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Forum -> Judaism -> Halachic Questions and Discussions
Always the bigger person.



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amother


 

Post Mon, May 17 2010, 3:06 am
I am more observant than dh, and also try to be mevater for shalom.
I feel like im always giving in to whatever he wants, even suppressing being machmir. everything I want to do is such a big deal that it has come to the point where I just don't tell him.

I have become very resentful. he doesnt appreciate my efforts. I think he is becoming more chauvinistic as I do whatever he wants, and he knows that I always give in.
but I am just not happy anymore. I am trying to be b'simchah, but its years and years of forcing myself to be the bigger person.

please give me positive advice and chizzuk
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Hashems Princess




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 17 2010, 3:34 am
I have felt like that at times. can you not sit down and discuss how you feeling. Maybe both of you take a pen and paper and write down your feelings and share them afterwards. It will also make you less angry and putting things down on paper usually makes it not seem so bad. Alternatively, does he not have a Mentor or rabbi that he is close to that you can ask him to speak to him. Sometimes hearing it from an outsider also puts things into perspective.

Hatzlocha hun, Hashem is proud of you.
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hannah95




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 17 2010, 4:39 am
Maybe you need a third party getting involved, so you don't feel you have to make the decision every time. If you have a Rav that you feel confortable with, maybe you could try meeting with him as a couple and explaining. A Rav that understands your situation will make everything possible to preserve your shalom bayis and stick to a good halachic standard.
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life'sgreat




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 17 2010, 11:49 am
Is there a balance in this? Are you the only one always giving in?
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