SAHM and cleaning ladies

pecan

Fri, Jun 19 2009, 6:51 pm

It depends what your priorities are. I have cleaning help once a week and to me that means that the other six days of the week, I have to clean.
To me, it is more of a priority. I would rather have less clothes and shoes, etc. and be able to have cleaning help.
This is my position now as a mother of young children who works part-time. Would this change if I stayed home and didn't work, or my kids were grown? Possibly.
It's interesting that so many people say they have help because they don't like cleaning, or don't know how.
I know how to clean very well, and spend a lot of time cleaning. I am not lazy at all.
To me, the one day a week is minimal and the cleanliness doesn't last very long until it has to be done again.
Interestingly, my own mother rarely had cleaning help, and our house was never up to my standards of cleanliness.
I guess it bothered me enough to make sure that my own house will be clean.

beila

Sun, Jun 21 2009, 2:59 am

I have cleaning help once a week, five hours. I started when I had 6 kids under 7. It feels so good when I walk in to a clean house. Okay, so the moment the kids get home, it all gets messy again, but the good feeling lingers a while. I have worked, part time, a few times the past 20 years. I think it is a lot harder to stay home (no offense to WMs). We wanted this for our kids (SAHM) (I had it with my Mom).
When I clean, it takes me longer--I am a perfectionist. While I'm cleaning, I'm putting things away. The cleaning lady only has to stack them and move on. I would get more help if I could. I didn't sign on to be the maid, but sometimes I sure feel like one...and I can't say I love cleaning toilets. Confused

With carpools, appointments, meetings with teachers, therapy, etc I am always rushing, rushing. I don't consider it to be a luxury at all. I was burned out for a long time (lots of kids quickly) and now I realize, I should have gotten help sooner (even if we were struggling financially).

amother

Sun, Jun 21 2009, 3:20 am

Not everyone is good at cleaning.

I suck at cleaning up my house. I had cleaning woman when I didn't have kids yet and wasn't working. I happen to be an excellent cook and do laundry, but cleaning is just not my thing. Look some people buy take-out and eat out (which we hardly ever do).

Currently we don't have any cleaning help as dh has stepped up and is doing more (at the time we had help we had more income and dh was much busier).

Health is a Virture

Sun, Jun 21 2009, 3:45 am

chocolate moose wrote:

People make such a big deal that they can't live without such things - cleaning help, take out food, even vacations. Yet I don't have them.

so what??? I grew up without cleaning help, and let me tell you, I think my entire family would have been a much happier family if we had had. I myself, whose husband is learning in kollel and I don't work, am actually seriously considering getting cleaning help! I may pick up a few odd jobs to make some more money, but before I do that, I am getting cleaning help. You know why? Because I need it for my sanity!! and I feel that I can be a much better productive SAHM if I can get some cleaning help.

if nobody was home during the day, I would not have nearly as much as dust tracked through my house and have to wash my floors daily. The toilets would not have to be scrubbed down nearly as often. I don't think I would be nearly as exhausted either at the end of the day, because it is very tiring walking around in the heat of the israel sun taking kids to and from gan, because I don't have a car and my kids get out at 1 pm!!!

eveybody has their own cheshbonos. I used to think cleaning help was a luxury; I now realize that for many it's a necessity. Laundry alone can take hours a week to accomplish. it could be if I wasn't a sahm though my kids wouldn't go through 2 sets of clothing a day, but somehow, many of them do, including myself.

Health is a Virture

Sun, Jun 21 2009, 3:55 am

OP, you talk about having a toddler and the toddler helping you. How many children do you have? One toddler is very different from having 4 or more children. The thought never crossed my mind before I had my fourth baby to get cleaning help, and then it started crossing my mind almost every day. With each extra kid, the work exponentially multiplies for some reason.

amother

Sun, Jun 21 2009, 4:45 am

Health is a Virture wrote:

Op mentioned someone with a lot of small children, and hence being understandable for her to want cleaning help. But OP doesnt understand someone with either no children, or up to two or three (unless they are extremely close in age), who stays home, having cleaning help. (Now after this thread she is understanding it better, even if still not fully.)

zissy2004

Sun, Jun 21 2009, 8:33 am

well, I have 2 kids, am not working and have a cleaning lady twice a week.
mostly because I hate cleaning and am not very good at it (though hubby isnt too happy about it)

also, if cleaning ladies would be as expensive as in israel I dont know if I would have them but here the price is reasonable and most pple have help here.

and by the way, everyone should decide for themselves if they need or want one, who am I to comment???

PinkFridge

Sun, Jun 21 2009, 8:46 am

Amother: not everyone is good at cleaning you say.

I say, yes, yes, and yes! And sometimes those of us in the humbler circumstances - small house, just one bath - need help just because everything is in such high use. Yes, I know we can learn, but it's not easy.

And not just that, but there are some of us who are happy to be at home, full or most of the time, who are getting the laundry done, basic cleaning, lots of cookies and good food, but we weren't necessarily to the manor born. You can be an FFB from a "medium large" (like 5 or 6 kids) and still not have seen it growing up.
So even years later we're like the kid in the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Student driver. Please be patient, I'm pedaling as fast as I can."

YALT

Sun, Jun 21 2009, 8:57 am

For those who say that it still is not a neccessity, no matter how much it makes life easier -
I still haven't heard you explain why it's not a neccessity if it causes allergy/asthma.

Fayge - I like that bumper sticker.
I had a friend once (a"h) who never flew in her life on a plane, and she came in one day saying she wanted to go to Texas, and how much would it cost to fly first class. I told her I don't know, but why not economy? Her answer: "What, you think flapping my hands and pedaling my feet is what I'm going on vacation for?!?!?!?!"

maidale

Sun, Jun 21 2009, 9:19 am

Now here's some food for thought: WHO THE HELL CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO??? You do what is right for you and your family, and stop looking into your neighbors windows. If this way works for you, great. It might not work for Mrs. X down the road.
Why are people here so busy with what goes one in other peoples houses?

Temilia

Sun, Jun 21 2009, 9:28 am

chocolate moose wrote:

I don't spend money on things that I can do myself. PlaIN AND SIMPLE.

EVER?

You don't pay anyone to... (pick any and all that apply)
-grow the food that you eat?
-kill the meat that you eat?
-sew your clothes?
-weave your fabric?
-paint your house?
-build your furniture?
-grind your flour?
-make your wine?
-dry your fruits?
-teach your chidren?

ETC... the list can go on and on.
150 years ago, they average jewish woman did it all, the skinned and cleaned the meat, they grew their fruit and vegetables, raised chickens for the meat and the eggs, milked a cow for milk, made their own cloths, etc.

today, we outsources things that are too difficult, time consuming, space consuming etc...
cleaning is just an extension of all that.

octopus

Sun, Jun 21 2009, 10:15 am

maidale wrote:

I wholeheartedly agree. I can't stand threads where ppl are busy looking at everyone else and what they do. I ABHOR that mentality.

Last edited by octopus on Sun, Jun 21 2009, 10:21 am; edited 1 time in total