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Twins/Triplets ettiquette



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amother


 

Post Tue, Jun 09 2009, 6:13 pm
If your child is invited to a bday party for a twin or triplet but is only friends with one of them and they are all in diff classes, so they all have their own friends, do you need to buy a gift for each one separately? Or just for the friend? Or something they can play with together?

Sorry if this is a really dumb and obvious question.
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cheerios




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 09 2009, 6:16 pm
Quote:
Or something they can play with together?


sounds like a great idea.
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RachelEve14




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2009, 12:03 am
I would also bring a game or book or something they can all enjoy, rather than an outfit or piece of jewelry that is only for one at a time.
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drumjj




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2009, 12:13 am
I would bring two presents, at the end of the day its both their parties and u were invited to it. I would hate it if ppl just brought my sister something if we were having a joint party and also even though u might thing ur buying something for them to play with together its still classed as one present or just a present for the one person.
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sgr




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2009, 1:28 am
My daughter has triplets in her class I always buy three separate gifts.
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Ima'la




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2009, 1:41 am
drumjj wrote:
I would bring two presents, at the end of the day its both their parties and u were invited to it. I would hate it if ppl just brought my sister something if we were having a joint party and also even though u might thing ur buying something for them to play with together its still classed as one present or just a present for the one person.


I totally hear what you're saying, but what if there are twice as many guests b/c they have different friends? OP said her daughter's only friends with one of them b/c they're in separate classes and have separate friends, so why should they each get double (or triple) the gifts? (Not worried about them getting too many gifts, but it would get burdensome to friend's parents.)
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drumjj




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2009, 1:43 am
maybe ur right but im talking from the childs point of view. (im an identical twin) also this yr I made my two kids joint party they r and six and I invited ppl I wouldnt have to them each seperately and everyone except one person gave two presents
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RachelEve14




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2009, 4:48 am
drumjj wrote:
maybe ur right but im talking from the childs point of view. (im an identical twin) also this yr I made my two kids joint party they r and six and I invited ppl I wouldnt have to them each seperately and everyone except one person gave two presents


I see what you are saying, but I still think it's a bit over the top to expect a guest to bring 2 gifts when she might not even know one of the kids. My twins this year are in the same class, so it didn't come up (they mostly got 2 things), but if they were in different classes I certainly wouldn't expect every kid to bring Nechama a present just because they happened to be Rena's friend. Next year they will be in 2 different classes, and I will either just throw them one party with kids who are friends with both, or do 2 parties. I'd much rather my kid got 1 nice thing rather than 2 cheaper gifts because the person felt they had to bring two, even though their child was only friends with 1 twin.
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ruthla




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 14 2009, 12:15 pm
I'd either give something for them to share, or get something for each child. If it pushes your budget to buy 3 gifts instead of just one, then it's fine to go for less expensive gifts.

DD2 was once invited to a party for 3 girls together. They weren't siblings, just friends who decided to join resources so they could have a bigger/more expensive party. One of the hostesses was DD's friend, the other two were aquaintances. I got them each a $10 gift certificate to a local bookstore. Had it been a single child's party, I would have spent $20 or $25 on the one gift.
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Strawberry




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 14 2009, 10:28 pm
My father is a twin and most people gave 1 gift for his bar mitzva. He was really upset.
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RachelEve14




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 15 2009, 1:53 am
Strawberry wrote:
My father is a twin and most people gave 1 gift for his bar mitzva. He was really upset.


IMO, there are two different types of situations. Situation 1. Twins in the same class or have the same friends or cousins, etc. Of course 2 gifts should be given.


Situation 2. Sarah is in Leah's class and friends with Leah. Leah happens to have a twin Rivka. If Sarah is invited to Leah's Bat Mitzvah, she has no obligation to bring Rivka a second gift. Just like Rivka's friends who are invited don't have to bring Leah a gift. Someone friends with both girls should bring both girls a gift (for a Bat Mitzvah) or maybe something bigger to share (for a regular birthday, a board game both can play together OR bring 2 shirts, but not to bring one shirt and expect both girls to "share" it.
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