I can't eat my friend's food...

amother

Sun, Mar 15 2009, 10:54 am

I just don't like my friend's food. She's a really close friend and so invites us a lot for shabbos lunch (we have them too). The problem is, I really don't like the food, like I have to choke it down to be "polite." Meanwhile, I hate what I'm eating. In all of the time that we've been friends - years, and have gone to their house for meals, lots and lots, I've only liked one of her dishes and it was a side dish. What would you do? I'm probably going to just keep going and choking down her food, but what else can I do? Oh, and I offer to bring and she flat out refuses, every so often she'll let me bring something (which I then fill up on) but otherwise, there's really nothing edible.

greenfire

Sun, Mar 15 2009, 11:20 am

I don't eat anything that I don't like EVER Puke

(did it once when I was 14)

don't ask her to bring stuff - just bring it - problem solved ... or maybe eat a piece of fish before you go so you're not hungry ...

I imagine you're going for the company anyways - not the food ...

fiddle

Wed, Mar 25 2009, 8:13 am

I hate eating by people. I dont like their food. most peoples that is. anyways what I usually do is eat challah..bc honestly it cant be THAT bad...and it fills up..put some spread on it or some mayo and ur good to go.....

greenfire

Wed, Mar 25 2009, 10:44 am

Blair wrote:

Been in the same situation several times especially on Shabbos since I HATE CHOLENT and the smell from it. I just pick at it and move it around the plate and say thank you I am full from everything before.

why pick at it and paint the plate with it ... just say "no thanks" ... Idea

louche

Wed, Mar 25 2009, 12:41 pm

greenfire wrote:

Blair wrote:

why pick at it and paint the plate with it ... just say "no thanks" ... Idea

Right. If you don't take any, you don't offend anyone--you're not a cholent eater, or you're not hungry, or you're vegetarian, or, or, or. If you paint the plate with it, now that's offensive. because if you're full, as you claim, who forced you to take any? and if you weren't full and took some, then clearly you don't like it. and by smearing the plate you're just making unnecessary work for the person washing the dishes, AND you're violating bal tashchis. any way you look at it, you've offended.

as Mrs. Reagan used to say--"Just say NO"...thanks.

StrongIma

Wed, Mar 25 2009, 12:53 pm

to me it sounds like a real dilemma. She's a good friend, so you don't want to insult her and yet you really can't stomach the food anymore. Maybe tell her that your dh prefers to be the ba'la habayit and eat in his own home and try to visit her in the afternoon?

Lani22

Wed, Mar 25 2009, 1:05 pm

I had a friend like this. Her food was really terrible. At a meal by her my sister and I talked about how amazing the KBD cookbooks are and how she should really pick up a few for fun interesting recipes. Well she did and her meals just got better and better as she used more and more recipes from the books.

levial

Wed, Mar 25 2009, 1:06 pm

"Dear Friend" I am so excited about lunch this shabbos. I wouldn't tell anyone this but you, since I've known you forever..I'm having a bit of trouble with oil and salt (or chicken or onions, or whatever) - I have a few recipes that seem to stay down ok. I know as a good friend you won't be offended if I don't pile the plate high and deep - I'm trying to figure out what the issues are. In the meantime, when I come for lunch, I might not take some of the food. I am also going to bring a few things that I know are safe and won't give me a Maalox moment. Just so you know.. no biggie"
(most of us good friends will try to diagnose, offer to make changes, etc to which your reply is)
I really do appreciate that. I think the issue is something else. When I cook, it's ok, but when I eat out it's not...Please don't alter anything (unless you want to give her a chance)...just understand that I'm by you for the company, not the food!"

MiamiMommy

Wed, Mar 25 2009, 1:23 pm

levial wrote:

You don't need to start making up stories!

I agree with what other people said- just eat what you can. Challah and chumus or whatever. How hungry can you be? If you're hungry after the meal, have a snack when you get home. It's not after a fast!!!

Also, why not offer to bring something? People always appreciate that! You're sure to have something you like that way!

DefyGravity

Wed, Mar 25 2009, 1:34 pm

MiamiMommy, I agree with everything you said.

Nobody is forcing anyone to eat food they don't like. Eat challah and food that doesn't repulse you, and if you're still hungry when you get home, eat there.

I have a few place I'm invited to frequently, and the host/hostess doesn't make such great food, and oftentimes, not a lot of food either. I try and stay briefly at the shul kiddush, and if that's not possible, I eat challah and try and find something that I like. It really doesn't take much to feel satiated.

Blair

Thu, Mar 26 2009, 3:38 pm

What do you do when they put it in front of you and you say no thank you and they still give you the plate. That's why I move it around making it look like I am eating it. I wait for the hostess to turn around and then do it.

Fabulous

Thu, Mar 26 2009, 4:22 pm

DefyGravity wrote:

What do you mean? They plate the food for you? Most places I go to for meals tend to serve family style.

That's so interesting, because my parents do as well but most places I have eaten for Shabbos plate it for you. Often, though, I am helping in the kitchen and can direct what goes for myself and my dh.

Raisin

Thu, Mar 26 2009, 4:27 pm

Fabulous wrote:

DefyGravity wrote:

What do you mean? They plate the food for you? Most places I go to for meals tend to serve family style.

I think plating is so wasteful, for this reason. even the best food may not be enjoyed by everyone. plus most people serve far too much food in the fish course, follow it by a soup course and then expect people to have room for a quarter of chicken and 4 types of kugel! (I was once served such a plate of food by someone. I remember looking in dismay at this enormous plate of (delicious looking) food which even I was unable to finish and vowing to myself never to serve food on individual plates.