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-> Household Management
amother
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 4:41 pm
Considering I never make soup except for Shabbos, no, it is not an option for me to make soup, that would be going way out of my way.
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finallyamommy
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 4:46 pm
amother wrote: | Considering I never make soup except for Shabbos, no, it is not an option for me to make soup, that would be going way out of my way. |
Okay, never mind. We are big soup people especially in the winter, but I get that not everyone is.
edit: sorry, didn't mean to post that anon.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 6:24 pm
Scrabble123 wrote: | So give her a little? |
I buy enough for my family. There isn't extra.
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Raisin
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 6:34 pm
I also like eating hot lunches. Usually I make an omelette or baked potato or eat leftovers from the night before.
If she really wants hot lunches keep her leftovers from dinner. Or tell her she can cook herself some scrambled eggs. What about buying ready made soup - the type they sell in cartons or cans?
If she is not happy with that she is being unreasonable.
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Tablepoetry
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 6:36 pm
amother wrote: | I buy enough for my family. There isn't extra. |
I hope you aren't eating this meal in front of her. That would be rude.
But if youre preparing it for later, she is out of bounds to ask for it.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 6:50 pm
Tablepoetry wrote: | I hope you aren't eating this meal in front of her. That would be rude.
But if youre preparing it for later, she is out of bounds to ask for it. |
Actually, yes I did tonight. She was here when my family got home. Was I supposed to ask her to join us or not feed them? DH has to go out to a meeting and will be home after the kids will be asleep. She shleped out her hours today. I wanted her gone.
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MagentaYenta
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 6:52 pm
amother wrote: | Actually, yes I did tonight. She was here when my family got home. Was I supposed to ask her to join us or not feed them? DH has to go out to a meeting and will be home after the kids will be asleep. She shleped out her hours today. I wanted her gone. |
I sense an edge of bitterness in your tone.
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Amarante
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 6:53 pm
amother wrote: | Actually, yes I did tonight. She was here when my family got home. Was I supposed to ask her to join us or not feed them? DH has to go out to a meeting and will be home after the kids will be asleep. She shleped out her hours today. I wanted her gone. |
I've never heard of dinner being served to a cleaning woman unless she is supposed to stay late to clean up after dinner or help with a party. But in my experience hired help are not asked to join a family at dinner. Lunch is completely different since typically the maid isn't physically eating with the family but is provided with food as a courtesy since lunch is part f normal working hours.
What is your arrangement with the maid. Does she work a certain number of hours or do a certain amount of agreed upon tasks.
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MamaBear
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 6:55 pm
Nicely tell her she can bring her lunch and you will find a way for her to eat it in your kosher home.
The take home point is, the cleaning help is supposed to be helping you. If, at the end of the day, you find the situation is not helping you, find a different woman or find no one and clean your home yourself.
FYI, a professional cleaning service cost significantly more than these women....but you won't have to serve them lunch.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 7:06 pm
Amarante wrote: | I've never heard of dinner being served to a cleaning woman unless she is supposed to stay late to clean up after dinner or help with a party. But in my experience hired help are not asked to join a family at dinner. Lunch is completely different since typically the maid isn't physically eating with the family but is provided with food as a courtesy since lunch is part f normal working hours.
What is your arrangement with the maid. Does she work a certain number of hours or do a certain amount of agreed upon tasks. |
She has certain tasks. She can let some go for next time if she doesn't finish like cleaning the silver or ironing. She was sick for a few weeks and I gave her extra hours the last two weeks to make up her work. Now I feel she is shlepping because she likes the extra hours.
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Amarante
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 7:11 pm
amother wrote: | She has certain tasks. She can let some go for next time if she doesn't finish like cleaning the silver or ironing. She was sick for a few weeks and I gave her extra hours the last two weeks to make up her work. Now I feel she is shlepping because she likes the extra hours. |
The category of no good deed going unpunished.
It seems as though your relationship,with her has become dysfunctional on a lot of levels and she appears to be taking advantage or at least you feel that way.
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RedCurls
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 7:37 pm
Miri7 wrote: | I had no idea that some people prepare lunches for cleaning ladies. I'd never heard of that. Mine have always brought their own lunches. They would keep hot things hot or cold things cold with thermoses or cold packs - just like the lunches my kids take.
If I was working from home and making myself lunch (usually heating leftovers) then I would offer to heat some for them. I did have one cleaning lady who was nearly full-time and she wanted to be able to heat things - she brought a little microwave and kept it in the garage. She would eat outside (we live in a very warm climate). That was fine by mel. |
I am so relieved to hear you say this. I work outside the home so I can't personally serve my cleaning lady lunch and didn't realize it's the norm ( I'm in U.S.). She always beings a Dunkin coffee and Is welcome to take a yogurt or make herself a sandwich.
When I am home (rarely) I offer whatever I'm having.
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mille
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 7:37 pm
amother wrote: | Considering I never make soup except for Shabbos, no, it is not an option for me to make soup, that would be going way out of my way. |
Since she comes twice a week, is it possible that you keep some tabatchnick frozen soups in the freezer? They microwave pretty quick, and they go on sale here for $1.50 for a pack of two. $1.50/week (or even $2.50 when not on sale ) isn't breaking the bank and might be a good compromise.
I agree you shouldn't cook anything special or fancy, that's silly. But microwaving a soup might be an easy option.
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Amarante
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 8:08 pm
amother wrote: | It is not really anymore dysfunctional than most employer/employee relationships. I like having someone else do work for me. She likes getting paid and wants to get as much as she can. I like my privacy in the evening and rather not feed her supper. |
I am basing on your posts in which she is asking for a hot lunch; wants to eat dinner and is stretching out the work to get more hours.
On that basis I would say there are issues since you appear to resent her current behavior.
Obviously having a cleaning lady isn't automatically dysfunctional but you are kvetching about your relationship.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 8:12 pm
Amarante wrote: | I am basing on your posts in which she is asking for a hot lunch; wants to eat dinner and is stretching out the work to get more hours.
On that basis I would say there are issues since you appear to resent her current behavior.
Obviously having a cleaning lady isn't automatically dysfunctional but you are kvetching about your relationship. |
I give her a hot lunch of left overs or fresh food if I am cooking a lot. I rather not give her steak, etc. Maxing out a paycheck is not exclusive to cleaning help. I understand she needs money after taking time for a few weeks.
The lack of privacy is something I hate, but then I hate a dirty house more.
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wantavaca
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 9:46 pm
I find they love gefen instant chicken noodle soup!
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amother
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 9:59 pm
Op here again. I suppose I could just buy boxed soups, but as I said, we're not really soup people, so I'd be going out and buying stuff that I never buy for my own family for someone who comes over twice a week. My boss or dh's boss wouldn't bend over to make such accommodations. I have no problem providing lunch. It's hard work and she's here for many hours, so of course she needs to eat a good meal at some point. Unfortunately, for various reasons, getting her a personal microwave or whatever and letting her just bring her own food wouldn't work, so that means I provide lunch. Obviously I want to take her preferences into account, but only to a point. If it's creating more stress, or requiring me to really go out of my way, well, we're starting to miss the point of having help. This is a job, not a hotel.
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MagentaYenta
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 10:02 pm
Why don't you just tell her how you feel?
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amother
Papaya
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Mon, Oct 26 2015, 10:12 pm
I just give bread and put out peanut butter, jelly and cream cheese and she helps herself with plastic utensils. Sometimes I'll give her a slice of cheese on the plate with the bread. Sometimes a slice of frozen pizza. Occasionally I'll give a fruit or cookie but that's it. I hope she's not upset. Isn't this what most people do??? She has a car and can always bring her own food and eat in her car since she knows my "menu".
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