question about sticky situation re- 7 brochas.

freidasima

Fri, Aug 28 2009, 7:31 am

I echo all those who say that you can't always invite everyone.
But on the other hand I don't see why you have to be the only ones to contribute. Are you? Can you ask the hostess about this? And get an answer? And find out why you were singled out paying for the drinks? If a lot of people are paying for a part of the simcha that's one thing but I would put the person inviting you on the spot and ask directly - why us? about payment.

b.r.a.c.h.a

Tue, Sep 01 2009, 9:48 pm

To be invited is one thing but to contribute is another. If you are close enough to help pay for the sheva brochos you should go to the wedding. Then, the sheva brochos could be part of your gift.

punktfarkert

Tue, Sep 01 2009, 11:37 pm

micki, it sounds like you're comfortable going and sponsoring the drinks financially - you're just worried that the baalei simcha might feel awkward knowing that you sponsored part of sheva brachos and weren't invited to the wedding. first of all, I admire your sensitivity! Salut

would it be possible for you to dish out the $20 and get the drinks, but speak to your friend and find a diplomatic way to ask her to keep the fact that you sponsored very quiet? best of luck!

micki

Wed, Sep 02 2009, 8:36 am

punktfarkert wrote:

would it be possible for you to dish out the $20 and get the drinks, but speak to your friend and find a diplomatic way to ask her to keep the fact that you sponsored very quiet? best of luck!

yes you got it exactly.
in the end we went, we bought the drinks, told the hostess to keep quiet that we bought it, she felt uncomfortable with that- and the mother of the kalla could not meet my eyes. but I felt bad for her so I went to her and wished her mazel tov and chatted to show I have no hard feelings. she kept it short. as we were leaving I wished mazel tov again and she seemed more comfortable.
I did tell the hostess that she put me in an akward situation and she tried to explain it- whatever.
its done with. over.

thanks for all the help.