Friend diagnosed with MS

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Sat, Oct 31 2009, 3:02 pm

I haven't spoken to her yet and have to act surprised when she tells me (she can't know someone told me). What is the proper thing to say to someone who has been diagnosed with MS? She lives across the ocean so I can't really offer much help.

Isramom8

Sat, Oct 31 2009, 4:28 pm

Wow.
I'm so sorry to hear this.
This must be so hard.
I can't imagine what you're going through right now.
Tell me more; I'm listening.
I'm here if you want to talk.
What is your davening name?
I love you.

Yocheved84

Sat, Oct 31 2009, 9:31 pm

While you might not be very close with her, perhaps she told you because you are a caring person, she knows that despite distance, she can talk to you, etc. Tell her how sorry you are to hear of this. But also tell her that there are a lot of resources for people with MS--support groups, exercise/movement classes, etc.

imasinger

Sat, Oct 31 2009, 11:00 pm

I don't think you need to act surprised. Just say with great sincerity, "I'm so sorry to hear that."

Other things you could say:
How are you feeling right now, physically and emotionally?
Is there anything I can do to help?
Can I daven for you?

Isramom8

Sun, Nov 01 2009, 12:56 am

If she wants to talk but the conversation is awkward, how about:

Is today a good day? What is a good day like? What's a bad day like?
I don't mind hearing about how this whole thing was discovered. Why did you suspect?
How is your dh/mother/child taking it?

amother

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 1:22 am

To learn more about MS go to www.nationalmssociety.org

There are a ton of articles on how to deal with someone who has been newly diagnosed from the MS perspective.

happyone

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 3:25 pm

A friend of mine was dx'd with MS a little while ago. As soon as I heard, I went over to her house (diff city), walked through the door, hugged her, and burst out crying. I felt really stupid and out of control when I did that, but it was just fine. We didnt talk, we both cried. She felt as though I'm truly with her and my reaction was just how I felt. We then sat down to talk about what symptoms led to a diagnosis and the fact that in 2009 they have made so much progress in treatment and medications.
Just hold her hand and let her know you are there for her.

amother

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 3:50 pm

If she'll appreciate it, and you have email contact, email her funny stuff. A wonderful woman I know fondly remembers how her son in law sent her mother in law jokes every day while she was undergoing chemo. (But you've gotta know your customers...)

amother

Wed, Dec 16 2009, 12:03 am

amother wrote:

To learn more about MS go to www.nationalmssociety.org

There are a ton of articles on how to deal with someone who has been newly diagnosed from the MS perspective.

I'll be hijacking this a little.
Thanks so much for this site, very informative. My husband recently had some problems so he went to check it out and they r suspecting MS. I am still in somewhat shock and didnt know where to turn. dont want to tell anybody, not even parents or in-laws. Bec #1 why should I worry them if its not. #2 If I try to go natural, dont want any bashing for it. And this site was really what I was looking for. Thanks so much!!!

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