 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
Are you an american that says shut up to your kids?
|
| Yes. It's no big deal |
|
5% |
[ 7 ] |
| No but my husband does. |
|
2% |
[ 4 ] |
| No way we'd never speak to our kids like that. |
|
91% |
[ 125 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 136 |
|
amother
|
 Sun, Jun 21 2009, 1:29 pm
I say it to my kids (and dh), and feel really badly about it. 
(My father used to speak to us this way as well when we were growing up).
| |
|
| Back to top |
 0
 0
|
amother
|
Sun, Jun 21 2009, 1:35 pm
|
I would not talk to my kids like that, but wouldn't judge someone who did for a second. Kids can really be annoying sometimes!! I have told them "Go away!" and I feel a bi tguilty about that. Not sure what else to do though when they keep bugging me.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Raisin
|
Sun, Jun 21 2009, 2:12 pm
me and dh are both british and never say that to our kids. 
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Besiyata Dishmaya
|
Sun, Jun 21 2009, 2:17 pm
|
We would never use such language to anyone in the world, not even to non jews. Our parents engraved in us that a Jew has to constantly remember that his/her mouth that speaks to Hashem daily should always stay clean.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Liorah61
|
Sun, Jun 21 2009, 7:27 pm
|
I used it as a child and teen but stopped as an adult. There are better ways to convey it than those words. I am American.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
de_goldy
|
Sun, Jun 21 2009, 9:03 pm
| MeThinks wrote: | | We would never use such language to anyone in the world, not even to non jews. |
Did you really just say that???
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
pecan
|
Sun, Jun 21 2009, 9:09 pm
|
I am american/canadian and do not say shut up to anyone and definitely not to my kids. People should not speak to anyone that way.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Merrymom
|
Wed, Jun 24 2009, 12:27 am
|
My children aren't even allowed to say that to each other. It's just a horrible way of speaking. When I catch them trying it I tell them that if they keep it up they'll end up in their room or they won't play webkinz for the rest of the day (a truly gruesome punishment by their standards).
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
|
Wed, Jun 24 2009, 12:46 am
I'm a teacher (in America) and one of the first times I had my high school student do SSR, one of them said - "This is Shut Up, Sit Down, and Read! That's what our teacher called it last year." I was appalled and said, no that is absolutely not what it is and I would never say to my students nor to my own children. I say, "Please be quiet." When my children are driving me up the wall and I need them to be quiet immediately, I say "SHUSH! NOW!!!" in a very stern manner.
However, for the previous posters who do say this to their kids, if they are used to mum saying "shut up" and in their house they know that it is not a derogatory comment, I wouldn't say it's abusive and good grief moms have enough to worry about without being judged negatively by our fellow Jewish mums. However, I would say that you might want to tell your kids that this is an "in house" comment because other adults don't want to hear the term "shut up" used around their children.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Reality
|
Wed, Jun 24 2009, 10:21 pm
I am american and I would get into big trouble as a child when I would tell my siblings to shut up. I can still hear my little sibs running to my parents saying "______ said the sh word" as if I'd cursed!!!
I don't talk like that to my kids or my husband. That stage has passed.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
shosh
|
Thu, Jun 25 2009, 8:35 am
Don't get me wrong here - I don't think I'm right to say it. It's just out of frustration sometimes, and especially if my troubled oldest ds has just said some appallingly disgusting swear word at me.
After this thread, I started listening a bit more to myself. I definitely shout a lot, but I usually say "Quiet!" rather than "shut up." "Shut up!" generally happens when it's a really stressful situation. And I'm happy to say that at least I don't swear at them ...
When I was a child, I had a friend whose mum was Moroccan/Israeli, and when she'd get annoyed with her, she'd say either, "Sharon, you gonna get!!!" or "I'll kill you!" My mum used to be horrified by that ... To my mind, those expressions are far worse. B"H, I haven't descended to that level yet...
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
|
Thu, Jun 25 2009, 8:43 am
| shosh wrote: | Don't get me wrong here - I don't think I'm right to say it. It's just out of frustration sometimes, and especially if my troubled oldest ds has just said some appallingly disgusting swear word at me.
After this thread, I started listening a bit more to myself. I definitely shout a lot, but I usually say "Quiet!" rather than "shut up." "Shut up!" generally happens when it's a really stressful situation. And I'm happy to say that at least I don't swear at them ...
When I was a child, I had a friend whose mum was Moroccan/Israeli, and when she'd get annoyed with her, she'd say either, "Sharon, you gonna get!!!" or "I'll kill you!" My mum used to be horrified by that ... To my mind, those expressions are far worse. B"H, I haven't descended to that level yet... |
This sort of describes where I am. I feel SO bad when I don't speak with derech eretz to my kids. I'll be honest I do it, but it's not something I'm proud of and something I am trying to change.
those latter more extreme phrases hit me even harder. I can't imagine speaking like that. I hear non frum/non Jewish coworkers use language like the last one, and it really bothers me inside. I think I've become more sensitive to loshon since becoming frum, so BH that the trend is in the right direction.
And I am American.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
imamama
|
Sun, Jun 28 2009, 2:00 pm
| Quote: | | Our parents engraved in us |
So where's your tattoo? 
My parents never spoken to me or my siblings that way, but my siblings and I said it to each other all the time. I absolutely do not think it's ok to speak to my children that way, but I admit I have slipped up once or twice. Someone once told me that when she was younger she thought shut up was the "S" word, it was that bad if you said it in her house.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
|
Sun, Jun 28 2009, 2:52 pm
when my mother would get really annoyed at us, she'd say "Shut your face".
I don't say it, or shut up. I think its ridiculous.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
yersp
|
Sun, Jun 28 2009, 3:19 pm
I don't say shut up, I say SHUSH!!
I'm trying to be very careful especially with my two little sponges who can remember anything and everything I say, do or think! I was however, very upset that last week my ds came home telling me to shut up. When I asked him where he heard it from he tells me the bus driver yells at the boys to shut up. I nicely explained that it's not a nice word and the bus driver should not be saying it either. However, if he does hear the driver say it he should just forget that he said it and never ever repeat it again. At least now I get : mommy, never ever ever.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
immaville
|
Tue, Aug 11 2009, 7:56 pm
How do I show a previous quote?
Oh well, I dont know how, but Shosh, I am replying to you. Yes, I too have to get seven kids out early - two even earlier than 7:45! By myself! It's hard! But so are the evenings, and shabbos, and sundays, etc. I still do not say "shut up" to my kids. They are not allowed to say it to each other either. I imagine if someone said it to me, how hurtful it would be. Believe me, I am not the perfect mother, but I cant imagine letting myself say something so hurtful to my kids, especially as they are about to leave the house and begin their day.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Dini
|
Tue, Aug 11 2009, 8:03 pm
|
no way, I hope I never will
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Fresh
|
Tue, Aug 11 2009, 10:37 pm
|
I'm American and see nothing wrong with saying Shut Up. In fact, I use it like BE QUIET!!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
flowerpower
|
Tue, Aug 11 2009, 11:25 pm
|
I wouldn't tell it to my kids.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Lilkingdom
|
Tue, Aug 11 2009, 11:28 pm
|
Never. I try to be careful with what others tell my dd because she picks up these words very quickly. Although sometimes in my head I yell shut up at them! lol
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
