Rewards | Imamother

613

Mon, Jan 10 2005, 5:42 pm

So with all the talk of how to deal with negative discipline (patching, time-out....), how about positive discipline.
My daughter is only 16 months, so I haven't had to deal with much discipline at all yet, but I've been thinking about what methods I'll use.
In terms of rewards (for young kids)- what do you usually do? I hate using food as comfort or reward. I remember one friend showing me how when a kid is crying (let's say they hurt themselves), so often we'll say, "oh, do you want a drink? do you want a cookie?" WHY? I guess that's what makes them feel better? But there have to be other non-food ways!

Rivka

Sat, Jan 15 2005, 8:09 pm

Hmm, that started off a bit deep. I don't agree in bribing with food, but a star chart is good because they can see how good they have been or how naughty and after a week they get a little toy as a prize if they are good.
Thing is you do not need to reward all the time like this. Positive feedback is important. Alot of parents focus on what the child isn't doing, rather than on what the child IS doing. So what I try to do is if my son finishes his food, even if it is everywhere I say "wow, such a good boy, you finished all your food" and he gets a kiss and cuddle. Plus he is so happy he wants to do it again. This is why now he gives me his plate instead of throwing it on the floor like he used to. It works wonders. He throws all the empty rubbish in the bin and helps lots. He is only 2 but even at a few months I did that, everytime he did something I praised him.
So if he hangs up the washing with me but doesn't do it very neatly he still gets told how much of a helper he is and how amazing, so he likes to help. Plus I can't bribe him anyway, he doesn't understand it. Sometimes bribery is wrong it gives the wrong idea.