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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
Are you an american that says shut up to your kids?
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| Yes. It's no big deal |
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5% |
[ 7 ] |
| No but my husband does. |
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2% |
[ 4 ] |
| No way we'd never speak to our kids like that. |
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91% |
[ 125 ] |
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| Total Votes : 136 |
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amother
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 Sun, Jun 21 2009, 8:28 am
I asked my husband now if his father used to say shut up to him that he learnt it from him and he said yes. He then claimed that it's a nationality thing and that my nationality was more sensitive to it whereas it is no big deal for Americans and all his teachers used to say it. I find that hard to believe so I said I'd run a poll on imamother and see what you ladies had to say.
btw he admitted that they don't say it to adults so I asked why, so he said because it's disrespectful so I asked why is it disrespectful, is it rude? and he said yes so I asked so why is it ok to be rude to kids?
so he agreed on principal but still says because of my nationality I'm sensitive but to Americans' it's not so bad.
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bubby
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 8:38 am
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In the UK it's acceptable (or it was 25 years ago.) It's like "be quiet." I couldn't understand why I got funny looks & tut-tuts over here! Now I cringe if I hear a Brit say it.
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Blair
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 8:41 am
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I would never think of saying shut up to my children. I may think it at times.
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shosh
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 8:43 am
I confess that I say it fairly often when my kids are driving me up the pole! And I'm sure that everyone thinks I'm terrible. And yes, horrors, I even shout at them like a sergeant major when I'm trying to get them up in the morning/go to bed.
But to all those who think what an awful person I am, I'd challenge every single one of you to get seven kids out the door without any help from anyone by 7:45 (well, six and one who's a major pain in the rear end in this regard and I'm lucky if he goes at all)!
Oh and btw, I'm a British Israeli!
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willow
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 8:44 am
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NO imagine someone telling you to shut up. Your kids are humans too.
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ss321
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 8:48 am
never ever would I say shut up to my kids
if we ever said it to siblings we were sent to our room for a few hrs.
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cm
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 8:49 am
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I voted "no." To be fair, however, America is a big place, and social standards vary. What is crass, vulgar, or rude in one community may be considered OK in another. I'm not referring to "shut up" specifically, but I suppose that expression might be considered Not Rude somewhere in the US!
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greenfire
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 9:23 am
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'shut up' is tantamount to saying 'drop dead' ... both should NEVER be said !!!
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Imaonwheels
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 9:28 am
Just yesterday I taught my Pirchei Avos class about kavod talmidecha includes your children. This is not appropriate. I and my children totally ignore anyone who speaks like that. We're are not dogs.
Oh, and I grew up in a rural 'not refined' place in the US. in a trailer court, and people did not say shut up to their kids except for one abusive father who was eventually arrested for the weird punishments he gave his kids.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 9:33 am
I also feel it is more common in UK.
My parents are Brits and we CRINGE every time they say shut up AND stupid - we can't stand it!
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chocolate moose
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 9:35 am
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I don't say that to anyone.
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freidasima
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 9:57 am
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I hear it all the time from Americans, but in my house my mother would say "pipe down" and that would be enough...it was clean and people got the message. But it wasn't used unless she really needed quiet for something. I never remember my father saying it.
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raspberry tea
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 9:57 am
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I grew up with that being a "bad word". And I've taught my kids that we don't speak like that. I would never tell them to shut up.
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Flowerpot
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 10:00 am
my dh used to use it a lot when we got married to everyone instead of saying shhhhhhh. (not sharply) but I put a lot of pressure he should stop I always asked him would you like your kids talking like that.
it surely helped.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 10:01 am
| shosh wrote: | But to all those who think what an awful person I am, I'd challenge every single one of you to get seven kids out the door without any help from anyone by 7:45 (well, six and one who's a major pain in the rear end in this regard and I'm lucky if he goes at all)!
Oh and btw, I'm a British Israeli! |
You are not the only one in that situation. There are plenty of women on this site in that position. (Getting that many kids out the door, by themselves.)Doesn't mean it's OK to speak to your kids like that!
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yOungM0mmy
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 10:03 am
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As kids, we used to say it to our siblings pretty often, and my mother would freak out - that's not the way to talk to someone, and she is american. Now, though I am sorely tempted, with 3 little ones, I would be devastated if I even blurted that out at my kids (I'm british) though I do raise my voice occasionally.
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red sea
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 11:48 am
There are 2 shut up phrases, one means - be quiet you little (insert bad descriptive in thought process) and is very on the level of name calling and character assasination and is a terrible thing to say especially to your child.
The other means oh my gosh I don't believe you, be quiet in a good slang sort of way (similar to I got 100 on my math test even tho I usually fail = shut up, no way), still dont personally use it but much less offensive if someone meant that to their child.
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bbmom
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 1:02 pm
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Would never say it, not to my kids, not to my husband, not to my friends.
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Stepmum
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Sun, Jun 21 2009, 1:06 pm
I'm British, and although I said it to my siblings growing up, I would never say it to my kids, or to anyone now. The only time I could imagine using it would be to a nasty bureaucrat 
I'd have to slightly disagree with Greenie though, I think Shut Up is less 'drop dead', and more, 'You're worthless.'
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