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Is it OK to let your kids see you upset?

 
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amother






Post  Wed, Mar 29 2006, 6:25 pm
I had rough day today and was feeling emotionally drained by the time my kids got home from school. My oldest could tell I was upset (they arrived home about 10 min. earlier than expected...before I had a chance to wash my face and get a glass of water) Anyway, my beautiful 8 year old daughter made dinner for her siblings and then offered to make me a salad when they were done b/c she said I looked sad and wanted to cheer me up. Is it bad that they saw me upset? (Not the angry kind of upset, just emotional!)
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hisorerus




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Mar 29 2006, 6:33 pm
I think it's fine! Your kids should know you're human. That was so sweet of your daughter to offer to help, it shows you're doing something right (she both noticed and tried to help when she saw someone else upset).
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shoy18




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Mar 29 2006, 6:35 pm
Thier is nothing wrong with your children seing a little upset. What a wonderful daughter you raised, so sweet and sensitive, you should be proud!
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goldrose




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Mar 29 2006, 6:56 pm
Not only is it okay, but it's a good thing. It's important, however, that you let them know either why you are upset or - if it's not their business - just let them know that you are upset for reasons unrelated to them, and they didnt cause your upsetness.
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happymom




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Mar 29 2006, 8:27 pm
its good. now they know that u are human too Wink as long as u didnt yell at them, which sounds to me like u didnt! its fine.... wow, what a nice daughter u have! Very Happy
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hardwrknmom




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Mar 29 2006, 9:18 pm
I dont think there's a law on this however, it happens sometimes..just hug and kiss your kids..they'll know you're always there for them even when your upset, in essence you'll find comfort in that Smile
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Tefila




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Mar 29 2006, 9:38 pm
As long as it is not constantly. Once in awhile is fine I guess Confused But constantly makes children insecure they tend to exxagerate situations in their minds.

e.g. I said to my husband the other day do you have cash b/c I have none to shop.
to which my dd answered don't worry mummy I have cash in my tzedakah box for people who have none embarrassed

Or when I cryed because of something so sad that happend to us, my 5 yr old son then, came over and said mummy I too am sad, but atleast you have me and I have you Crying Crying

So be careful how often and do explain. Since what may be just crying to you, may overwrought a child tremendously. Sad
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Motek




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Mar 31 2006, 2:11 pm
Tefila wrote:
e.g. I said to my husband the other day do you have cash b/c I have none to shop.
to which my dd answered don't worry mummy I have cash in my tzedakah box for people who have none embarrassed


Rolling Laughter

good advice in your post tefila!
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happyone




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Mar 31 2006, 3:06 pm
original poster; you sound like your children are really sensitive, if your 8 year old offered to make you salad. You obviously are doing something right!
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Apr 29 2006, 7:13 pm
I would say it is ok to let the children see, but not too often or too upset because it could traumatize them.
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Tefila




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Dec 14 2006, 2:43 am
Quote:
but not too often or too upset because it could traumatize them.

Or done often enough desensitize them like not again Confused
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supermom




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Dec 14 2006, 6:10 am
Motek wrote:
Tefila wrote:
e.g. I said to my husband the other day do you have cash b/c I have none to shop.
to which my dd answered don't worry mummy I have cash in my tzedakah box for people who have none embarrassed


Rolling Laughter

good advice in your post tefila!


LOL LOL
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happymom




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Dec 14 2006, 9:20 am
I was feeling down the other day... my 22 month old daughter came up to me and said "mommy can I give you hug and a kiss?" then she braught me all her toys and asked "are u feel better?" lol It was sooooo cute!
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chocolate moose




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Dec 14 2006, 10:05 am
if you feel that way, let us ALL give you hugs!
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greenfire




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Dec 14 2006, 10:52 am
kids need to know we're human, explain why you were upset, so she knows that we all deal with situations we don't like. How sweet it is that she helped take care of dinner. (sometimes moms have to be superhuman though)
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Esther01




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Dec 14 2006, 11:10 am
you can also explain to them how you feel and why, ex. 'mommy is very sad today because xyz' , this will teach them to express themselves when they are in a similar situation...
you can also say something that will help you feel better ex. 'if I relax here a bit while you all go do your homework... I'll feel better' ,or 'let's have a family hug so that I feel better' , this way you teach them to come up with solutions of how to feel better when they are in the same situation.

Hatzlacha and feel better!!
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su7kids




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Dec 14 2006, 1:43 pm
I think its ok for kids to see you have emotions, but the most important thing, is to make sure that your children don't think THEY are responsible for your upset-ness. Let them nkow that you appreciate them trying to cheer you up, and it does help, but that its up to each one of us to cheer ourselves up and its not THEIR FAULT that you're upset.

Kids tend to take tremendous responsibility for their parents' moods.
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slush




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Dec 14 2006, 2:10 pm
You should have loads more nachas from your kids!!
be proud of yourself - you're obviously doing some thing right and that in itself should cheer you up!!
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supermom




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Dec 14 2006, 2:39 pm
When I was sitting shiva my daughter (four at that time) would come up to me constantly and give me hugs and kisses. She use to tell me it is okay to cry for ziedy but zeidy is happy. And then she would run to get me a roll of tissues and a bag. Crying
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