when do u stop letting child use pacifier?

amother

Wed, Sep 23 2009, 7:31 pm

in the last few months dd is asking me to buy her a pacifier--she will turn 3 in a few weeks. Her brother which is 18 months uses a pacifier during the night and occasionally during the day and sometimes whe n she sees him with it she asks that I buy her one
s/t I give her the pacifier one that in the house
when she goes to sleep she sucks on her 2 fingers to fall asleep
Also I just had ababy a few weeks ago
my husband is very against my 3 yr old using the pacifier--he claims it isnt good for her teeth--is this true?

when do you stop using apacifier?
does she need it for comfort?

is it better to use a pacifier at night than to use her fingers? isnt it easier to brake a habbit of pacifier

someone with expierience can you please help?

morahaviva

Wed, Sep 23 2009, 7:43 pm

If a three year old hasnt been using a pacifier consistently until now, DONT START!! He is just going through a stage. DOnt give in!! As a preschool teacher, there was nothing I hated more than having to take a pacifier away from a 3 year old (or older) during class time - rest time was bad enough!

Atali

Wed, Sep 23 2009, 7:56 pm

My oldest DS (now 5) and DD (now 14 months) both gave up pacifiers at about six months.

However my three-year-old DS uses them.

I got him to give it up when he was almost two, but a few months later when DD was born he started using hers. Eventually it became clear that he was into it and we got him his own, which I don't regret doing. They seem to really help him relax.

However, he is not allowed to take them to school and is really good about the rule. When I forget to take it from him in the car, he hands me the paci as we enter the building and asks me to put it on his car seat for safekeeping.

yOungM0mmy

Thu, Sep 24 2009, 2:28 am

My 3 kids all have pacifiers (age 3, 22 months and 6 months) and I'm not in a hurry to get rid of them. My orthodontist said they do not affect the teeth or bite - In my family, so far everyone has needed braces, and some of us didnt have pacifiers.
My 3 year old seems to have a need to have things in his mouth - if its not his pacifier, he sticks toys in there, he has started chewing his sleeve - so I am not going to unsettle things by taking the pacifier away. He never has one in school, if he does get all the way to the classroom with it, it goes in his backpack, and he has no problem with it. I also make them take it out when talking to me, and when we all sit and play together, the kids put them on the bookcase, and willingly go and do it themselves.
My brother had one for sleeping until he was 9. He tried several times before that to get rid of it, but he just could not sleep well without it. And then when he was 9, overnight, he got rid of them completely, because he was obviously ready.
I do not plan to rush my kids into giving them up, but I would not let a child start after 6 approx 6 months old. And besides, with 3 boys in less than 3 years, pacifiers save my sanity too - it calms them, it cuts down on the whining...and that's also important to me at this stage in our lives.

Mrs Bissli

Thu, Sep 24 2009, 3:45 am

DS had been a dummy addict till just before his 4th birthday. He was already in a nursery in the mornings without a dummy since he was 3yo but still needed it for the night time. I explained to him that 4 is a big number and time to say bye-bye to baby things, and we did a big send-off to all the dummies in the house.

I just went through all photoes and every picture of DS seems to have something stuck in his mouth. Not much I can do if we want to do a photo montage for his bar mitzvah/wedding...

ray family

Thu, Sep 24 2009, 3:56 am

before my son turned 2 he was only allowed his pacifier in bed.
s/t he would go sit on his bed put it in for a few minutes then come out and continue w/ whatever was going on.
by the time he was 26 or 27 months it was gone
my dd 18 mos is soooooo attached to her paci that I don't know how we're going to get rid of it
for my sanity I'm not going to push it before she seems ready. she's a kvetchy baby and its the only thing other than food that keeps her quiet.
I do try to hide it isn't in her mouth this way at least she gets a bit of time w/o it over the course of the day...

chayitty

Thu, Sep 24 2009, 7:30 am

fingers r way worse then a pacifier. I would let my child have a pacifier till they r ready to give it up rather then let them take there fingers. I know a few adults that are married and still suck their thumb...not one adult do I know that still uses a pacifier

cdawnr

Thu, Sep 24 2009, 8:22 am

My ds gave it up beforehe was a year so that wasn't an issue. DD #1 however was beyond an addict and it turned into a tantrum item and she would then sneak up stairs to just lie around sucking the paci. I hated it and we weaned her off of it at about 2.75 yrs. That was also the last time she took a regularly scheduled nap.

I realized through the weanign process that she had no idea how to soothherself to sleep. (ironically, 2 yrs later she is my best sleeper). When DD #2 was about 18 months we left it in the car on an away Shabbas and then just never gave it back. It was 1 rough week but then done.

My issue, perhaps, but I hate when kids who can talk have a paci stuck in their mouths.

sky

Thu, Sep 24 2009, 9:20 am

My 3 year old still has his pacifier. He only gets it in the crib or when he is having a hard day. He has been to the dentist once who did not have a problem with his teeth (I told him he still has a paci).

However, I would not start a pacifier at 3. Perhaps buy a different thing (doll, etc). Which could be instead of the pacifier.

Mirabelle

Thu, Sep 24 2009, 9:27 am

We had a thread on this awhile ago...

DD (will be 3 next month) used to use her paci all the time, now its "just" at home.

I would love to start working on getting her to use it even less (maybe just for sleeping, and then not at all), BUT I am worried that with everything going on with us (twins IY"H coming next month) that now is not a good time. B"H she is day and night potty trained and I don't want to mess with that right now. I also think she will need the comfort when her life totally changes. Her preschool Morah agrees with me.

In terms of the OP's case, if the kid is not already "addicted" to the paci I would not encourage it. I know that when we finally do try to get rid of the paci its going to be really hard.

imasinger

Thu, Sep 24 2009, 2:21 pm

ITA, don't let a preschooler start with this! Take her out and buy her a special transitional object if you want, a stuffed animal or whatever, so she has something of her own to help her when she is feeling insecure.

Three of my kids used pacifiers, one did not. Once they were walking, paci was only allowed in the crib, and once they were ready to transition to a bed, they were only allowed to have the paci in the crib, not the bed. I gave them about a week or two with both crib and bed in the room, and by the end of that time, they chose the bed, and gave up the paci. I made sure to get rid of them ASAP so that a bad habit couldn't restart.

chaylizi

Thu, Sep 24 2009, 3:01 pm

I wouldn't let a 3 year old start. that was when I started weaning. my oldest dd gave up all her pacifiers/tzumis at age 3 (and several months) when my nephew was born. She gave them to him as a "present" & she go to go to the toy store & pick out a prize. I'm hoping to do it soon with my 2.5 year old.

My youngest so far will have nothing to do with tzumis. Hopefully it will stay that way.

sky

Thu, Sep 24 2009, 3:56 pm

imasinger wrote:

once they were ready to transition to a bed, they were only allowed to have the paci in the crib, not the bed. I gave them about a week or two with both crib and bed in the room, and by the end of that time, they chose the bed, and gave up the paci. I made sure to get rid of them ASAP so that a bad habit couldn't restart.

I'm going to try this idea. We are ready to transition to a bed and I want to get rid of the paci at the same time. (I just can't get rid of the paci completely because he shares with his younger brother)

amother

Fri, Sep 25 2009, 7:16 am

what do I do about her fingers?
when do I stop her and how do I stop her

keep I mind that she is going to be 3 in a few weeks

she has a brother that is18 months and uses pacifier mainly at night

and I have amonth old daughter

so I dont have a lot of time for her to give her attention-- I try as much as possible --especially when she just comes home from school I give her att.