Those who work FT - what's your evening routine?

amother

Wed, Jun 10 2009, 8:31 am

I think we had a similar thread for SAHM. I work full time and only get home around 5. I have 2 little kids. What's your evening schedule like?

I pick up my 3 year-old from gan, and take the babysitter (who watches my baby) home. Then after we get home I warm up dinner (I try to make it the night before to avoid the stress of making it when I get home and the kids are tired and hungry), and try to feed the kids before my dh gets home from kollel. He comes home around 545 and we eat until about 615 or so. Then he either plays with the kids or I take the kids out. We usually get home around 730 (unless I need to give them baths in which case it's 7), the kids eat their "second dinner", we brush teeth and try to be in bed by 8.

What about you?? I am looking for ways to "improve" my system. Thanks Tongue Out

Marion

Wed, Jun 10 2009, 8:39 am

Pick up from maon is by 4:30. Monday DS#1 has a chug with his abba from 4:45-5:30. I drop them off, then take DS#2 to run errands (shopping or window shopping at the mall). Pick them up at 5:35, home by 5:45. The rest of Monday night is Abba night...he's in charge of supper and baths. He puts DS#2 down around 7:30. DS#1 is allowed to stay up to say hello to DH's chavrusa who arrives around 8, then I put him to bed.

Tuesday DH usually does maon pick up and takes them to the park. So they actually get real food Tuesday night.

Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday DH works until 7:30, and Wednesday I don't see him until after Ma'ariv (around 9:45). Needless to say those are leftover nights. Luckily the kids eat very well in maon and generally aren't particularly hungry. They are very happy with sandwiches or pasta or fishsticks. Occasionally I'll do bourekas or frozen pizza.

amother

Wed, Jun 10 2009, 2:57 pm

BUMP - anybody else??

freidasima

Wed, Jun 10 2009, 3:07 pm

Well the kids are all adults today but when they were small I worked very late, had a metapelet until 4 and a babysitter until 6 and until the oldest was around 10 someone would be home by then, after that she would take care of the younger kids until someone would show up anytime between 8-9 PM.

Supper was whatever they could put together for themselves. They had a decent lunch and the metapelet made sure that they had something around 4 PM to keep them going.

When I got home anywhere between 8-10 PM I would talk to the kids who were still up while putting up laundry, doing sponja, windows, a bit of cooking to make sure there was food for the next day and putting away the shopping which I would do on the way home from work and have with me in the car (I worked outside of the city for many years, hence the two hour commute in each direction with stops for food shopping - in those days shops closed at 8 PM so I had to do it wherever I worked, Haifa, Hadera, etc.)

Then the kids would eventually get themselves to bed and I would go in and out until they were asleep, and then would shower, wash my hair and get back to work that I would bring home. Sleep came around 2 AM and I was up at 6 in order to leave at 6:30 latest. I would see the youngest as they would get up early and I would leave breakfast before gan and school. Dh got them out to gan unless he had to leave at 7 in which case they got themselves out. Yes I had latchkey kids from age 4-5 and the gan was behind the house so it wasn't a problem.

No it wasn't fun. That's what happens when you have no money and lots of expenses (caring for parents as well as yourself).

Today it's a mechayeh. I work near the house, am already at the top of the profession and except if I have a workshop in the evening I am home at a normal hour and can even take work home with me and not go in one day a week to take care of my grandson. I paid for it in spades.

When the kids were in their late teens I finally could be home with them. That's when I could make up for not being there when they were younger. I had time to be with them and it was a lot of fun actually, and to top it off, they are all very independent as a result, but close to me (and dh) because of the teenage years. Remember, they are (except the chayal) far out of their teens so I have time to see how it developed and B"H it went ok, even with having an absent mother for the first 15 years of their life.

e1234

Wed, Jun 10 2009, 3:10 pm

I pick up my kids at 4. We eat at around 5.
I start bedtime at 6 and it usually takes about 3 hours till they are all sleeping.
I'm trying hard to improve bedtime.
Bathtime I alternate between night and morning - sometimes at night but more often when we are all up early anyway I put them in in the morning.

chocolate moose

Wed, Jun 10 2009, 3:14 pm

I don't have little kids at home anymore. I asume you want tips b'nogayah them.

amother

Wed, Jun 10 2009, 3:22 pm

Routine? I wish! Baby's not exactly on a schedule yet and toddler is experimenting with not napping. I never know what to expect. Between late nights, night wakings, and nursing before I leave, I'm getting to work later and therefore getting home later than I should. BH, DH does daycare pick-up and drop-off.

anuta

Wed, Jun 10 2009, 4:37 pm

I come home at 6; usually my kids are bathed and fed by their au pair already. I read them some books, brush their teeth, we say their prayers, sometimes my son wants more milk, and then they go to sleep at 7 - 7:30.
Now I am not so well so I can just drop dead after that. If I am feeling better, I can do some cleaning, cooking, laundry... there is always loads of housework that I am drowning in. DH is very busy - he helps with kids in the evening sometimes, but not with chores. Thankfully he doesn't demand cooked dinners either, and he can shop for his food himself.

speciwoman

Wed, Jun 10 2009, 4:45 pm

I get home between 5:15 and 5:30. Play with DS for a half-hour or so. Give him dinner, bath, and bed at 7. DH usually gets home right at 7 to say Shema with DS and put him to bed. Then I do laundry, eat cereal for dinner, heat up Shabbos leftovers for DH, and watch TV til bedtime.

rgk

Wed, Jun 10 2009, 8:24 pm

freidasima - whoa! that sounds like a crazy schedule! Ok, I'm going to stop feeling bad for myself now. But one question, what did you do when you had babies or were pregnant? Were you really able to last on 4-5 hours of sleep?

Mrs Bissli

Fri, Jun 12 2009, 11:14 am

The nanny picks up the kids at 3:30, does English/math homework, bath at 5:00, supper at 6:00. I prepare the week's dinners on Sundays and freeze, or prepare the night before.

I'm home first 3-4 days week by 6:30. DH comes home first 2days week. Then we do limudei kodesh and ivrit. Last drink/snack and brush teeth by 7:30, lights off, in bed by 8pm.

tovarena

Fri, Jun 12 2009, 12:21 pm

I leave work at 4:30 and pick up the kids at 5:00. On daycare days, they're ready to load into the car when I walk in but it's 20 minutes to the house. And on babysitter days where she lives 5 minutes from the house, we usually have to start with shoes and whatnot. Either way, we typically walk in the door around 5:30.

I try to get their dinner on the table ASAP, depending on their moods (there are evenings when they're just utterly nuts and won't let me get to the kitchen). Dinner for them is always cold so I don't have to stop to warm things up (chicken cutlets, veggie kugel or raw veggies, fruit, chummus, etc.) because I'm home solo until 6:30ish when DH walks in. The goal is to be finishing up or already finished with dinner when he walks in so we can get outside for a 1/2 hour or so walk. Then back in by 7ish for diapers, pjs, toothbrushing, a quick clean up (yes, they actually enjoy cleaning up their toys!), put cups in the frig, and then the nightly scramble upstairs (daddy calls the horse race to see who's going to get to the top first LOL

). Shema and hamalach hagoel, kisses, and into bed - usually between 7:30 and 7:40.

On babysitting days, the kids get baths at the sitter. And on daycare days, the walk gets replaced with a bath if it's necessary. On Sundays, we just start the whole routine earlier so baths can happen right after dinner.

After they're down, we get dinner warming (usually leftovers or something really easy like chicken thrown in the oven with a sauce). While dinner is going, I clean the remainder of their play area that they didn't do themselves, wash their dishes (sippys, high chair trays, etc. that don't go into the dishwasher) and sometimes get a load of laundry put up. These days, after dinner, it's right back work - logging into the office from my home machine. And if I'm lucky, a half hour to relax before bed around 11 (again if I'm lucky).

PinkandYellow

Tue, Jun 16 2009, 6:04 pm

I get home about 6:30. my husband is already home with the kids and starts dinner. the minute I walk in, all heck breaks loose. around 7, the kids get pj's and baby (2 yo) goes to bed. 4 yo goes in a bit after and doesn't fall asleep until 8:30 (on a good day) and for that 1-1.5 hours its a nightmare trying to get him to sleep. eventually he falls asleep and I collapse, usually too tired to even bother eating, let alone preparing dinner.

levial

Wed, Jun 17 2009, 1:53 pm

I hope to get home by 6- 6:30. DH has picked up DD from her afternoon activities such as preschool or camp.

I am usually hungry and tired when I get home. I go upstairs and change out of my suit and put something relaxed on. If I had a really rough day I ask DD if she'd like to cuddle for a few minutes. I turn off the lights and climb in bed with her and we talk about our day. I tell her what I did (meetings, working on the computer..interpersonal stuff) and she tells me what she did (what art project, or who said she's not her friend anymore).

In the am, I have put a load of laundry in the machine. I now transfer it to the dryer.

Some days DH is master chef, and others he's exhausted too. I have backup meals in the freezer, but sometimes after just relaxing a few minutes I cook. DD is big into helping now, so I delegate tasks such as setting the table (disposibles), washing fruits or vegetables (water play..but hard to get her away from the sink). formula for dinner is meat, vegetable, salad, and sometimes a starch. We finish dinner and I leave dishes in the sink for a little later, as the dryer usually has buzzed by now. Folding when warm means not as many wrinkles.

7-7:30 I start DD's bath and go back and start the dishes. Then I gather the reluctant bather and go up to give her a bath. She likes to soak, play, etc. I do light straightening in the bedrooms upstairs such as putting laundry away, dusting, making order where I was sloppy getting ready (time to re-organize the pantyhose drawer)...or tackling one cleaning item in the bathroom. For example, I might just wipe down the counter, then use the rest of the wipe to touch up around the edges of the bathroom floor that are gathering dirt and dust in between the weekly cleaning.

8- 9pm I take her out, comb her hair, help her into her PJs, and get things ready for the morning. She brushes teeth while I fill the natlan, negotiate what the fashionista will wear (Dark pink is the new black, by the way) and read a story. Sometimes I am argued with (I'm not tired. I don't want to go to bed).

DH has minyan about 8"45 this week, so somewhere before he leaves I try to sneak in a shower if I didn't go to the gym and take a shower there. I dry my hair within 5-10 minutes, and am done before he leaves and before DD goes to bed.

She's been dropping her nap, but has wanted to stay awake due to the late time of sunset in the summer (mommy the sun has not gone to bed yet..)

9-10p Wait for DH to return from minyan or kollel. Finish cleanup on kitchen. (wiping, sweeping if needed,) Make note of what we need to buy at the store. Ensure I have food for breakfasts and lunches. If not, text DH to stop at the store.

10-11 - Schmooze with DH, watch TV, finish up a presentation or re-read for typos...Argue that I'm not ready to go to bed either...

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Jun 17 2009, 2:04 pm

Pick up my baby between 4:50-5, pick up boys right after, get home around 5:20.
Give them a small "snack" (part of supper) while I cook supper, bathe kids if necessary, change into PJs...give them supper around 6:15. 6:30 if nice outside, we go outside to wait for Abba. If not nice, we wait in the hall around 6:40.
My husband comes home around 6:45, he plays with kids for a bit, puts them to bed. We eat around 7:15.
I then conk out on the couch; do dishes or other housework if possible.