Consumerism is destroying the Jewish community from within

amother

↑ Oak ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 7:30 pm

amother Ultramarine wrote:

Not only. You used to be able to easily find a fresh baby stretchie in a local discount store for 18$ now it starts at 24$. It’s a small difference.

But for teens the jump was huge! Buying a teen a yt outfit shouldn’t be a luxury. What used to costs 85 now costs 120.

You obviously have Internet. I don't know what you mean by fresh stretchies. I'm assuming you mean new. Unless it's a brand?
Either way, you obviously have internet. Buy a $2 one online. Forget rising prices. Why spend even $18 for a stretchie and then complain about the price?

amother

↑ Oak ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 7:33 pm

amother Ultramarine wrote:

Personally I do find the quality better. But either way I was contrasting to the teens, for whom buying in target isn’t an option ( I actually do find some nice things there, hm etc. but they still need some outfits from the Jewish store for yt)

I have gorgeous yt outfits from target. Other non-Jewish stores also sell.

amother

↑ Oak ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 7:56 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

I just want to say that I get that it doesn’t matter to you, but having beautiful things for a baby can really help a new mom feel better. I’ve had really really hard pregnancies and having beautiful things for my baby really helped me heal. Not for anyone else, just for me.
I get that standards keep rising and we all need to do our part to keep it down, but let’s try not to be judgmental about what others are doing. You have no idea if that vacation, restaurant meal, or beautiful baby outfit is the only thing someone has got going for them in their life right now.
Just my two cents.

I hear what you're saying, but buying stuff to make yourself feel better is not a healthy way to live, especially if you can't afford to live that sort of lifestyle. And you said buying beautiful things, plural. Maybe buy the one iutfit, but if you're spending on thing after thing to make you feel good after a hard pregnancy, something is wrong! Cute baby stuff is not the only thing you have going for you. You have a baby!

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 8:07 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Regarding simchas I personally feel Rabbanim in communities should encourage people to keep it simple.

What if it’s my only child? What if one of my parents or in laws are sick, and we don’t know if they will make it to the next Simcha? Worse, what if one of the baalei Simcha are sick? There are a million reasons why a Simcha might not be toned down, and rightly so. Yes, some people probably should tone it down, but in general I don’t think there is anything wrong with making a beautiful, fancy Simcha IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 8:10 pm

GLUE wrote:

I spend a lot of money on flowers, that is a total waste of money they are not useful at all and can not be passed onto anyone.

I don’t think of it as wasted money. We get beautiful flowers every week that enhance our shabbos table, and then they stay on the table all week.

amother

↑ Cadetblue ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 8:11 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

This is called helping in a way for Refuas Hanefesh, Refuas Haguf. you need a few nice baby clothes, Go for it. Get out with a friend or DH for a nice Coffee. Go to the Spa. This is a Refua.
Going to Dubai is not. you need a rest with DH for 3 days, There are places you can go for $150 a night and get a meal. rest up etc. again this is Refuas Hanefesh. This is in order the woman has a refua and can watch and take care of her children and family.
If you need help for Pesach, Stay home and have cleaners come, order food for the YT. Thats different than spending $ for the plane, $ for the villa, $ for the food you will order. You are not going to Orlando and cooking. Change the mindset. It is possible.

amother

Ghostwhite ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 8:12 pm

amother Oak wrote:

When every luxury is excused for self care or for mental health we have a problem.

There I said it.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 9:00 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

This is called helping in a way for Refuas Hanefesh, Refuas Haguf. you need a few nice baby clothes, Go for it. Get out with a friend or DH for a nice Coffee. Go to the Spa. This is a Refua.
Going to Dubai is not. you need a rest with DH for 3 days, There are places you can go for $150 a night and get a meal. rest up etc. again this is Refuas Hanefesh. This is in order the woman has a refua and can watch and take care of her children and family.
If you need help for Pesach, Stay home and have cleaners come, order food for the YT. Thats different than spending $ for the plane, $ for the villa, $ for the food you will order. You are not going to Orando and cooking. Change the mindset. It is possible.

It’s not just about h tree money though. Some people need the break. Ordering food doesn’t help when you are the one who needs to serve and clean up. No one is going to have wait staff in their house all day, no one will be looking after your kids. Please don’t decide how people should spend their money, and what is right or not. You don’t know what people need and why.

amother

Grape

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 9:01 pm

meyerlemon44 wrote:

I agree and it’s one of the top reasons I decided I wanted to live OOT even though I’m from in town.

I live out of town. Let me tell you, it's probably worse here than where I lived in NY.

amother

Cyclamen ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 9:04 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

When every luxury is excused for self care or for mental health we have a problem.

There I said it.

Why does everyone have to wear new stuff all the time? What happened to hand me downs?

And self care and mental health simply do not require vacations to Dubai.

I blame Mishpacha and also Instagram.

amother

↑ Hibiscus ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 9:05 pm

amother Teal wrote:

A powerful thought:

"Our luxuries become our children's necessities"

This is not to stop us from doing what may be needed at times for our sanity, but at the end of the day, children see it and it becomes a requirement for them in their current and future. The way one grew up is usually the baseline for their needs.

It also comes down to inherent *self-worth*. Are we defined by who we are or what we have? Is only what we have who we are or is there more? Dina Friedman has a great class on Self-Worth, where she gives practical tools on building one's self-worth and how to build children's self-worth as well.

Wow thank you for this I think I’m going to take it. What a great parenting tool to have.
I was literally just thinking about this thr other day. I have lots of things to say about self worth but it’s hard having a teenager and helping them with it.

↑ chanatron1000 ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 9:09 pm

amother Cyclamen wrote:

Why does everyone have to wear new stuff all the time? What happened to hand me downs?

Though prices have gone up, quality has gone down, and now clothing often starts to fall apart after a few washes.

amother

↑ Bluebonnet ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 9:09 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

This is called helping in a way for Refuas Hanefesh, Refuas Haguf. you need a few nice baby clothes, Go for it. Get out with a friend or DH for a nice Coffee. Go to the Spa. This is a Refua.
Going to Dubai is not. you need a rest with DH for 3 days, There are places you can go for $150 a night and get a meal. rest up etc. again this is Refuas Hanefesh. This is in order the woman has a refua and can watch and take care of her children and family.
If you need help for Pesach, Stay home and have cleaners come, order food for the YT. Thats different than spending $ for the plane, $ for the villa, $ for the food you will order. You are not going to Orando and cooking. Change the mindset. It is possible.

Why do you care what I do for Pesach? I can afford it. Pay full tuitions

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 9:27 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

When every luxury is excused for self care or for mental health we have a problem.

There I said it.

If they can afford it, why not. If they cant, then its a problem.
If they can stop buying that luxury because the funds dried out - then they are ok.

↑ chanatron1000 ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 9:32 pm

amother Oak wrote:

I've never seen this happenand I don't buy fancy stuff.

It's not about fancy or less fancy. Some fancy stuff is more delicate. There has definitely been an overall decrease in quality of consumer goods in general over the past decade.

amother

↑ Oak ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 9:34 pm

chanatron1000 wrote:

It's not about fancy or less fancy. Some fancy stuff is more delicate. There has definitely been an overall decrease in quality of consumer goods in general over the past decade.

What sort of stuff are you buying that this happens? Target, walmart, carters, old navy... Clothes from these stores are the same quality as every.

amother

Babypink

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 9:39 pm

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

Why do you care what I do for Pesach? I can afford it. Pay full tuitions

Because what your doing on pesach is equivalent to for example a family of jews that bribed a guard in bergen belsen and is now eating a 7 course meal while the rest on starving. What your doing is not on any planet according to yiddishe hashkafa. When your in Dubai or orlando for peasach what are you channeling zeicher yetzias mitzrayim or Kim Kardashian ?

↑ chanatron1000 ↓

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 9:42 pm

amother Oak wrote:

What sort of stuff are you buying that this happens? Target, walmart, carters, old navy... Clothes from these stores are the same quality as every.

Are they, or are you just used to it?