness training) It was big on active listening, "who owns the problem", and democracy between parent and child. I was turned off by the implication that exercising authority is wrong. I'm not sure if it was based on Chaim Ginot.

Faber and Maizlish is based on Chaim Ginot. I don't have a great feeling about Ginot. But I'd have to read it again to remember why.

I think we have to bear in mind that as effective as any of these programs are, they are not Torah,just tools and don't need to be quoted with reverence. They are trends, or fashions in the world of psycology. If they help, good, but that should be the extent of it. They should never replace or override Torah values or principles.

jewgal84

Mon, Feb 13 2006, 9:33 pm

L&L is a method on how to talk to your children and deal with their challenges through choices and restrictions.

What's that got to do with overiding Torah Values and Principals?

Mandy

Mon, Feb 13 2006, 9:37 pm

Classic L&L is taking a child to school in pajamas if he's constantly not ready on time.

amother

Mon, Feb 13 2006, 9:43 pm

its depends on how it is carried out, I read up on it some and implemented it some and it was useful but I surely dont agree with it alll
I have a friend who uses it on her kids, they listen for a mintue and not much moire and they are "vilde chayos". I think there are some gr8 ideas for us to pick and choose from for each child is different
some kids yes they need a "patch" to set htem in place osme dont and no I dont beleive its abuse to put a kid in hteir place, just b careful howi ts done

goldrose

Mon, Feb 13 2006, 10:08 pm

Quote:

Faber and Maizlish is based on Chaim Ginot. I don't have a great feeling about Ginot. But I'd have to read it again to remember why.

Ginot is my hero!

As with all parenting methods and books, you take what works, and leave what you dont want. If it's not torah, you leave it. Just because a book is GOOD or even GREAT, it doesnt mean every single thing about the books is right. You HAVE to be selective.

Love and Logic has been a BIG help in my house. When some things go wrong (depends what) I dont rush to fix my child's problem. I first say, "oh my! that must be so upsetting. what are you going to do about it?" and then if the child doesnt know, I may offer some suggestions. Suggesting is as far as it gets, though. I can't force anyone to do anything.

hisorerus

Mon, Feb 13 2006, 10:08 pm

You need to take all of these "systems" with a grain of salt, but the most solid ones, IMHO are:
Love & Logic
How to Talk So Kids ... (Faber & Mazlish)
Raising Your Spirited Child

It's not Toras Moshe, and you need to read critically, but those three are the best I've seen.

goldrose

Mon, Feb 13 2006, 10:14 pm

I'll add another book to that by haim ginot: between parent and child. Keep it in your bathroom, and read it over and over!

zissy2004

Mon, Jun 05 2006, 7:48 am

my dh is coming to the US and I want him to buy me the book. Where do I tell him to go? He'll be in Boro park. And how much would it cost?

the 3 Love and Logic threads were combined - mod

didan

Mon, Jun 05 2006, 8:30 am

B"H

There are a number of books. If your kids are young, I'd recommend starting out with Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood; birth through age 6.

It's not a Jewish book, so I don't know if Jewish bookstores would carry it. You can order it online here. https://www.loveandlogic.com/e.....cat=2

In my experience, if you have a CD player, the CD's are a lot better than the books. This one (https://www.loveandlogic.com/e.....cat=2) is excellent, as is this one (https://www.loveandlogic.com/e.....cat=2).

Good luck!

mother48

Tue, Jun 06 2006, 10:10 am

I wanted to buy the love and logic, then I heard, and also saw posted online somewhere that its' based on chirstian theology. anyone can prove it's true or otherwise? I would like to buy, but I don't want to raise my kids based on c. reasoning.
thanks.

lamplighter

Tue, Jun 06 2006, 10:56 am

ive taught for 6 years both high school and priamry school and have used love and logic techniques.
my general opinion is that 1) the Theory is extraordinary, it makes a whole lot of sense. and teh presentation is very convincing
2) in general it works
3) every person must make adjustments to teh concepts before using them. for example. it claims that rules are bad, students should be taught "natrual consequence" instead. Well u know what so long as there are no rules, students and children will try everyhting to see what gets u to put ur foot down. wjat u can do is teach rules or "responsibilities" and make sure the consequence fits teh crime.
4) having the child own the problem is an incrdible tool. they messed up, tehy find a solution, and they will....
5)if followed through well children are upset at themselves instead of u when "punished"
6)teh writers of the book are both pastors - yes, in a church, found that out from a picture of them wearing"collar" and tehn researched it.
7) what I find contrary to torah values is that there is no authority, according the the thoery "a child should eb told that if I do somehting that you dont think is fair, tell your not being fair" - democracy on that level,we do not promote, I.e. there is no basis of kabolos ol or auhtority, everything needs to b understood as fair to the child...
8) one thoery is that let teh child experminet and see that they have made their own mistakes, dont punish (idea discussed in 3)... well what would one do in the case of yiddishkeit issues? let a child not daven, not do mitzvos etc?

like I prefaced, I use it, use it well but wiht common sense and adaptations, because we cannot be too liberal on the expense of jewish neshamas. if anyoen has read the books and are interested to know how I've adapted them and use them practically...feel free to pm me.
and btw yasher koach for all teh women acticly intersted in being better parents, keep reading, keep learning, and keep it up!

p.s. I am a english teacher (for the afternoon, primary) but my typing stinks and im lazy to spell check Confused