Presents or no presents?

Isramom8

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 9:02 am

Sure it's done here. My kids' friends get major stuff, some of them.

I'm giving a Gan Shel Dudu CD to share, some chocolate gelt in plastic dreidel holders, a few inexpensive trinkets. The teens will get real gelt, maximum 50 shekel for the entire Chanukah, which is about $13 - if DH agrees.

shalhevet

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 9:06 am

Zus wrote:

In EY, it's absolutely not done to give presents on chanuka. I was wondering who does it and who doesn't.

I think there are people who do - who have been influenced by Chanuka in chul, who in turn were influenced by Xmas.

Quote:

If you don't, please tell me the reason and .if you live in EY and/or what your hashkafa is. I'm curious!

Why do I have to give you the reason? You give ME a reason why I should give presents. Please bring me your mekorot for giving presents on Chanuka. I don't have any mekorot for not giving, just like I don't have any mekorot for giving gifts on Rosh Chodesh Tammuz.

pobody's nerfect

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 9:14 am

DH has decided that we won't do chanuka gifts. (though I'm sure the grandparents, especially the non-frum ones, will give anyway.) but he does want to do "shalosh regalim gifts" instead. cute idea, IMHO.

Isramom8

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 9:16 am

There is a mekor. One, children are supposed to receive toys for simchas Yom Tov. okay, Chanukah isn't technically a Yom Tov, but it's days of hallel and hodaya. There is a strong inyan of Chanukah gelt - that can be extended to toys, etc.

Mrs.K

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 9:21 am

Growing up my parents didn't give presents. My siblings were all married when I was a kid so it was just me, and if I sang Maoz Tzur the first night, dad would give me $5.

My husband's family were a lot of little kids, all of them getting several big chanuka presents of whatever their heart desired.

Now we live in Israel. We get the kids something small that is age appropriate. A pack of stickers, a candy filled draidle, etc. My in laws, however, buy the kids something large and extravagant. It's their family tradition, and I would never tell them not to, but the gift I get them is pretty much on a 5-10 shekel limit.

PinkFridge

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 9:28 am

I voted no.
But what we did do is use the Chanuka gelt from grandparents(a check to "spend on the children") towards a fun activity, concert, etc. so that might sort of qualify as a gift. But I think I'm going to stick with money for my grandchildren (and not too much of it ;-( Maybe one day...)

Isramom8

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 9:28 am

Mrs. K., that's the kind of gift we give. But on a few nights, not just the first. But they don't expect a present every night.

My mother a"h also made Chanukah special in this way. After candlelighting we'd sit on the couch with eyes closed and she'd place an inexpensive gift in our hands. We could never request anything specific. Same went for afikoman - inexpensive, prebought and chosen by my mother.

My kids can say what they'd like. And afikoman gets forgotten about; we don't really do afikoman.

Tamiri

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 10:26 am

Some of my kids are old enough to remember that in the U.S. it was standard to get gifts. We do whatever here in Israel: one son got new hiking boots that he needs for tiyulim+rainy weather and we told him that's the Chanuka present. We let the two younger ones pick out something at Toys R Us last night as a Chanuka present, after an extended period of financial difficulty that BH went away. I imagine the grandparents (on my side, ahem) will give the kids something. We don't make a big deal out of it. Whatever happens, is fine.

shalhevet

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 10:26 am

Isramom8 wrote:

I can't see why this is a makor.

You said yourself Chanuka isn't a YT (yes, there is an inyan to give gifts to bring simcha for the shalosh regalim). In fact it's the only "YT" which doesn't involve gashmi mitzvas to bring us simcha.

And there are deep reasons for the minhag of Chanuka gelt. One is that the Greeks tampered with our money (the source is in the gemorra). I don't remember the other reasons. So a minhag is a minhag, and just like toys aren't gelt, we don't substitute orange cake for cheesecake on Shavuos because cake is cake etc. In EY it's less of a problem, but maybe giving gifts in chul would be included in the issur of chukas hagoy (I never heard anything halachic, but then again I never asked).

lech lecha08

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 10:29 am

Growing up in America, we usually got something small (a book, slipper socks, etc) and than a larger present for the family as a whole.
DH grew up in Canada but has Israeli parents and they never did it but they do give all the various grandkids a bit of money usually.

poelmamosh

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 10:39 am

shalhevet wrote:

Isramom8 wrote:

Chanukah is also related to the word "chinuch" and it is a time to reward children for their Torah learning.

I will try to find out if there is a makor outside of chassidus for this idea Wink

No, to gift-giving. It is a secularized Chanukah/Xmas (lehavdil) association.

pina colada

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 10:56 am

One year, I think it was last year, the Yated editorial discussed Chanuka gifts. The inyan is giving the children money for chinuch, to reward them for learning Torah, the Greeks tried to have the Yidden not learn Torah. Over the years it evolved to buying gifts instead of money. They editorial went further to indicate that it is very most likely that as with many other things, "they" copied this from us.

This is afai remember.

sped

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 11:05 am

Growing up we never got gifts, because of the X-mas association. My father said it wasn't done in (pre-war) Europe and is an American invention. We got some Chanukah gelt, usually what we won playing dreidel...
Years later, I moved to Jewish Israel, married Israeli DH, and his parents definitely give gifts to the grandchildren, and not such small ones either! Go figure. .

brbs

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 11:23 am

My kids will be getting gifts. 1 from me and dh and one from my parents for every night... Sometimes some of the gifts have been clothing or new winter coat/boots or other things they need...

I think it is fun to give and receive gifts... My kids get gifts on chanukah and birthdays..

nicole81

Sun, Nov 29 2009, 11:49 am

my mother makes a big chanukah party and buys tons of gifts for the kids, and even a couple for myself and dh (she american and secular.)

my kids would be totally happy just to light the menorah, sing, play dreidel, and eat sufganiyot though. but I think as they get older, if their grandma stops with the big parties, we might get them 1 gift each if we have the money.