bring hostess gift or not???

Twoisacharm

Thu, Apr 30 2009, 12:45 pm

im going to a famliy friend for a bar mitzvah this shabbos....she wrote on the itnerary that she took care of hostess gifts (for the ppl we are staying with)

should I still bring something???

im kinda feeling the giving of flowers is still appropriate

wat say u?!?!?!?

Lady Godiva

Thu, Apr 30 2009, 12:51 pm

I would. Never go anywhere empty-handed. It's just rude. Your friend did her part in thanking the hostess for having her friend stay at her house. You should do yours too.

koalamum

Thu, Apr 30 2009, 12:52 pm

It never hurts to show a token of appreciation! You don't even have to spend much money, but I think the hostess will feel good about the thought and effort it took to get the flowers or chocolate...

RachelEve14

Thu, Apr 30 2009, 12:54 pm

When I hosted people for a simcha the ba'al hasimcha gives a small gift, and the family staying with me usually leaves something small also (bottle of wine). I wouldn't bring flowers unless you know they are going to be home. Every time we have hosted it's been because we are away and just loaning our apartment, so by the time we got back the flowers wouldn't have been good anymore.

Thu, Apr 30 2009, 12:56 pm

It's the thought that counts and flowers are nice even if they are not home just something to show you apreciated the use of their home

Twoisacharm

Thu, Apr 30 2009, 12:59 pm

oh I didnt think of that - flowers dieing......BUT they are home as far as I am aware

mayb bartentura??? is a better idea???? or diff wine??? I really dont wana spend too much - I still have to bring a gift for the bar mitzvah boy

dimples

Thu, Apr 30 2009, 1:03 pm

I usually bring wine. or I get a candy tray, the 4 compartment ones, like from oh nuts, those are abt $8.

Twoisacharm

Thu, Apr 30 2009, 1:09 pm

oo thats a good one!!!! more tasty than flowers (and cheaper!!!)

I sound like such a cheapskate Sad

louche

Thu, Apr 30 2009, 2:22 pm

koalamum wrote:

It never hurts to show a token of appreciation! You don't even have to spend much money, but I think the hostess will feel good about the thought and effort it took to get the flowers or chocolate...

Agreed. It's never wrong to bring something.

louche

Thu, Apr 30 2009, 2:25 pm

Twoisacharm wrote:

If you come to me, please do bring Bartenura. It's my fave! Of course, me being me, I'll probably save it till we go somewhere and give it to our hostess. But you see, I still appreciate your gift because you saved me the trouble of going out and buying something myself. I appreciate anything that saves me work or money or both.

Oh, I love those Oh Nuts fruit-and-nut-and-sometimes-chocolate packages, too!

Raisin

Thu, Apr 30 2009, 2:43 pm

I prefer chocolate or nuts, or fruit or wine. (chocolate is yummier but fruit is healthier) I am missing the flower gene. mind you, I wouldn't mind if someone came and planted some in my garden...but in vases I just think they are a waste of money.

someone told me how when she was newly married she was really short of money, and invited a relative to eat on shabbos. she was short of cash she could only afford beans and so on. the guest sent over a $50 bouquet of flowers (and complimented her on her original, creative and healthy cuisine, not even dreaming that lack of funds was the reason for the food choice).

drumjj

Thu, Apr 30 2009, 2:59 pm

I also dont like flowers and think they are a waste of money I much prefer chocolate. not wine either bc we seem to have about 30 bottles at home at the moment which are gifts from ppl

Raisin

Thu, Apr 30 2009, 3:01 pm

drumjj wrote:

I also dont like flowers and think they are a waste of money I much prefer chocolate. not wine either bc we seem to have about 30 bottles at home at the moment which are gifts from ppl

if it is not wine we really like eg dry red I open it when we have lots of guests and usually some of them appreciate it.

DevorahMonsey

Sat, May 02 2009, 10:06 pm

I would do any of the above -- wine, chocolate, flowers -- with the corollary that if I were going to stay by someone very out of town, I might also bring a copy of Mishpacha, Binah, etc. to give them something they may not have a chance to pick up where they are. I wouldn't give that by itself -- way too cheap -- but it's a nice touch that you appreciate that they don't have the access to all that you do (assuming of course that you do!). Smile

Blair

Sat, May 02 2009, 11:46 pm

I would bring a small gift. It does not have to be expensive it's just a nice touch to say thank you for hosting us. I never expect to get gifts that's not why I open my home to out of town people or just for a Shabbos meal.

Twoisacharm

Mon, May 04 2009, 11:13 am

thanks for all the suggestions!!!

btw I stayed in a REALLY NICE PLACE!!!!!!!!!! the ppl were soooo friendly and welcoming!!!!
we had the whole basement to ourselves and a clean toilet!!!!!!!!!!! so nice and comfortable

I took a platter from Oh Nuts!