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Forum -> Parenting our children

Att: moms of twins!

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doublelucky

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 10:06 am

My twins are 16 mos. ka''h , they are adorable but they have a very hard time sharing toys... any suggestions? Confused

Chani

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 10:17 am

lol...I wish I did. If you find out any secret, let me know!

ny21

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 10:25 am

my twins are baruch hashem older

so I cant answer your question sorry !

try asking a younger mother ! Crying

Tefila

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 12:11 pm

Sharing at this age has to be taught. My twins are similar age and the same situation. It's hard Sad

so frankly I have to watch constantly and guide them when playing like I will sit on the floor with themetc, when I can't my older boys help me .

Actually I think it applys to singletons too but since they r not always together with playdates siblings it's less noticable.

However they also have good times of sharing too. I find they are better off with the same toy or similar at the very least. Then something totaley different.

At 19mnths They are starting to understand to be nice and share but still have alot of working on.

It's not easy but my friend who her twins are 3yrs says once they pass the two stage it does get esier since they can talk and express themselves better.

Hatzlacha Wink

p.s. I know you probably do but I can't help reiterating it is so important to give equal qttention Exclamation

since twins tend to get more jealous then regular siblings so I've heard Confused

We are still thinking of what to do when my son turns 3 iy"h since we make a big to do we feel we have to do something for our daughter too Confused

doublelucky

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 2:00 pm

[I]p.s. I know you probably do but I can't help reiterating it is so important to give equal qttention Exclamation since twins tend to get more jealous then regular siblings so I've heard ...[/I]

they are actually my only children!(so far..)

Tefila

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 5:00 pm

Ok so in that way I do have it easier since I can get help.
Well double lucky just remember take lots of pics, be a kid too and you will see this phase too shall pass Tongue Out

chocolate moose

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 5:35 pm

why don't you buy two of each thing? that is what I have seen twin moms do...

one bought three of each thing, as she had three close in age!

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 6:48 pm

Even when you have 2 of the same toy, I found at that age that they STILL want what the other child has. Really the best way to deal with it is to sit with them.
My twins are 3 and it is still an issue - only now we can talk about it with them.

Quote:

We are still thinking of what to do when my son turns 3 iy"h since we make a big to do we feel we have to do something for our daughter too

You can make a big deal out of candle lighting -have a party to celebrate that (even if she has already been lghting for a while...)and the chance to encourage others to start lighting weekly..

chocolate moose

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 6:53 pm

the younger the kid is, the easier it is to make that "equal" isn't "the same".

each kid gets what he or she needs. when he or she needs it.

Tefila

Tue, May 06 2008, 7:05 pm

Ok so this is the deal my two almost 4 yr olds are scheduled by date and all to go up to the higher grade next year pre k.
This is the 2 issues. MY twins were taught by me all year and it has not been easy especially for my son. However at times when his sibling has had to stay home because she was not well etc he has been wonderful with me being his teacher . It seems that he has a rough time sharing his sister and me in one shot, since she is popular and firends always want her (incidentally I do have an aid but still................)

2. The class he is in now and that is going up to pre k has exactly one other boy for sure, maybe another.

Should I keep him another year with me give him more needed attention and a class full of boys aka friends. But have his sister go up spliting them Confused

. Or should I leave well enough alone and let them both go up and hope for the best??
Help

HooRYou

Wed, May 07 2008, 2:21 am

Quote:

We are still thinking of what to do when my son turns 3 iy"h since we make a big to do we feel we have to do something for our daughter too

Quote:

You can make a big deal out of candle lighting -have a party to celebrate that (even if she has already been lghting for a while...)and the chance to encourage others to start lighting weekly..

I know someone who in the smae situation threw her DD a dress party since she would now only be wearing dresses.

I apologize in advance if dresses at this age are not your minhag.

mummy-bh

Wed, May 07 2008, 4:51 am

Tefila, I would be very disinclined to hold your son back without your daughter. I hear your reasons for wanting to keep him with the other boys, but I would be afraid that sooner or later he would end up with a chip on his shoulder about being a year below his sister.

Is there any way you ould keep his sister back a year too? That would be the best of both worlds.

Imaonwheels

Wed, May 07 2008, 6:44 am

When my dd was 3 we went shopping together alone. We bought her a candlestick and a new tzniusdik dress. I made her a BD party at home as well as the one in the gan. Bar and Bat mitzva are also celebrated very differently to emphasize the p'nima aspect of a woman's life. She should get used to the fact that there are differences. When she gets married a much bigger fuss will be made and much more money spent.

I have had 3 pairs of very close in age. I have no problem taking a toy away if it causes fights. By a year and a half they know the meaning of the word NO.

TwinsMommy

Wed, May 07 2008, 2:12 pm

*lol* sounds like my house.

We have 2 leapfrog learning tables because they were pushing each other at the one.

Well now they both ignore one and go for the same one... if one crawls away to go to the other, the twin follows.

What saves us in our house is that they have different preferences for some toys-- he likes blocks and squeaky things, things he can hold in his hands. She likes to turn pages of board books and he will only look at a board book if he's on my lap and I'm reading it to him. So if they fight over a toy and he's the instigator I can give him small toys to hold, put him in the playpen for a bit for time out, and we're good. If she's the instigator (rare).... I can give her a couple of board books and she's totally distracted.

And sometimes whining and fighting means thirst, hunger, or tired or poopy, so I do a run through in my mind to see what the whining and fighting really means.

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