I am an INFJ/enneagram 4 AMA

amother

Indigo

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 6:22 pm

amother Blush wrote:

I'm an enfp (possibly j)
I have a love hate thing with 4s. I can easily spot them and I'm attracted to them like a magnet but after a while, I hate them. I find them pretentious and very tiring. I also wish I were a 4. I guess I want to be special but I can't admit it and I'm not nearly creative enough in the raw talent department but I'm creative in my thinking. Paradoxically, I tend to be black and white sometimes too. I think I'm a two but I'm not sure. If I were to pick any number I wish I would be, it would be 3. Then 4. I know 4s love enneagrams so my question is: how can I find my type? I can't separate " the real me" from the me that has been forced to adapt based on life circumstances. The online tests are rubbish. I try to read about each type and get a feeling for which one I most identify with but I end up with a two while I don't 100 percent identity with that either. I also have some 4 and 5. And If you know anything about horoscopes, I am a true Aquarius.

I'm a 9 that can be mistaken for a 4 at times and I feel the same way re the love hate thing with 4's. They can be exhausting. (No offense to all you healthy 4's out there!)

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 7:44 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

I am an ENFJ, but I can't find myself on the enneagram!!!
Def. relate to 4, but also to 2 etc. but the ENFJ just fits me perfectly.
Anyone else relate?
Also OP, are your close friends also 4's?
How common is it to be an NF and a 4? do they generally go together?
my close friends are definitely NF's!!

Close friends are healthy 5’s, healthy 2’s. (And hey I don’t have that many close friends!)

I appreciate the validation form the 5
I appreciate the straight-upness straight forward grounded yet idealistic nature of the (healthy) 2.

daagahminayin

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 7:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

All these definitely resonate. I do most of them too.
I do somatic movement to relieve stress, journaling, prayer, alone time, learning hashkafa, meditation, and try to socialize with non toxic people, letting myself be kind because it’s a great part of my personality, and trying to accept others where they are at although it is lonely to be the only mature one sigh.

What’s your best energy healing tip? (Needing it this yom tov around some troubled people).

Sounds like we do a lot of the same things. I don’t know… I’ve been doing energy healing for years and it’s hard put it into one sentence here.

Except I guess the only right thing to say would be to find your own path and what works for you! Mine has shifted and developed over the years.

At the moment I’ve been really helped by watching Jeff Foster’s videos. The idea of loving and accepting all your emotions instead of trying to let them go, which is what we all talk about but for many of us has undertones of rejecting our feelings.

Before I found his videos I wrote this poem, it’s on the Imamother if you search for it, called Darkness You’re Too Big For Me. It’s a similar idea, about making peace with our shadow side and accepting it as a part of ourselves instead of aggressively trying to “heal it” aka make it go away asap.

Not easy in practice at all of course!!

daagahminayin

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 8:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

I studied the functions.

Super interesting!

Yeah it’s a whole new level! If you haven’t checked out the Cognitive Personality Type (CPT) channel on YouTube I invite you to do so - the guy who runs it is an INFJ as well and he has the most logical way of explaining the system that I’ve come across. I actually booked a session and got typed by him. Before that I thought I was an ENFP when I first discovered the functions (it’s actually very close to INFJ type-wise). When I didn’t know better and was just taking the online tests I usually came out as INFP.

One thing I love about the CPT system is that it allows room for growth and flexibility between the functions. Other systems say things like: if you have these functions in your stack you do not have access to certain other ones, which doesn’t resonate with me.

Ultimately these personality systems are all about helping us grow.

Now don’t get me started on Human Design…

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 8:15 pm

daagahminayin wrote:

Definitely going to check it out.
What do you refer to by human design?

Editing to add I have seen some of his vids in the past.

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 8:20 pm

daagahminayin wrote:

What about careers? I’ve done marketing for a very long time but I don’t have any interest in it as I find there is so much greed and dishonesty in the field.

Still- whenever I think of working on becoming a therapist because I feel so strongly for and actually get humans, I get cold feet because I cannot stand toxic people. I have plenty of compassion for them but cannot stand them all at the same time.

Thoughts?

daagahminayin

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 8:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

Definitely going to check it out.
What do you refer to by human design?

Editing to add I have seen some of his vids in the past.

Human Design is another system that gives you intricate info about your energy, which has an affect on your personality but is not the same thing.

I’m certified in it and approach it from a Torah-observant perspective. If you choose to go down this rabbit-hole you can definitely PM me about a reading Smile

But only do so if and when you feel called to. A main feature of this system is learning to trust your intuition. It was life-changing for me but is certainly not for everyone.

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 8:25 pm

daagahminayin wrote:

Hmm I’m checking out human design. Talks to me. I definitely believe in energy and the way it’s leeched ….

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 8:27 pm

daagahminayin wrote:

But only do so if and when you feel called to. A main feature of this system is learning to trust your intuition. It was life-changing for me but is certainly not for everyone.

Sounds interesting.

How does a reading work? Do you hear about the person and then create an assessment?

daagahminayin

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 8:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

I hear that. As an INFJ you probably have a knack for marketing due to understanding the psychology of the audience. But the shallowness of the industry might be hard to bear if you don’t have other sources of deep meaning in your life that you can spend a lot of time on.

daagahminayin

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 8:35 pm

giftedmom wrote:

Funny my INFJ friend is super into energy healing but the logical part of me thinks it’s BS

Yes tell me about it. I’m an energy healer and half of me is just in love with being in that space and working with people on the deepest levels… and the other half is totally skeptical! But if it works it works Smile

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 8:36 pm

amother Blush wrote:

You wrote up above that you have a strong pattern of first loving and then getting frustrated with the 4’s.
2 speculative reasons may be:
1 - they are unhealthy 4’s who rant about everything and jump to conclusions as a result of their emotionality.
2 - because although you appreciate being understood by another empath and the 4 brings dazzle into your life, you hate their way of taking action because you are a 9 and you lack that ability.

Regarding which types you love and don’t love, I love every number as long as they are self aware which is kinda rare.
I love the sparkle of the 7, the drive of the 3, the groundedness of the 5, the stability and trustworthiness of the 1, the calm of the 9, the fresh energy of the 8, the idealism and calm of the 2.

daagahminayin

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 8:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

Sounds interesting.

How does a reading work? Do you hear about the person and then create an assessment?

I need their date, city and time of birth. Then I run their chart using an online program and can give a reading based on that.

Verrrry different approach than MBTI or enneagram.

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 8:37 pm

daagahminayin wrote:

Correct.

So maybe I’ll become an energy healer. Hey you never know!