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I don't have any children of my own...
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 05 2009, 10:32 am
su7kids wrote:
Mama Bear wrote:
"OH" was okay. next time if you want to be slightly more verbose, "I'm so sorry to hear" or "taht must really be difficult" is okay too.

of course if someone says that to me, I go into a long speech about how my kids are miracles bla bla Smile


Not everyone is childless due to infertility. Some actually choose to be that way -- especially in the non frum world, and I think if someone was dealing with infertility, they wouldn't necessarily be so flippant about "I don't have any children", you would be able to see from their facial expressions that there was some pain involved.

For someone who doesn't have children by CHOICE, they could be offended by "I'm sorry to hear that!"

Just a thought.
just so you know, that is very untrue. I never "wore" my infertility on my sleeve. nobody would know the wiser if I could or could not have children without help, so I dont agree with this statement.
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AlwaysGrateful




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 05 2009, 11:21 am
Teacup9 wrote:
What parenting book Shakleesmom? Your comment about it made me laugh.


Can I guess? How to Talk So Kids Can Listen? Or something from PET (Parent Effectiveness Training)?
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Atali




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 05 2009, 11:30 am
su7kids wrote:
Mama Bear wrote:
"OH" was okay. next time if you want to be slightly more verbose, "I'm so sorry to hear" or "taht must really be difficult" is okay too.

of course if someone says that to me, I go into a long speech about how my kids are miracles bla bla Smile


Not everyone is childless due to infertility. Some actually choose to be that way -- especially in the non frum world, and I think if someone was dealing with infertility, they wouldn't necessarily be so flippant about "I don't have any children", you would be able to see from their facial expressions that there was some pain involved.

For someone who doesn't have children by CHOICE, they could be offended by "I'm sorry to hear that!"

Just a thought.


Agreed. She may not even be married. I once had a non-Jewish coworker who desperately wanted to get married and have kids, but she couldn't find anyone (she was 27), so such a comment would have hurt her.

I think a simple "thank you" would be best.
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 05 2009, 11:56 am
This is truly a no-win situation. There's no way to tell whether the woman regrets not having children or was simply making a statement of "lifestyle choice."

I agree with everyone who suggested thanking her without commenting on her statement.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 05 2009, 12:04 pm
Just smile and say thank you and continue doing what you were.
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